Dick's Diet

Fat Is Not Acceptable: Chapter Four - One Simple Formula

2012-01-05T06:50:00.004-05:00

This is going to be the shortest chapter in the book. It is called ONE SIMPLE FORMULA, so a real long explanation would just be a lie right? Here it is.

[Calories In (CI)] – [Calories Burned (CB)]
Pounds Lost or Gained

=3500 (Calories per pound)

Your life is a zero sum game according to that formula. If you are happy with your present condition and want to maintain it, your goal is to make the CI and the CB equal. You want to use all the calories you put into your body.

If you want to lose weight, you need to make sure that you expend more calories every day than you eat. CB must always be greater than CI. This will result in a negative number and, when divided by 3500, indicates the number of pounds you have lost. 3500 calories roughly equals a pound of body weight.

You should make sure that the timing of the formula is a match. I presume you have figured this out but I will state it anyway. The Calories In and the Calories Burned must be over the same time period. It is not the number of calories you ate today and the number of calories you burned in a week. The easiest way to do this is to record your CI and CB daily and put it on your calendar. At the end of the week, subtract CB from CI and divide that by 3500. How many pounds should you have lost this week? Now look at the pure weight according to your scale? Is it close? Your weight does fluctuate daily based on sex, hormones, and water retention. Over a two week period, these numbers should begin to match. If they don’t, you need to reexamine what you are eating, how you are exercising and how you are estimating your numbers. And be honest.

Calculate these numbers daily.

Fat Is Not Acceptable: Chapter Three - Living By The Numbers

2011-12-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

How do you change the quality of your life? First, we have to define the term “Quality of Life.” University of Toronto researchers have chosen a good definition. They define it as, “the degree to which a person enjoys the important possibilities of his/her life.” I like that. It is simple and to the point. We should also agree that the degree to which you can enjoy these possibilities will be determined by your physical and mental condition. Nothing will more negatively impact your quality of life than poor physical and mental condition. Beyond showing you some examples of how to throw the mental switch that helps you better your own physical condition, I am not qualified to write a book on mental health. I am, however, qualified to show you how you can improve your physical health.

The improvement of your physical health starts with “the numbers.” I told you in the previous chapter that the recipe for good physical shape was simple. It is. That said, your journey to improved physical health will not be measured by some qualitative descriptions like, “I feel fine” or “I feel so much better than I did two months ago!” This journey is going to be measured with numbers. How much do I weigh now? What is my BMI (I will tell you shortly)? What is my blood pressure? What is my cholesterol level? How far am I walking? How many calories am I burning? How many calories did I eat yesterday?

Are you getting the picture? The solution to improving your physical condition starts with these questions and the answers to them, which quite simply are, the “numbers.” I know…we hate numbers. Numbers don’t lie. You can’t hide behind them. They are objective. They are unforgiving. They are accountable. They will also become your best friends. You can depend on them. They are honest. They are the yardstick by which your journey will be measured. We now agree on something, the numbers will guide you.

The Journey Begins Here..

Your new physical condition and the transformation that will accompany it will be the journey to your new life. So, like any other journey we take these days, we shall begin by using a familiar process. We will go to a good Map website like Google Maps or Mapquest. Go to your computer and go to your preferred Map website and click on “Directions.” What are the first two things you need to know? Correct! Your journey requires two things, a starting point and a destination. You can’t even begin to know HOW you will take a journey without those two things. Like any decent computer application, your Map website only deals in facts. Nothing but data. Tell me where you are. Is it Boston, MA? San Francisco, CA? How about the street name? Using data, they can pin this down to an accuracy level of feet/meters. If you answer “in a city” or “a lovely neighborhood,” your map website will not respond. “Just give me data, just the facts.” It wants to know latitude and longitude.

Your physical condition is exactly like this website. We start with your ‘begin’ point. You cannot get where you want to go without knowing where you are at all times. In choosing this starting point, we can estimate, but we should try to refine the information as much as possible. You must try to define your starting point as well as you can. Let’s look at some potential candidates for your “numbers” together. The obvious statistic is height and weight. Your height will not change but, hopefully, your weight will. Weight is the most common statistic for measuring a person’s physical condition. It is the base metric for any physical conditioning program. Your height, when combined with your weight, also gives you a commonly known measurement of your physical state called BMI or Body Mass Index. You can take some of the more medically related measurements too. There may be many reasons you have decided to change the direction of your personal health, some of which may be medical. Measurements such as blood pressure and cholesterol are a few of the big ones.

There are also performance statistics that you can add in to your “numbers.” How long does it take you to walk a mile? How many pushups and situps am I doing? How much weight am I lifting and how many repetitions does that take? You can measure in distance, time, strength, etc. The last two metrics are the big ones because, like weight, they will be thought of every day on this journey. They are also the two most critical components of the ONE SIMPLE FORMULA you need to keep in your head every day for the rest of your life. Stick with me on this chapter and at the end, I will reveal those two metrics and the SIMPLE FORMULA. Our first step in this journey will be capturing and recording your current numbers. Let’s figure out what your starting point is on this journey.

The first number will be the most obvious one. What is your weight? You don’t need anything more than a good scale to answer this. If you don’t have one, go get one. A digital scale would be best. Most people think a piece of exercise equipment should be the most used item in a journey to better health. Not so. The scale should be. If you heed my words, you will use this daily for the rest of your life. You will hear many diet professionals tell you that you shouldn’t weigh yourself every day. I will tell you that that is crap. Sorry, I don’t have a better or more accurate word than that. So long as you understand that you are looking for a number that is intended to give your journey direction, you will be fine. Your body weight does fluctuate daily and during the course of your day. You can adjust for this by using a few rules. Weigh yourself at the same time every day. I weigh myself first thing in the morning. I get out of bed, go into the bathroom and do my business, and weigh myself. Weigh yourself in the same condition. Don’t weigh yourself fully clothed and then, the next day, weigh in while you are naked. Don’t weigh yourself after breakfast on day one and then, on day two, before breakfast. Use the same condition every day. Next, record that weight daily. Put a cheap calendar on your bathroom door and write the weight down right after you weigh yourself. Sorry. I know there is nothing worse than putting it down on paper. That is called accountability baby…deal with it. For some of you, weighing yourself may not be as easy as I make it out to be. I have weighed as much as 285 lbs and most house scales max out at 300. Some of the new digital ones go as high as 400. The reality is, for some of you, you may need to see your doctor or find other less regular ways to weigh yourself until you bring yourself to the point where you can use the household items. This is not an excuse to skip weighing yourself. This is an invitation to be creative. Weigh yourself daily, or as frequently as humanly possible, and record it.

The next number is actually a formula combination of both your height and weight. It requires a bit of explanation because it is frequently misused and misinterpreted. It is your BMI. For this, you need to know your height, which you will combine with your weight and get the calculation for your BMI. BMI is your Body Mass Index. You can go online and search for an online calculation using the terms ‘free online BMI calculation’ and simply plug in your height and weight. It will give you the result. This metric is supposed to calculate your percentage of body fat based purely on your height and weight. It is the most common calculation used in most government and institution charts that determine your physical status. It typically has 5 levels. The first level is underweight. This means that based on your height (H) and weight (W), you have very little fat and probably not enough body fat to be considered healthy. There are broomsticks that outweigh you. The second level is ‘on weight.’ If you are here, the government says you are fine and meeting their standard. You are perfectly fine and dandy. The third level is overweight. This means that based on H and W, you are between 25% and 30% body fat. The tables say that you are carrying too much body fat at this point and that maybe you should re-examine your relationship with fast food restaurants and desserts. The fourth level is called ‘obese.’ This means you are between 30% and 40% body fat. If you are here, you are approaching the top limit of most standard house scales and home exercise machines. When living your life requires industrial strength equipment, you need to take a hard look at yourself. ‘Obese’ used to be the last and worst category and was classified as greater than 30%. In the past years, due to the ever increasing size of our population in the United States, they added a new category called ‘morbidly obese.’ This is what you classify as if you are greater than 40% body fat. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when people become so big that doctors need to coin a term worse than ‘obese.’ When your doctor refers to you in this category, he/she should be wearing a black hooded robe and be carrying a sickle. I am sorry to say this, and don’t mean this line to be funny, you are killing yourself.

BMI is an important number because it is used in many government health assessments and, maybe more importantly to you, tied to things like life insurance tables. If you are overweight or obese, and you want life insurance, it will cost you dearly. Moving your BMI to a better place can help your wallet as well as your health.

I do need to state one thing for the record. I don’t personally like the BMI calculation. BMI, as a metric, has one major drawback. It does not account for people who are well muscled or just have a solid body frame (big bones). I have both. I can hear you laughing as I write this. “The unforgiving diet guy has his own set of rules!” I actually come from a family that is, stop laughing, big boned. My ancestors were a combination of French trappers and Native American Indians. I have had doctors tell me that the bone density of men in my family is higher than the average. I also have a very muscular frame as I have been very athletic my whole life. When you calculate my BMI, for a standard 6 foot tall male weighing 205 lbs, it says I am at 27% body fat, which puts me in the category of overweight. At issue here is the fact that muscle weighs more than fat and if you have a lot of muscle weight, the charts refer to it as all fat. Every height and weight chart I have ever seen says that I should weigh less than 187 lbs to be considered NOT overweight. I run about 15-20 miles per week and am in peak condition for a 48 year old male. I currently weigh between 200 and 205. At 187, I would be emaciated. As I said earlier, government charts use this metric. When I was in the Army, I did not fit any of their charts. The U.S. Military actually recognizes the deficiency in this metric and then sends the soldiers who are muscular for a body fat composition test. Based on that measurement, they reset your minimum. My acceptable weight was reset to 210 lbs. That was 23 lbs more that the chart’s 187. I recently had another body fat composition test done and I was at 16% body fat, versus 27% on the chart. That kind of supports my stance on BMI and will, perhaps, make you stop laughing at me. Let’s be clear though, if your BMI is 35% and you have a skinny neck and skinny wrists and have never been athletic, your BMI is not ‘muscle.’ So I personally can use the BMI, so long as I discount the government’s interpretation. You can use it too. You just have to look at these numbers as directional indicators. If you are 40% body fat right now, you should try for something lower, like 30% to begin with. Only a qualified health professional with additional metrics can tell you what your BMI means to you personally. No one else should interpret that number for you, but you should be aware of the role that number will play in your life.

The next set of numbers should come directly from your doctor. They are probably one of the major reasons you have taken a good hard look at your personal health. You will not see these numbers daily and you should know what they are to begin with. You should talk to your doctor about getting these numbers at least every month or two as you are changing your personal condition. These would be your cholesterol and your blood pressure. Get them and mark them down. Why are these numbers critical? Because they are the key ‘warning lights’ for a heart attack. High cholesterol over time can cause blood channel restrictions and blockages as more and more of that sticky cholesterol clings to the inner lining of your veins and arteries. Ever driven down a highway and have four lanes become three? Or two? What happens? We see the traffic flow slow to a crawl. If all lanes stop because of a traffic accident, you stop entirely. This is where the analogy ends. Traffic can stop but your blood can’t. It has to flow to keep you living. When your heart continues to move the blood around your body through smaller blood vessel spaces at the same rate of speed, the harder your system works and your blood pressure goes up. When you get a blockage at this point, it spells disaster in the form of a heart attack (the pump breaks) or an artery rupture (the pipe splits). This isn’t a pretty picture. You want low cholesterol to keep the blood highway clear and you want to know that blood pressure as a measure of how hard your heart is working within your blood system. There’s one other thing about blood pressure (BP) that you should know. As your physical condition improves, your heart, a muscle, will get more efficient with exercise. So long as you are not a risk due to some kind of heart health condition, as a measurement of your heart’s performance, your blood pressure is great to know. You would ideally like to be able to move your body around this world with as little physical stress as possible. Your BP metric will help you considerably here.

The next set of numbers is what I refer to as ‘performance based.’ They are the indicators that will tell you how well you are doing with exercise in your life. You should be able to calculate these numbers because all of you will have some form of exercise in your life from now on, right? Just say ‘yes.’ ‘No’ is not an option. I need to qualify that last statement with one comment.

MAKE SURE that you consult your doctor to make sure you are physically safe enough to start an exercise program. The larger you are, the more important this clearance becomes. If you have ever had any medical conditions that make exercise dangerous, again, get your doctor’s opinion.

If your exercise includes distance and time, record it. How far did I walk/run/bike over what time? I did 3 miles in 45 minutes walking. I did 2 miles jogging in 20 minutes. I swam 30 laps in 40 minutes. Whatever your exercise was, record it. Try to maintain a degree of consistency to your program so you can measure your improvements. The goal you should set is to do better every day. At first, based on how big and out of condition you are, the numbers may be shocking. Know this, as you continue to exercise, the improvement in the first month or two will be very noticeable and personally encouraging. Take that from my own personal experience. Every time I lost a large amount of weight, the exercise metrics were the ones (along with weight) that I focused on the most. It may have come from my history of athletics or my competitive edge, but that was very important to me and I believe it played a large role in my weight loss success. When you are done exercising, write your performance numbers on the calendar in the same blocks as you wrote your weight.

The last set of numbers you want to know are the most necessary to achieving your weight loss and personal conditioning goals. All of these numbers have to do with your calories. Let me say right from the start that calculating these numbers will be very difficult because they will never be more than estimates. You need to know how many calories you take in each day and how many calories you burn each day. Measuring these numbers will take some diligence and will require some personal honesty on your part. If you are not honest about these numbers, it could disillusion you about how much weight you should be losing with your new lifestyle. Why are these numbers hard? It is because they require estimating. If you constantly underestimate your intake or overestimate the calories you are burning, you just will be disillusioning yourself about your goal. Most importantly, these numbers are how you will live your life every day going forward from today. They are the key to maintaining proper health conditioning. The process will be hard at the beginning but, over time, will become instinctive. At some point, you will not even calculate the numbers. You will simply translate the food you are looking at into good/bad choices based on your “gut.” Believe it or not, people who you look at that are in good physical health/condition have learned to do this at some point in their life. It is so natural to them that they don’t even notice. If you followed them around daily and marked what they ate, you would see why they are in the condition they are in. From quantity to food quality, they make better decisions than the fatties do. You have to learn this. You have to internalize it. You MUST train yourself now to prepare for the rest of your life. Lastly, these calorie counts are the key to the ONE SIMPLE FORMULA that you need to know to maintain your physical condition for the rest of your life.

We will cover the counting of the calories in two future chapters. One chapter is on the food you are eating and counting what you put in the tank. The other chapter is about the fat burning process and how you count the calories you burn.

There are many more numbers that you can use as the barometer for your success. My recommendation is to not overcomplicate, keep it simple. Pick the one you can measure daily, of course…weight. Pick a few you can measure monthly that are performance based and perhaps your BMI or blood pressure (which can be done by almost any professional for no fee). Lastly, pick a few you can measure every 3 to 6 months like your cholesterol.

This is where your journey begins.

The Journey Ends Here…

Where are you going? As we started this chapter we noted that every journey requires a starting point and a destination. Here is where we pick the destination. This part is not difficult. This is the part where you set the goal you want to attain. You will need goal numbers that compliment the numbers you chose as your standard personal lifestyle metrics.

I have only one suggestion. Make the goals modest by making them short term goals. If you want to lose 100 pounds, make the first goal 20 lbs. Once you get there, you can make a new goal of 20 lbs. If you set out on a boat to find an island, it is easier to do five 20 mile journeys to a set of islands you can see than it is to set out on a 100 mile journey to an island nowhere in sight. Keep the milestones visible.

How much do I weigh today? What is reasonable here? I would like to lose 10 (or 15 or 20) pounds in the next month. Here is where you pick the number.

I can walk 3 miles in 45 minutes. In four weeks, I want that to be 40 minutes. I also want to begin to jog a little, in spurts, while I walk. I swam 30 laps in the pool at the gym in 45 minutes. I want to increase that to 45 laps, it doesn’t matter how much time it takes. So long as your numbers take a reasonable approach to improvement, and so long as you work on them, whatever you pick is fine. Again, if you put a time limit on achieving the goal, and if you hit it early, reset and keep getting stronger.

What is my cholesterol? My bad cholesterol is 230. I want it to be 200 by my next screening. Better yet, for this one, ask your doctor. What do they recommend? Whatever they say, that is the goal.

How many calories (estimated) did I consume today? How many did I burn? We will do the math and apply the ONE SIMPLE FORMULA for our daily calculation of progress.

By this time it should go without saying but, I will remind you again, record these goals. Put it in a visible place, preferably on that calendar I asked you to keep on your daily weight as well as the other monthly, three month and six month metrics. At the end of beginning of every day you should look hard at these goals and see yourself attaining them. You should recommit to them every day. At the end of every day, you should look at them again and look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself this question. “Have you worked as hard on these goals today as you could have?” Be honest. Now look at your numbers. What are your numbers telling you? They will keep you honest. Tomorrow is a new day and the next step in your plan. Will it be a strong step? Only you can answer this.

That’s it. Your journey is now mapped out in a new game plan. You will look at your numbers every morning and every night and make an honest assessment.

We will get to the formula in a moment but I now have to give you the third lesson of the book.

Calculate and record your numbers daily. Commit your goals to memory. Dedicate your daily activity to making the choices that support moving the numbers. At this point in your journey, it is ALL about the numbers.

Are you ready for the ONE SIMPLE FORMULA?

Fat is Not Acceptable: Chapter Two - Your 'Come to Jesus' Moment

2011-12-10T18:18:00.002-05:00

This chapter is not about religion. I am a Christian but this expression is not meant to isolate any of my brethren of all other religions. Just take this ride with me for a moment as I explain. “Come to Jesus” is an expression we used when I was in the Army. It came from another phrase we used, “ain’t no atheists in a foxhole.” What it means is that everybody must one day face the conflicts of their life and make a stand. Some of us pray for divine intervention when a situation gets really out of hand but, ultimately, at some point you must look at your situation and figure out what YOU are going to do about it. You can sit in your foxhole and be shot at and die, or you can say a prayer to your maker and start shooting back. That is what is meant by the expression. You picked up this book for a reason. That was your first step. Congratulations. It is now time for your second step. The second step is all about your “Come to Jesus” (or pick your own spiritual guide if you find this remotely offensive) moment. Are you ready to understand your situation and make the decision to shoot back? Are you ready to assume control of your life? Are you ready to change?

You need to face reality. We are going to start doing that right now. You also need to understand something else. It won’t be pretty. Here is what you are going to do. You need to pick a time when you will have some private time in a bathroom or bedroom and not be disturbed. All other residents in your house should be gone, or asleep, it doesn’t matter. Allow yourself at least an hour. You just need time alone. This is a time for reflection. You are going to get into the skimpiest bathing suit or underwear you can find. By skimpy, I don’t mean that it doesn’t fit…just that it exposes as much of you as possible. You are also going to need a couple things. Find as big a mirror as you have in your home, a notepad, a scale and a camera. If you have been thin at one time in your life, and have a picture of yourself from that time, bring it too. I can feel your fear already.

I am assuming now that it is just you and the mirror, accompanied by the added extras I asked you to bring along. Step on the scale. Look good and hard at it. This might be the first time you have seen your weight on a scale in a long time. You may even start to cry. That is fine too. Write the weight down. Open the notebook and write this number down with a date. If you have a calendar on your bathroom door, write the number on today’s date. I know how this makes you feel, especially you ladies. Let me share a grim reality with you. You may not want to see that number or acknowledge it. You are only fooling yourself. The rest of the world knows you are overweight or perhaps obese. It is time to forget them and put that number in plain sight. It is there to help you. Today we acknowledge reality and begin to shoot back. If you choose to change the direction of your life, you will be looking at this scale a lot, so get used to it.

Next, you are going to stand in front of the mirror and take a good hard long look at yourself. I know…you look in the mirror every day. Not like this you don’t. I have asked you to be in your underwear or a swimsuit but, if you dare, you can be naked. It is just you and the mirror. That is why they call it the “naked truth.” Take a good look at yourself. What do you see? Look at your face. Can you see your cheekbones? Are there fatty deposits around your eyelids? Not wrinkles, fatty deposits. Look at your neck. How much extra is hanging in there? Look at your upper body. Is there fat on your shoulders? ON your shoulders? How about under your arms? What is hanging below your bicep area? Look at your chest. Do you men have the ‘man-breasts’? Ladies, is excess fat making your breasts sag? Where do they begin when they leave your body? How about the mid-section? Do you have a beer gut?...even you ladies? What is draped around your middle? How about your hips? Is fat piled on all around your hips? Look at your thighs. Can you tell where they attach to your torso or is it one big flowing mass (or mess)? Are your thighs fat right above your knees? Look below your knees. Are your calves fat? I am trying to make light of this a little but I know this is not easy. At some point, you are going to have to be able to laugh at yourself. You are going to have to not take yourself so seriously. I want you to write down the various areas and write down what you see. Be honest. Be brutal. It is just you and the notebook.

Take a second look at yourself in the mirror. Head to toe. Do you see outward physical symptoms of distress? You are looking for unnatural swelling. Excess fluid in your body is called edema. Is it present anywhere? Is there so much fat in certain areas that your skin is becoming irritated and inflamed? Are there excess red blotches and veins? Look for these things and, yes, write it in the notebook.

As you look in the mirror. I want you to touch the fatty areas. I am not being sick here, get over it. This is important. Rub your hands over your face. Pinch the fat everywhere. Circle your hands around your neck (no matter how you feel about what you are seeing…don’t squeeze!) and really understand the size you are dealing with. You need to remember this exercise so take your time and commit it to memory. Grab the fat around your arms, your mid-section and your waist. You can actually hold it in your hands. This is not muscle. This is nothing more than excess stores of fat in your body that will never ever be used. The longer it stays, the more it becomes a part of your body and who you are as a person. Get a real feel for how much of it there is. You have spent a lot of time, money and effort hiding this. No more. Put your hands around your thighs. Squeeze the fat. Pinch it. If you have thoughts about what you are experiencing and feel like you want to never forget them, write them down.

As you really feel the fat on your body, move it around. How would you look if it weren’t there? If you could see your jaw line again, how would it look? How about if your mid-section were trimmer? If you have the picture of the old or thinner ‘you’, now is the time to look at it. Make a comparison. If you have no picture because you have never been a thin person, draw one in your mind. Be as creative as you want, you are going to create a new ‘you.’

As you look into that mirror, I want you to think about all of your physical ailments and issues that are being caused by what you are seeing. Some are obvious, some may not be. Do you have high cholesterol? Is there edema around your body? I don’t mean fat, I mean swelling from water deposits being brought on BECAUSE of the fat. How is your blood pressure? How about your breathing? Can you climb stairs without breathing hard? Acid reflux issues? Does that gut hang over your middle so heavily that it is bending your esophagus and causing acid reflux (also known as frequent heartburn or acid indigestion)? Write the ailments down.

How about your quality of life? Has the person in the mirror caused health issues that have affected you financially? Do you have to pay three times the amount a healthy person pays just to have life insurance? Is it hard shopping for and finding clothes that fit? How mobile are you? Can you enjoy the basic physical activities that we share together in groups like just throwing a football around at a picnic? How has your level of physical fitness affected your life? Write it down.

How has the person in the mirror affected you professionally? If you are a labor worker, have you had chronic back issues at an early age? Can you not perform the physical functions that would keep you employed in a competitive workplace? How do you look in a suit? Do you look like someone who could effectively manage an office when you can’t even manage your personal condition? Would you hire the person in the mirror? I hired a temporary employee a couple years back when I was overweight. He was obese but I didn’t consider that too much, probably because I was getting there myself. He was much larger than me. He spent 2 out of every 10 days sick in some form. He could not type on a keyboard and move about the desk without breathing heavy. I will tell you that when I was losing my weight, I thought about him often. I also know I will never hire an obese person again for that very reason. Before you shout “discrimination”, performance and ability to perform is a valid reason for hiring or not hiring someone. Obesity will negatively affect performance and also cause the company unforeseen expenses for emergency and chronic health issues. It would be a justified reason. Has your professional life been impacted by your physical condition? WRITE IT DOWN.

Lastly, I want you to get that camera. If you have been examining yourself naked, please put the swimsuit or undies back on! Take some photos of yourself. You can put them in your notebook or anywhere else where you can reasonably look at them and remember where you have been. Someday, should you decide that your fight begins today, you will hold these next to the new you. When you do that, you will smile a lot at the picture that now frightens you. Take the picture and put it/them in your notebook. You can bet that I have a picture from my first day, in my swimsuit. It is even on page one of my website where I blog on my diet…for all the world to see.

Your weight, size and physical condition is only a secret to you. It is outwardly visible to every other person you come in contact with and they are noticing. Everyone sees what you refuse to recognize. No amount of black fabric in the world actually hides it. You are not fooling anyone but yourself. The minute you openly acknowledge your condition to yourself, you are on your way.

Look in that mirror and say this to yourself.

“I did this to myself. I made every poor choice that created what I am looking at in this mirror. I am not this way because of my parents, other people, our culture or corporate America. I am this way because of me. But, I can fix this. I know I can fix this. Nothing is irreversible when it comes to my physical condition. I am strong enough to make better choices, improve my condition and change the direction of my life.”

Say this over and over again until it becomes who you are. I am a big proponent of taking responsibility for any condition of my own doing and being the one who has to fix it. That said, many of you will feel like you need some extra help. If you need to pray, please do, remember though, God (whichever deity you acknowledge as yours) helps those who help themselves. He will be your wind, but you need to get the boat in the water, chart your direction and put up your sails. This is your “Come to Jesus” moment. Are you going to sit in your foxhole, or are you ready to fight?

The second lesson of this book may now be obvious:

You are the captain of your destiny. You are responsible for everything that got you here and only you can change the course of your life.

Good luck and I hope you move on to the next chapter with me.

Fat Is Not Acceptable: Chapter One - I Get It

2011-12-05T22:16:00.004-05:00

In this book, I am going to be pretty harsh on many things. I am going to be unforgiving on how you think about yourself. I am going to be tough on convincing you that you actually can achieve good health…because at some time, you are going to want to throw in the towel. I am going to be very critical of how we, as a society, are adapting to the ‘fat’ condition instead of countering it. Many of the things I have to say are, initially, not going to be pleasant to hear. I am not going to coddle or be kind about a condition I have learned to take very seriously. The first thing people will want to do is destroy the messenger.

“It’s real easy for a thin person to dictate to the rest of us.”

“It is too hard when you are this big!”

“He has no idea how we feel.”

Wrong. On all counts. I know exactly what it feels like. I have fought a battle with weight my whole life. I know what it is like to be very big. I know what it is like to not be able to fit into a seat on a plane or at an old-time baseball park. I know what it is like to not fit in normal sized clothes. I know what it is like to be denied employment because of my size, turned down for dates, and made fun of. I don’t know what it is like to be morbidly obese but if you are 3 times the size that I was at my peak, I do know you probably have 3 times as many health problems and 10 times as many emotional issues tied to your size. And lastly, I do know what it is like to get so large that you need to choose an alternative, and perhaps drastic, route to losing the weight. That, you will find out, was the ‘never again’ breaking point for me. I don’t need to understand the precise nature of your exact pain to understand the pain of being fat. I get it.

I also get something else. I have lost over 50 lbs from my frame about 4 times in my life. Losing between 50 and 85-90 lbs is hard. I give myself credit for being able to do it. I have also had times in my life when I gained it all back and then some. In those cases, I blame myself for letting my size and health get so badly out of hand. I have been very thin and I have been massive. I know the highs of being a person who was in shape and at least attractive enough to get dates with cute girls. I know the lows of not being able to climb stairs without breathing heavy or sitting on a piece of lawn furniture and having it blow apart under my huge frame. I didn’t get large because of something natural, like being pregnant. I did it the fun way. I did it by eating whatever I felt like, not exercising, not considering my health, and never looking at myself critically enough to make an honest personal assessment of my condition. Unlike most of you, I know both sides of this coin. I know the journey very well and I know what it will take for you to get back to healthy. So if you bought this book because you need help, the first thing you have to understand is that I am coming from a place that is very much, if not exactly, right where you are right now. I also know where you need to go. Don’t read what I am saying and fall into the trap of ‘shooting the messenger.’ As hard as I am going to be on these topics, I really do get it.

I am 48 years old as of this writing. I was born in 1962 in Rhode Island, to a French/Irish family. I can remember, as a child of the 60’s and 70’s, when television had only 3 major networks and a handful of local UHF stations. From 9AM to 11AM there were talk shows and from 11AM to 4PM, nothing but soap operas. There wasn’t any cable and no computers to sit in front of for hours on end. It was a time when kids left the house at 8:30AM in the summer and didn’t come back until dinner. You never knew where they were or how they ate lunch (or if!). We walked everywhere and, if you had one, also rode our bicycles. We rode for miles every day, not point to point, just due to continuous activity.

In my neighborhood, there was a field at the end of my street (referred to by all of us as, of course, ‘the field’) that was always full of kids. There was a playground area and one baseball diamond. Not a formal diamond like they have today with dugouts, fences and a real homeplate…this diamond was created by kids actually playing on it. The playing surface was grass and the infield was made of dirt, but not because some Little League Committee groomed it. It was made of dirt from the constant wear of running the bases. It was a time when the base path and the infield were dirt because it was used from sunup to sundown and the grass was trampled to death by the kids and the game itself. There were days when the neighborhood teams fought over who would use it, the loser having to play in the other corner of the lot and make a ‘fake’ diamond. We would use the players’ gloves of the batting team as bases. The field had holes, bumps, rocks and divots. Sometimes there was glass from a broken bottle. There were no umpires, only the rules we made and enforced among ourselves. We didn’t need organized play. We lived to play outside by ourselves.

I also remember being a kid who loved food. I had a Grandmother and some older Aunts who were awesome cooks. They came from a farming family in Canada and had moved to New England to start their own families in the early 1900’s and get a different life. They cooked from ‘scratch’ all the time. In the 60’s and 70’s, that wasn’t entirely uncommon, but there were a lot of prepared foods and desserts that were starting to be produced. We would have Sunday dinner at their house and visit them a couple times a week. These were women who were used to cooking for a family of working farmers in Canada. The meals were hearty ones with lots of meat, potatoes, butter and milk. My Aunt Gert used to make these Tollhouse cookies that I would eat 8-9 at a pop. These meals would have been great for me if I was about to go outside and run the cows back and forth from the far pasture or spend the next 6 hours bailing hay. But I wasn’t. I was just a normal kid eating like a farmer. It was at this point in my life, around 8-10 years of age, when my happy relationship with food was cultivated.

At this point in my life, the eating was balanced with activity…but slowly, as I got slightly older and became more social and leisure oriented (still as a kid) the eating habits took their toll on me. As we moved into the mid-70’s, weekend and weeknight television quality was improving (and I do love television), much more emphasis was placed on my studies and reading, and the active lifestyle I once had in my early childhood was slowing down. I was starting to develop a ‘softer’ look as the food I took in outpaced the energy I expended. My inherited and undisciplined eating habits had steered me straight to the Husky pants section of the local clothing store.

Stores in the 70’s were not accommodating to the fat people. There was no ‘Plus Size’ section or a real “Big and Tall” store. If you were one of the fat ones, it was embarrassing. You had to get special pants and wear baggy shirts, and nothing fit right. Most of the other kids were in good physical shape. If you were fat, you stood out. You were the Catcher on the little league team and the ‘blocker’ when playing football. You sat the bench in basketball because that sport required speed and agility, and fat kids weren’t fast or stealthy. If you didn’t get involved and play, you were lonely. There weren’t a lot of sports either. Not like the plethora of activities kids have today. If you didn’t play one of the major sports, you didn’t play. You didn’t have a computer and a social network either. You didn’t have the ability to create a thin avatar and hide behind it so people couldn’t see you.

There were no diet foods back then. Think about that one for a moment. NO diet food existed. If you went on a ‘diet’ it meant one thing and one thing only, disciplined eating habits. There were no foods created specifically to accommodate the fatties. The other kids had Ring Dings and Yodels for their lunch dessert, you got an apple not some apple tart with Splenda. They had ice cream for a snack while you had a couple crackers and a little peanut butter. They didn’t make ‘low fat’ anything back then. There was actually a dietary form of ice cream called ‘Ice Crystals.’ What the hell was an ice crystal? You know what it was? It was what we fat kids ate. That’s all you needed to know. The other kids drank regular milk…you got skim. There were only two types of milk back then, not 8-10 different forms of it. If you had the skim, it was different. It was watered down milk and you could actually tell the difference with your eyes! You didn’t even have to drink the stuff to know what it was. Foods for the fatties weren’t disguised so that you could be like everyone else. If you were on a ‘diet’ everyone knew. It wasn’t a badge of honor to be ‘dieting.’ It was something you had to do when you were not the same as everyone else, not healthy and not fitting in. If you didn’t fit in, society did not pander to your fat and unhealthy lifestyle, you just had to fix it.

How do I know so well how “living fat” was back then? How can I describe it in such vivid detail? It is because that was my first diet experience. I was eleven years old and in the fifth grade. 1973. You never forget the first one. My doctor prescribed the diet and made my mother the enforcer. She was about 30 lbs overweight at the time too, so I was in great hands. You also never forget how it felt to be different in a bad way. You can always feel the first sting of being slighted in sports or socially because someone looked at you like you were less than everyone else. You will always remember the little girl you had the crush on who would never consider you as someone she would want as a ‘boyfriend.’ No matter how old you get, some things never change.

That first diet taught me a lot of things. Mainly, it taught me that I didn’t like diets. It taught me some great covert tactics on how to sneak food. It also taught me that, as much as being fat made me stick out, being on that diet made me stick out and feel miserable at the same time. I also was not very successful on the diet, so it taught me that diets are painful and don’t work. That isn’t true, but it’s what I took away from the experience.

As I progressed through High School in the late 70’s, I continued to get bigger. In High School, through the teen years, a kid’s biggest desire is social acceptance. If you were a fat kid back then (when the percentage of fat kids was a lot lower than today) you stood out. This was when I first realized that you could be the greatest person in the world on the inside, but how you looked on the outside was the first thing people judged you on. Unlike the attractive kids, who were readily accepted socially, you had to work a lot harder for that acceptance. It took a lot longer because everyone had to learn the ‘you’ on the inside. You might have to be the real smart kid who helped the others or the very funny kid who always cracked the right joke. You might lift weights so that the excess bulge was complimented with enough muscle to make you intimidating. But whatever route you attempted, acceptance would take longer. Another painful reality is that, often, that acceptance did not happen at all. Your friends became the rest of the ‘outcasts.’ Don’t misunderstand me, I know it sounds like I am being cruel and mean to the kids who fell into the group of ‘outcasts.’ I am not. I was one of them. I made some fantastic friends and found out that inner value far outweighed the persona on the outside. Those valuable lessons, however, did not offset the negative feelings of not being accepted. Those feelings were as real as any of my other meaningful discoveries.

It was in my junior year in High School that I developed a big crush on a sophomore girl. I was completely infatuated. As was typical, she found me funny to be around, but not in that boyfriend/girlfriend way. I got the opportunity to take her to a formal dance when she was unexpectedly dateless. We went ‘as friends.’ I hoped she would learn more about the real me and give me a chance. There was no way that fairy tale was going to come true. I was a big, fat, curly haired freak with glasses…who could blame her. One May night in 1979, as I lay sulking in my room and watching television, the movie ‘Rocky’ came on. I hadn’t seen it in the theater and this was its TV debut. I watched this guy who didn’t have a shot make his dreams come true. He worked his butt off to some awesome music and sweat bullets, but he pulled it off. Something changed me that night watching that movie. I looked in the mirror and swore that I was going to make my senior year different from all the past years I had experienced. I was going to change myself into something different. The next day I went out and got the vinyl record soundtrack of the movie. The day after, I began trying to jog in the mornings and watching what I was eating. I would do some warm-ups before I went and play the soundtrack over and over until it rang in my head. I couldn’t jog to save my life. I was dead after 100 yards…and my knees hurt. I was 5 foot 10 inches and weighed 225 lbs. I had a 40 inch waist. I knew nothing about dieting and continued my poor eating habits while exercising. I was miserably trying to eat right…I lost about 5 lbs that month.

As June began, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine who had lost a lot of weight in his sophomore year. I needed to know what he did. My diet was barely working and I was dying due to lack of progress. Rocky needed some help. He told me he had worn a plastic suit and that he would wear thermals under it and sweat the fat out. He said he ate a lot of fruit and drank a lot of water. Great. This was my first dietary plan. Straight from a 17 year old kid. Hey, it worked for him, right? And so my summer began. I got a little help from the girl across the street. She was a year younger than me and we had grown up together. She was also gorgeous and a swimmer/gymnast…in awesome shape. She told me, if it would help, she would run with me when she could. Even though she was like a sister to me, having her running in front of me in shorts and a tank top was like, at that point, dragging a carrot in front of a field horse. No matter how I felt, I plowed on behind her. Pretty soon, we had a good schedule going and we were running 2-3 miles every other day. I was wearing heavy sweatshirts in June, drinking tons of water and eating more fruit than an island boy. One small meal at dinner time was all I allowed myself, and I always ran after I ate it. I didn’t alter that diet for 3 months.

You know what? The weight finally started to drop materially. I started at 220 and went to 210, and then one day at the end of June, 200 pounds. That was a number I hadn’t seen in a long time. It became easier to run. My 3 miles became 5 miles per outing and the weight dropped even more. My neighbor stopped running with me, my pace was pretty fast and I didn’t really need a supporting incentive at that point. By the end of July, I was at about 180 and my Grandfather made a comment to my mother that he had never seen me look so thin and he thought I was dying. On and on I went. I would run in the sun, in the rain, or at 2AM if the feeling hit me. By late August, I was running 10 miles at a pop. I felt awesome. It was almost time to go back to school for my Senior year. My mother suggested contact lenses instead of the glasses. So we went out and got some. It was wild to be able to run in the rain and feel the mist on my eyes for the first time since 4^th grade when I first had to wear glasses. Throughout the summer, I had looked at myself in the mirror every day looking for changes. When you look that closely and that frequently, you can very easily lose track of how much progress you are actually making. I knew from the scale what the numbers were, but that wasn’t translating to what I was seeing in the mirror. The visual difference was not as real to me as the numbers were. There I was, at the end of August…160 lbs.

Then the day occurred when I knew with certainty that my senior year was going to be different. I knew I had reached my goal.

I hadn’t seen any friends all summer. I had dedicated myself 100% to the weight loss. My good friend Mickey called me and asked me if I wanted to go to a movie. That sounded good to me. I went to my room that afternoon and couldn’t find any clothes that fit. I had gone the whole summer in sweatpants and wore my younger and thinner brother’s gym stuff when mine were uncomfortably baggy. I had no real pants or shirts that I could wear. My clothes from the past spring were like wearing huge potato sacks. This was real strange to me. My mother took me to get a pair of jeans and a couple shirts so I would ‘look decent.’ I tried on the jeans, size 38, then 36, 34 and then 32. 32 were the ones that fit. I had dropped 4 sizes from 40 to 32…in three months. I was looking at myself in the mirror, but I still didn’t get it.

Mickey and I got to the movies that night and we waited in line. It was a long corridor and the wall opposite us was mirrored from end to end. As we stood there in the crowd of people, I turned to look in the mirror. I could not see myself. I saw a crowd of people, but where was the fat kid formerly known as ‘me?’ With my new shirt, new jeans and contact lenses, I finally found myself amongst the other people. I stood there shocked. I looked normal. I looked like the rest of them. I looked, dare I say, in better shape than the rest and I was the same size as my thin friend. I also, very immodestly, noticed I was kind of handsome. This is going to sound sad, but I thought I was going to cry.

I will continue my story as the book goes on but suffice to say, here is where the first lesson of this book gets imparted.

The only person that you should be trying to make happy through your improved health and weight loss is YOU.

You are the only one whose opinion counts here. If you are doing this to improve some of the things going on in your life like social acceptance, a better look, etc., that is fine, so long as the driving motivating factor for this effort is your desire for a better personal condition. If you do it for you, then anybody else’s ancillary benefit from your improved health (wife, kids, etc.) will be taken care of. What I did in the summer of 1979, I did for me. I wanted something better for myself and at that point in my life, it was a better social life and acceptance from my peers. It was dates and girlfriends and the fun of being invited to the cool parties that had always gone on without me. As an adult, my motivating factors have changed but one thing has not changed whether it was my first big diet or my last one. I did it for my own happiness and for my own benefit. I did it for me. I selfishly put everything else in my life aside. Nothing trumped the effort. Nothing.

Fat Is Not Acceptable: Intro

2011-12-03T00:19:00.000-05:00

Introduction

This is the last diet book you should ever buy. Why? There are many reasons, but mainly, because this is not a diet book. It is a book on how to become a healthy and fit person. This is not about a diet, it is about a lifestyle choice. There came a moment in my life when I experienced a breaking point and I literally threw a switch in my brain to make a change and chose to live my life in a different way. You have to make that choice too and you have to make it alone. Society and our popular culture will not help you. It is a choice that, unfortunately, is getting harder and harder for everyone to make and maintain. I made the choice because of how I honestly felt about myself. How I felt when I looked into the mirror, or put on my big clothes, or ate until I thought I was going to be sick. I also continue to make that choice every day. I moved my health and my physical condition to the priority position it now occupies in my life and I have never felt this good. I feel better, I look better, my self-esteem is much higher, and I will be able to enjoy this life I have been given for a lot longer than my condition was going to allow. It came down to a choice I made for myself. If this book helps you make that choice for yourself, you will never again need a book on dieting.

Before I write another word, I want to address something…the title. This is not an apology, it is an explanation. I chose this title consciously. It is not meant to be amusing. Every day I see a culture that is increasingly focused on simply sitting in one place and eating. We use food as conversation, food as an accessory, and food as recreation. All references to gluttony aside, it wouldn’t be so bad if it were balanced with exercise. It is not. We are literally drowning in our own fat. We need to stop viewing ‘fat’ as a state of being and start viewing it as a medical condition. I will not sugar coat the word “fat.” We have used that word to describe this condition since we were kids. As our society evolves in its “political correctness” we love to soften these harsh toned words. We find nicer ways to say them. Let me ask you something, “how is that working for you?” This book will focus more on this topic but suffice to say that if you are overweight, obese or morbidly obese, you need to be able to look at yourself honestly in the mirror and say the title of this book to yourself. You need to say these words because, in this politically correct society, people won’t say it to you or anyone else openly (but they will think it). You need to say these words because it may just save your life. Fat is NOT acceptable. Say it to yourself. Say it with conviction. I did. I still say it every day. I can show you how to change your life because I changed my own. This is my story.

Two years ago, after a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and ultimately getting myself to the grand unhealthy weight of 285 pounds, I made a choice to change my lifestyle. It’s easy to read what I am writing and feel my attitude and dismissively say, “He has no idea, he has never been fat.” Oh yes I have. I have been fat my whole life. At certain points along the way, I have also been thin. I know what it is like because I have lived it too…until it was killing me. I did not make a choice to lose weight this time. I chose to put myself in a position where I would look good, feel good, be able to exercise, and, possibly, to extend the duration of my time on this planet. It just so happens that the change I was making also needed weight loss as a part of the formula. My goal couldn’t succeed without it. So I am serious when I say this story is not a diet story and that it is about making a healthy change in your life and lifestyle. There is a difference…and that is primarily why I am writing this book.

Currently, we are in the fattest state that humans have been in at any point on the evolutionary scale. I want to be clear here, I use the word FAT for a reason. I don’t call it “large” or “hefty.” I don’t refer to it as “big boned” or “overweight.” There is a scientific and clinical term for it. It is called fat. I am not into coddling things that are as seriously impairing to your life as are those globules of food storage cells exploding under your skin. Let’s deal with it honestly, fat is killing us. For all the gyms, sports programs, athletic equipment stores and sneaker companies, we are growing fat and unhealthy at a frightening pace. As a nation, since 1970, the United States has doubled the percentage of obese people from 15% to 30% with 8 states at rates of 35% or greater. All this has occurred in a period of only 40 years.

Stop for a moment and simply look around you. Think of yourself as a referee and go to a shopping mall and look at the people. Play judge. It doesn’t feel nice. In fact, it feels kind of nasty. But just do it. Look at everyone and ask yourself this question, “are they fat or thin?” You don’t need a special measuring tool. Your eyes and your judgment will suffice. Keep count. It may shock you because we are all so accepting today of something that has become the norm. In all honesty, our condition is easy to miss. Here is why. I once read, “If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will leap out instantly. But if you put a frog in water at room temperature, and slowly bring it to a boil, the frog will cook without realizing it.” That is where we are right now. Fat is built into the fabric of our culture in such a way that we are unconsciously “cooking” and not even recognizing it until something drastic happens and it slaps us in the face. Take a good long look at the people around you and count the overweight ones. The percentage that you count is scary. You will note that what you call overweight is greater than 65% of the people. That is 6-7 out of every 10. As noted in a November 2009 American Health report on obesity, the percentage of people who are obese, classified by a Body Fat Percentage greater than 30%, is 27% of the people. More than 2 out of every 10 people you will meet are clinically obese. Take a real hard look around you. Then look at yourself and make an honest assessment.

Our cultural love affair of food and leisure is not going to change any time soon. Our society’s need to be “politically correct” is not going to change either. We are killing ourselves with our eating habits and it is not even socially acceptable anymore to be critical of that fact because it is “inappropriate” to judge the evidence. That evidence, of course, is the fat people all over our society. If you want a healthy life, YOU are going to have to change. This is something you have to do for yourself and that you may have to do with very little support from those around you. To do this, you need to be angry and fed up. You need to look at those around you, do the assessment, and then take a good long honest look at yourself in the mirror. You need to be angry with yourself. Once you have decided that you are not going to be one of the literal masses, you will have to change forever how you look at three things. You need to address how you eat, the physical machine you own that processes that food, and the level of physical activity in your life. That’s it. If you can understand and control those three things, you can change the quality of your life.

This book will cover how to think about what you eat. The word ‘diet’ has been severely misused in our culture. ‘Diet’ is not a verb. At least, it didn’t start that way. ‘Dieting’ is not something you do, like ‘talking’ or ‘working.’ ‘Diet’ is/was a noun. Your ‘diet’ is the food you eat daily to maintain your physical state of being. It is not a special word that, if employed in your life, results in the effect of weight-loss. ‘Diet’ is also not a special list of foods that you eat so that you can lose weight. There is no list. Companies who are desperate to make money and sell you their food products and weight loss programs made that up. Your diet is what you eat. What YOU eat. Period.

“Ooh, you lost so much weight! You look fabulous! What diet were you on?” If you answer this question properly, you should say, “I was eating X, Y and Z.” The answer to this question is not ‘South Beach’ or ‘Weight Watchers’ or ‘Atkins.’ Here is why. If someone came up to you and said, “Holy cow, you have really ballooned up, you’re huge! What diet were you on?” The answer wouldn’t be named after a place, a process, or anyone special. The answer should honestly be something like, “I was on the sleeve of Oreo’s, Ben and Jerry’s, sit on my ass all day diet.” Doesn’t have quite the same sexy ring as calling it the ‘Behemoth Diet’ or the ‘Big Alaskan Diet’ does it? The diets are all named for only one reason, so you can tell them apart and know which one to link back to the ad or infomercial you saw it on. Once you know the name, then you can buy their product. That is the only reason to put a name on a list of products that people will put in their bodies. Incidentally, when you are done reading this book and I have given you some pointers on what to eat, don’t refer to it as ‘Dick’s Diet’ or something equally lame. I would consider it embarrassing in the same way as one would consider naming something like ‘breathing’ with a special label. We all breath and we all should be eating like reasonable human beings. I just want to share with you what I have learned about doing it right. This book will attempt to change the way you look at the food you eat.

This book will cover exercise. We will go over the steps you need to take to view your life as one that requires activity to maintain your health and quality of life. Especially in your older years, this is critical. In your younger years, you should be building a lifestyle of activity so you can have those good habits all formed when ‘old age’ comes knocking on your door. It comes fast and, if you are in your young teens, twenty’s or thirty’s, is looming just around the corner. Make it a habit now.

Exercise is the toughest part of being a healthy person. Everyone can cut down on their food intake with very little effort. It does take will power to sit there while others are engorging themselves, but not a lot of work. It actually takes less time to NOT eat than it takes to eat. Exercise is a very different animal. It takes commitment. It takes time. You have to…gasp…sweat! Is it really necessary? Is it…really? Yes. No weight loss process has ever been successful without exercise. People who successfully lose weight exercise and exercise with frequency. Ever watch “The Biggest Loser” on TV? What do you see most on that show? It’s about losing weight, so why don’t they focus just on eating right and dieting? They don’t do that because eliminating food does not work without exercise. You also can’t do 40 minutes of television programming on NOT eating! When I watch that show it looks like they have those people exercising 24/7. It takes up almost 75% of the show! You need to exercise. Here is another factoid you will love. Once you lose the weight, if you stop living an active lifestyle, the weight comes back most of the time and much faster than it came off. That is why we will talk about making it a part of your life. Everyone should have a lifestyle of activity that matches their eating habits.

Many companies and corporations have spent a lot of money trying to convince you that being a healthy size is very complicated. They want you to know that their solution is THE one. They alone have solved this complicated riddle, especially for you. Of course they have. That is how they differentiate themselves from each other and make money. The fact of the matter is that achieving good health (in both your size and physical condition) is incredibly simple. It is hard and requires discipline, no doubt, but it is also very simple. I had to change how I look at my life. I had to change my priorities. This all happened over a four month period and has been hardened over the last two years. You can do this, you really can. I can be a sarcastic and brutally honest S.O.B. but I can also say with conviction that I believe all of you, if you can find the drive, can do this.

Lastly, who do I think I am? Who am I to be writing such a book and proselytizing on weight-loss? I am Dick St.Jacques, WD. What is the “WD?” It stands for Doctorate of Weight-Loss. Honorary. Actors, politicians, business people all get them from colleges and universities for a lifetime of experience in a particular field. I have 45 years of experience gaining weight, losing weight and ultimately culminating in a change in my lifestyle that will support long term health. I am ready to impart my wisdom upon you. For these reasons, I am bequeathing the degree upon myself…and Dr. Dick says, “Fat is NOT acceptable.”

Diet Infomercials Suck

2010-08-08T11:07:00.014-04:00

I want to try to sound educated, I really do. But I was at the gym yesterday morning, a Saturday, and as I did my 10K run on the treadmill in front of 12 ceiling TV panels, the infomercials marched on before my eyes. Saturday morning must be prime sales time for these companies, and weight loss must account for 25% of them. As I worked myself into a massive sweat burning over 1100 calories and watched these TV spots, there was the only way I could express myself..."Diet Infomercials Suck."

I was stuck watching this one called "Zumba!" I pick on this one not because I hate it in particular, it just happened to be the one I had in front of my face. "Zumba" (pronounced Zoomba) is weight loss by dance. It is a cardiovascular exercise that will miraculously have you effortlessly losing massive amounts of weight. You will look sexy, fit into your clothes, burn fat and sculpt your abs into 'model looking' shape. By the sales pitch, this infomercial is targeting women.

At this point in my life, after 38 years of yo-yo dieting and two years after losing 85 pounds and keeping it off, I think I know something about weight loss. I know about the discipline of developing a meal plan and making good choices, the rigor of exercise that it takes to lose weight and the lifestyle of exercise to keep it off, and I know the emotional triggers that will get you to make the right choices. That said, this infomercial was so full of crap it had my complete attention. I will never buy their product, but if their intent was to get me to watch, it at least did that.

The first thing that struck me was that there was not one overweight or obese woman (and again, not being sexist, that was their target audience) dancing on the infomercial. These women had toned dancer bodies and probably half or more of them have never been overweight in their life from my observation. I know what an obese woman looks like after weight loss and THAT was not it. After they have lost 50-100 lbs, large women look like you just took the air out of a basketball. They do NOT look like Julianne Hough of 'Dancing with the Stars.' The goal of this commercial monstrosity is that YOU will do Zumba and untimately look like THEM. That was the first big lie because to look like these people on the infomercial takes a concious diet plan and a life that centers around 'how you look.' These women work out at gyms in Beverly Hills with trainers and eat salads all day long looking to get a modeling gig or, gasp! a spot on an infomercial! Most of the people who are overweight today do not have that type of mentality...but they do have the desire to look like those ladies on the TV.

The second thing that struck me was that no one was sweating. This is exercise right? No one is sweating and every person is smiling? Remember Mr. Roark from that 70's TV show? "Smiles everyone...Welcome to Fantasy Island!" The infomercial said you could burn up to 1000 calories per hour doing Zumba. Sure you can. If you do it with effort and if you do it for an hour. Let me tell you something about exercising enough to burn 1000 calories per hour. Back in the real world, as the infomercial played, I looked over at a woman who had got onto the treadmill the same time as I did. I was running at 7.5 mph and had been going for 25 minutes straight. I had burned about 550 calories. She was walking at 3 mph and had been walking for 25 minutes too. She had burned just under 100 calories. You can wipe out that 100 calories by eating 1.5 apples. Why had she only burned 100 calories? Because 3mph is pretty much an easy stroll. Because EXERcise takes EXERtion...and EXERtion equals SWEAT. The woman next to me, while showing a very admirable desire to exercise, was not working hard. To Zumba enough to burn 1000 calories would mean that these pretty, eye-lined, body make-up laden models with their designer exercise clothes would be moving their fannies long after this 30 minute infomercial was over and their make-up would be running into the audience. Which makes one think...who the hell works out to an audience? No one cheers me on at Planet Fitness!...and practically no one is smiling.

This brings me to my third observation. Time. This infomercial did show some overweight women...in their before and after shots. Here is the sequence I watched. Overweight Mabel, followed by trim Mabel, followed by sexy girl doing Zumba. Where did Mabel go? Did she have a heart attack doing Zumba? My point here is that they show examples of people with 50-100 lbs of weight loss and they do it by showing you picture A, picture B and then the dancer. First of all, the time it takes to get from Picture A to Picture B, especially to a dieter losing over 50 lbs is like an eternity. I was on a 900 calorie per day (medically supervised) diet and exercised for 45 minutes every day. 50 lbs took me two and a half months. It wasn't instant and it wasn't easy. This presentation took you from fat to thin in an instant. And it's easy. And fun. And miraculous. These dancers on the video are moving, at most, for about 45 seconds. That burns about 30 calories at maximum intensity. Can you Zumba for 20 seconds if you are overweight? Sure. Can you for 45 seconds? How about 45 minutes? Per day? For 4-6 months?

How does their product sound now?

Here is what the infomercial isn't telling you.

1) Weight loss for an overweight or obese person is difficult and takes a long time. It requires a lifestyle change and commitment. You can't lose that weight by dancing for three minutes.

2) To look like those dancers requires a life that has, as it's goal, to look like those dancers. Their lives revolove around how they look. Not their families, their jobs or their problems. Those dancers' biggest problem is how to lose that last ounce of cellulite. Does that feel like YOUR life?

3) As fun as dancing is, it is not a lifestyle change that will be long lasting. Figure out an exercise plan and an eating plan that fits you and commit to it.

Losing big weight and keeping it off is not easy. It is not a lot of fun. It requires choices, concious ones. It requires owning your life. You can do it. If you do, you will feel better than you ever have in your life. You will have better self-esteem, better health and you will live longer than your current timetable is predicting. I promise.

I found this on YouTube...the real Zumba for the overweight. This won't sell their product like their infomercial but it is real. If you are fighting and winning the weight-loss battle, my best to you. Don't let these infomercials get you down. I applaud your hard work and dedication.

Today I Was "Pete Breslin"

2010-07-05T23:50:00.009-04:00

When I graduated High School, my friends and I spent a lot of time at the local park. We would work whatever jobs we could find, go home and eat dinner, and then around 6:30-7:00 we would meet at the park on the basketball courts. There was a bunch of us who were between 18 and 22, and even some old guys who were in their mid to late 20's...and then there was Pete Breslin. I may have been the only one playing who actually knew his name. He was a very close friend of my father and was best man at my parents' wedding. He was also, at that time, about 43-44 years old.

The rest of us showed up in our 80's haircuts and our leather hightops. Pete would be there in his crewcut and what resembled the Chuck Taylor canvas Converse sneakers (when they were not fashionable). He was not real tall but he was a real solid guy with a lot of energy. I don't know how often he was picked first to play, but he wasn't picked last by those who knew him. He certainly got picked before I did. He was well respected by all of us because he never slowed down, was always passing, and he would score on you with ease if you let your guard down. The one thing you never got from him was a break. He played you hard. The only thing you could forget, if you wanted to beat him, was his age. Forget that. He did. He played like he was 20. If you were going to have a chance, check your ego and his age at the door.

The group that played in the pick-up games was pretty much the same group all the time. We all knew each other. Every so often though, some guy no one knew would show up. Usually it was a pretty good player who was just stopping in to sharpen up. One thing though never failed. They always thought they had one up on Pete. It was the age thing. Their ego's couldn't take it. I even saw one guy shove Pete in anger once and Pete didn't give an inch. He didn't say anything, but he stayed right in the guy's face. I can remember going home and telling my dad and he snickered and said, "they better not mess with him, he works out all the time and is in better shape than most of them, and if they think he's a pushover, they will be surprised."

And my dad was right.

So there I found myself today, the 4th of July, playing a game of something called Speedball with the 16-24 year old set of nieces and nephews. My son Nick, aged 13, also played. Most of these kids were high school and college aged. They all laughed and asked me if I wanted to play. I thought about it for a short second and smiled to myself, "sure, I'm in this one." I will confess, I needed Speedball explained to me, so I got a briefing on the rules. They picked Captains and began to choose sides. The college aged boys were picked first, then the 16 year old boys. It was about this time my nephew Matt was saying, "take Dick!" Nothing. Then the college girls were picked. Right before the youngest kids were chosen, I was picked. Matt was laughing and mumbling, "..a sleeper pick in 8th round!"

Now, I run probably 15-20 miles a week depending on my time availability. I am 85 pounds lighter than the last time I did anything physical with these kids...and that was about two years ago. I will tell you this, I was ready to go.

I am not going to go through a play by play here. The game is played like a combination of soccer, and lacrosse only you carry and pass the ball with your hands, not a stick. The nets are tiny because you can throw the ball in to score. The game was split into two halfs, each consisting of about 45 minutes of straight running. The ball was being passed and kicked. I played hard, scored more than my share of goals, and I made all those kids forget my age. I was jumping, throwing, diving, and at the end, I scored the winning goal. I know the kids were kind of amazed and surprised at my ability to play well and beat the big kids. More surprised were my relatives who are my own age, and who know really how much it takes to be able to go at that physical pace for that long. One guy even said, "well...I guess YOU'RE in real good shape these days!"

The coolest thing of all though, was that my 13 year old son played a real tough game against kids a lot bigger and a lot older than him. I saw him take a kicked soccer ball in the face from point blank range and get up, and later, he took a hard body hit from a college age guy while passing me the ball for a goal. He showed a lot of guts and it was a great thrill and proud moment to be able to play with him. I felt like I was watching him mature in front of me. I was playing two levels down and he was playing two levels up.

Today wasn't about showing everyone else that I could do it. It was about transcending age for a moment. It was about showing myself that I could do it. I have worked real hard to get back into the condition I am currently in. I want to enjoy being able to run, play and compete, at any age. I always enjoyed it in the past and I don't like thinking that Father Time can take that from me. When we were done, everyone had sweat through their clothes. There were bumps and bruises, sore muscles and just plain exhaustion. My nephew Chris had brought a huge 20-something friend to the family party, he was also named Nick, like my son. He looked at me and said, "good game out there man, I haven't worked out this hard since college, I feel old." I said, "old? I'm 48 buddy, that's old." He laughed and said, "yeah, that IS old!"

Not today though. Not today. Today I was "Pete Breslin."

Next: Dealing with reality

Now 'Fat' is a contest?

2010-06-17T21:44:00.004-04:00

This is the title of the article…”Woman wants to be world’s fattest.”

I don’t even know what I am supposed to think of this. I know what I DO think. Should I share? My vote is yes. You can read along if you want to.

Is this what we have devolved to as a culture? We are finally going to celebrate being fat? No, correct that. We actually already do celebrate BEING fat. Just look around, we are swimming in it. I went to a concert at a Casino a couple weeks ago. The ‘70% of us are overweight’ statistic may actually be too low! But, are we finally going to start setting the goal as ‘getting fat?’ This is an accomplishment right? I always thought that we should be striving to do the extraordinary, the difficult or the challenging. This is like setting the high jump pole at 6 inches and hopping back and forth in the hope that someone will hang a gold medal on you.

Is there anyone who has to put effort into getting fat in the U.S. of A.? Is it really that hard? Not when I look around me every day. This ‘sport’ doesn’t need any more participants, casual or professional. It is replacing baseball as our national pastime. Food, food, and more food. All food, all the time. Can’t have one stinking event without food or snacks. Isn’t trying to be the best at getting fat, at this point, just redundant?

So what is the gist of this article that has me disturbed?

In New Jersey, Donna Simpson, 42 year old mother of two children aged 3 and 14, is trying to increase her body weight from 600 to over 1000 lbs. Breaking down the 1000 lbs, she literally is trying to weigh as much as one mother and about twelve 70 lb kids. At what point does our government, the one that thinks it should have a hand in everything, step in to do something?

First, this woman is psychologically unstable. How do I know this? Because she is knowingly doing something detrimental to herself and to those around her. She is also trying to rationalize doing it. That is a pretty good definition for the condition. She says she is doing this for a book deal and a reality show. Apparently, someone somewhere is willing to put this on TV. What is next? Televising creative suicides? How about Pay-Per-View for criminal executions? We could pay off all the expenses of Obama’s ‘stimulus’ packages.

Second, she is endangering her children. She won’t be able to properly care for them. They will actually be taking care of her when she can’t get out of bed. Also, she is setting a terrible example of health for them. She is going to expose them to ridicule from their friends and anyone else that has eyes. Lastly, if no one has mentioned this, she could accidentally eat them.

Lastly, she is doing something for which we, through our group medical insurance coverage plans, will ultimately become financially obligated to take care of. Smokers bother me for the same reason, but I will save that for another day. We will all ultimately pay the tab for her morbid obesity. Also, God forbid, when this celebrated ‘competition’ draws other fans and participants, we will have to pay for them too.

Why isn’t my government protecting me from these people?

I don’t want to impinge on anyone’s personal freedoms. But when their choices impinge on MY personal freedoms and my wallet, I wave the checkered flag. You are done. Or I am done. Or both. We are way overdue for some kind of health insurance guideline that has these kinds of people paying their freight (a word which is actually a combination of two words, freaking and weight). If they are going to be this obese, super obese and morbidly obese, they should pay extra for their health insurance so we who are not grand can pay less. I have worked really hard to get myself into a physical condition that will make me happy and improve the quality of my life. I will not pay additionally for those whose goal it is to do exactly the opposite.

If they do not HAVE health insurance, we should apply a fat tax. They would have to get on a scale at the grocery store, or fast food stores, and based on their BMI (body mass index) be taxed extra. The woman in this article would only be able to buy about 10 grapes…at about $25 each. They should also have to pay for two seats on an airplane and at baseball stadiums if they need two seats. You are responsible for your own big ass.

No coddling. No enabling. If they want to live this way…they have to make sure the rest of us don’t have to pay for their lunacy and suicidal tendencies.

So why am I so mad? Here is why. It is simple math. If 70% plus of our country is overweight and expanding (both individually and statistically), then my opinion is a part of the minority. If any of you know anything about politics, that means that we health conscious folks will be at the mercy of the large. We have as much a shot at getting equity in this situation as an oily seagull in Louisiana does of finding a clean ocean.

My goal is to get up every day. To breathe. To smile. To work. To take care of my kids. And to do it without relying on the rest of you to make it happen.

Her goal is to be so fat that she is useless to society. Swell. Let’s celebrate that.

Next: Young again!

My Year Being Thin: Judgement

2009-11-14T01:19:00.001-05:00

We judge.

I know. We hear it all of our lives.

"You can't judge."
"You shouldn't judge people."
"Who are you to pass judgement?"

We are all human. It is in our nature to judge. No matter what you have been told, our own survival, according to Darwin, is based on choices that help us navigate our way through life. Those choices are made based on judgements we make. Our survival, which is based on thousands years of evolution, is predicated on the basic rule that we do not have the time necessary in life to assess every person we meet and make an educated judgement on them. We do not have time to know their motives, their ethics, or their deepest fears and neurosis. We have to make our judgements quickly. In some cases, cases of self preservation, very quickly. This means we are going to judge people first and foremost by that which is most obvious to us...their appearance.

So we judge. Now comes the painful part of this. We are going to BE judged. That's right. When we look at others and make those choices about them, they are doing the same thing.

"Why are they judging me? What did I ever do to them...?", you say. It gives one perspective doesn't it?

It is a cruel reality that the first judgement a person makes will be on your appearance. The second judgement will be on your behavior. The last judgement only occurs after significant exposure to you. That is the only way someone can get to know the real person inside your shell. So 90% of the people are going to judge you based on your appearance. If you are fat, and I know this from experience, that can be uncomfortable. For some, it can be downright frightening.

Most of you reading this are trying to be thinner. You are trying to lose weight and the goal for most of you is to look and feel better. Some of you remember what it felt like to be thinner. Some of you don't. Some of you have no idea how it will feel to be thin because you have truly never been there. Deep down, we all know we are being judged on our looks first. We learn that at a very early age.

So keep 'judgement' in mind when I tell you one of the big lessons about losing weight that you will experience in year one.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE PERCEIVED DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A THIN PERSON.

I don't mean they will look and think about you being thin. They won't. I mean the perception of who you are as a person, now that you are thin, will be different than it has been in the past. I also don't mean just a little differently. I mean a lot differently. The bigger you were, the more radical the experience will be for you. I also do not mean to imply that 'different' means they will see you as thin versus fat. People are not just going to look at you and see a thin, or thinner, person. They are going to assess you differently, react to you differently, and ultimately make judgements about you that are different than what you have experienced.

Here is something you should know. Looking and feeling great is an advantage. It is an advantage socially. It is an advantage professionally. It is a success tool that can give you a definite edge. That part you probably know. Now, the strange part, and the part you sometimes can only learn by moving back and forth along the appearance continuum, is that looking and feeling better than you look right now is not something everybody wants for you. That's right. Not everyone is going to be happy with your new found thinness.

As I said before, we judge. Life is a competition. We look at people and judge because we want to know our chances. We all do it as a natural reaction.

"Can I compete or not?"

Making a dramatic change in your appearance will change the competitive assessment. If you are a woman and your girlfriends have always seen you as a jolly fat pal, they have not had you on their radar as competition. Now they do. Expect that they will first be excited for you about your weight loss, then the catty remarks may begin. This doesn't always happen...there are good people and friends out there. But you can expect levels of this within social circles.

If you are a man, and you have a strong presence at the office, expect similar experiences. If your personality is strong and you are well spoken, but you also are a very large jolly guy, you will find that being thinner suddenly means that the funny remarks that everyone used to laugh at are seen as biting sarcasm. This happens when you transform from being a jolly colleague to a professional on-the-job competitor.

I mention that first because it is the opposite of what you probably thought would happen. Everyone should love the new thin you, right? Welcome to reality.

There are many benefits as well, particularly if you are always meeting new people professionally or socially. People will assess you differently right from the first meeting. That first impression will be distinctly different and create different opinions about you, even if the opinions are not valid. Perception is all too often the reality for people. I will use myself as an example. I have changed jobs 3 times since 1997. I have, however, applied for new positions more than ten times in that same period. EVERY time I was hired, I was thin. I NEVER got the job when I was fat. Don't say it...'that's discrimination.' Again, welcome to reality. How you take care of yourself, if you are two small clicks from being obese, typically will tell people about your feelings about yourself, your discipline, your judgement, etc. They leap from that to the first opinion about you. They do not make the same excuses for you that you make for yourself. They don't have time.

So you have it. Judgement. Perception. Your year is going to be very different. Not all good but certainly more good than when you were a large person. It is going to be fun if you approach it with an open mind and allow people to react the way they need to. You can change you, but you will never change them. Some will support you, some will wish you were 'you' again.

Be happy where you are when you get to thinness. As Harry Chapin would say, 'it is a better place to be.'

Congratulations.

Next: Your new outlook and coping with everyone else

One Year Later: Goal Achieved

2009-11-08T11:07:00.004-05:00

The behavior specialist looked curiously at me and said, "What's your goal?"

"My goal is to get the weight off and, this time, to keep it off."

"No...what is your goal? How much do you want to lose?"

"I don't care. Pick a number for me. YOU tell me what I am supposed to weigh and I will hit it. My goal is to get the weight off and keep it off."

I wasn't playing around. I didn't know why she couldn't get my point. I was not a rookie to weight loss. I had been a yo-yo dieter since I was 10 years old. I was now 46. 36 years of this crap had me at 286 lbs. I wanted to make a change and I wanted it permanently. I also knew, from experience, that once the weight was lost, the hardest part lie in front of me.

When I finished the diet around November 6th of last year, I weighed 205. I stepped on the scale yesterday. 200 lbs. It has been a year and I am 5 lbs lighter. One year later I have achieved my goal.

It has been a while since I posted to the diet blog. I am going to celebrate my one year anniversary by addressing the challenges along the way.

Dieting is hard for almost everyone. The optifast diet made the dieting part easy for me. 900 calories per day of a rigid eating regimen coupled with 2.6 miles per day of brisk walking to create exertion resulted in about 80-85 lbs lost. Approached this way, it was a very fast process. Many people on this diet, however, do not exercise or do not follow the strict eating guidelines. When they do this, the diet takes a long time. It puts the optifast dieter into the same category as all other dieters. It makes you feel like dieting is your life. That is because, when you lose weight that way, it takes a long time and it IS your life. That is why so many people fail on diets. When it becomes your life it hangs over you like a shadow. You wonder every single day if you will ever be able to wake up in the morning and not think about the diet.

If you think that is hard, I have some bad news for you. When you finally reach that goal of losing all the weight you wanted to lose, that is precisely how you will live the rest of your life.

I know. That sounds incredibly demoralizing. It shouldn't. The one thing that makes getting thin and staying thin different is being able to see yourself thin (the fruits of your labor) and knowing that you never want to go back to what you were. When I get on that scale each morning (and I weigh myself EVERY day) and see myself in the mirror, I smile. When I pull on my pants and see the "Size 36" waist marker (remembering that it was 42 last year), I smile again. When I sit in my car and see the loose piece of plastic under my seat that broke last year because I was massive, I smile again. You know, I purposely didn't fix it because it makes me smile when I see it. Seeing what you have become makes the discipline easier than getting up every morning, looking in the mirror, and sadly thinking you will never get there and that you are suffering. That is the difference.

If you are still trying to achieve that critical first step of just losing the weight, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You WILL be able to look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see. Once you do that, it makes the discipline easier than what you are going through to complete that first step.

Believe it or not, many thin people think about what they eat every day. It is how they manage to stay thin. They have, however, become so regular about it that it doesn't seem like they are thinking about it at all. That is the trick. That is the trick right there. People who you know as thin regulate themselves as a normal course of action. Whether from good eating habits, an active life style or some built in neurosis from strange parenting, they are doing it reflexively. THAT is one of the tricks to keeping the weight off. The way you think about your eating has to first become concious and then it has to become unconcious. Once that happens, you will NOT think about the diet every day. Your body and its eating habits will be on autopilot.

This is the first trick to keeping the weight off. You have to find a way to build into your psyche the same thought processes that are in the thin people. I believe I have successfully done that. I do not eat reflexively anymore...but I also do not make my eating choices by over-thinking it. I plan my meals each day and I plan my exercise and I stick to it. Planning meals sounds hard. It isn't. What that means is that I know what I am going to eat everyday. I know if I go out to lunch that I am going to stick to roughly the same healthy choices. I have built into my head a rough idea of how many calories I am taking in when I eat and I am keeping a running ticker. My breakfast is the same every day. My snacks come to work with me in a bag. Granola and berries for mid morning. Nut mix for the afternoon or a protein bar. If lunch seems to be overdone, I will make sure I lighten the load for dinner. It has become reflexive. So much so that when I watch other people eat meals, I do the math and figure they won't need to eat for the next two days.

I also exercise regularly. Some would say I over-exercise. When I count the calories, I also know how much I burn when I exercise. Exercising makes me feel like I can have small indulgences. Sometimes they are medium to large indulgences. I now jog/run about 25 miles per week. At age 47, I ran my first 5K road race last Saturday. I ran it in 24:08. For my age bracket of 45-49 years old, that is supposed to be an excellent time. I surprised a lot of people with the time, I surprised myself. Pleasantly.

So I am going to blog this week about the challenges of keeping the weight off. Many things like (a) disruptions to the routine, (b) alcohol, (c) visiting old habits, and (d) finally burning the old BIG clothes. Glad to be back for a while. Stay focused and keep the faith, it will work out for you.

Next: Your new life and how people treat you

You CAN Vacation and Maintain

2009-07-28T23:18:00.006-04:00

What's required here is a success story. The family took a vacation to the Florida Keys. I know, Florida in July sounds lovely. Have any of you looked at the New England weather this summer? I am using the term Summer loosely here. There has been one day of temps over 90 degrees. That is unheard of. Typically, we have 8 days, on average, over 90 degrees. So the deal here is that we have had no Summer. So as a family, we went searching for it. It was hot. There were a few days where the temps hit the low 90's and felt like the low 100's. I have to say this...and this is something for all of you trying to lose weight...the heat was not too bad at all. My family dragged along and I just trotted on my merry way. This is the first time in 25 years that I have been this thin and in the heat. It didn't bother me in the least. I felt awesome. That is the first positive effect of weight loss.

Now we were in the Keys on vacation. I expected to come home and be overweight. I expected to have to spend some time cranking down the poundage. Not at all. I didn't gain a pound. The heat and all the moving around must have had a contribution. If you factor in all the beer and Sangria calories, I should be a moose. Not the case at all.

One other thing...I got a skin issue the week before the trip. The docs put me on prednisone to clear it up. The major side effect from that steroid is weight gain. Nada.

I couldn't be happier. I kayak'd with the kids, walked miles, and just had a hell of a time in the heat and didn't care. This is what weight loss and regaining your life will do for you.

Sayonara. Dick.

Next: One Year Later

Thin Living

2009-06-30T22:12:00.007-04:00

By October of 2008, I hit the end of my diet. I weighed between 204 and 207, depending on the day. Keeping the weight off is now the battle. I live on the scale, constantly keeping myself between the numbers. My decision is to be no higher than 207. It isn’t an easy thing, particularly in the summer when the family get-togethers seem to increase geometrically. Vacations are tough. Hot days make exercise a chore. But you have to push through.

I had an interesting dilemma and it has impacted the diet the last couple of weeks. I was kayaking on a river in New Hampshire and the kayak capsized. As I was body surfing the rapids in 50 degree water, I must have hit my knee hard on a rock. I was ok for about a day, until the pain kicked in. The cold (or the beer we were drinking all weekend) kept me from truly understanding the extent of the damage. Suffice it to say I have not been able to walk well or run at all. If you have been following this blog, you know that I have stressed that diet and exercise have to go hand-in-hand with a life that is going to include ‘thinness.’ Going two weeks without exercise was worse than the soreness in my leg.

I cut down on my food intake. I was hoping the injury would be short lived. I was real conscious of the number on the scale. It hovered around 206-207 for the whole time. Then at the end of the two weeks…disaster.

My boss decided that we needed a morale boost and we threw a barbeque at work during Friday lunch for about 2 hours. I ate a lot more than I should have. Lots of carbs. Carbs go in easy, taste great, and absorb water in your body. This makes the weight go on and if you don’t exercise, it stays on. Normally, I would have gone home and exercised. I couldn’t and didn’t. Also, because I hadn’t exercised in two weeks, my metabolism had to be going real slow. Those calories just got absorbed right into my system. I had a salad on Friday night, and a few beers.

The next day, worse than a barbeque, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law invited me to go to the Jimmy Buffet concert in Mansfield, MA. Ever been to one of these? It is not so much a concert as it is a food and alcohol driven block-party with a tiny concert jammed in at the end. Food. Drink. Food. Drink. Food. Food. Drink. Drink. Drink. 12 noon to 10:30PM at night. Sunday morning around noon I hopped on the scale.

213. Ouch. Big Ouch. I haven’t been North of 209 since last October.

So. What to do? No cheating. No booze. Exercise. Daily. Get the weight back to where it is supposed to be.

Sunday night, 3 miles on the treadmill on the bad knee. It actually didn't feel bad. Apparently if I don't twist on it and stay in a forward motion, I am OK. Monday morning, 211. Monday night, 4 miles on the treadmill. Again, the knee is fine. Tuesday morning, 209. Tonight, mowed the lawn with push mower, 3 miles on the treadmill. Scale says 207 tonight...it WILL be less tomorrow.

I am going to keep going this way for the rest of the week. I have to get back to the range...there is no other option. Wish me luck...will keep you updated.

Next: Your new life...don't let vacation mess you up.

Portion Control or "Stop Eating Like a Pig"

2009-05-21T00:02:00.007-04:00

I love this topic. Portion control. This is what people talk about when they get tired of telling you about the foods you SHOULD be eating versus what you actually ARE eating. They get worn out telling you to eat more protein, eat less carbs and eat even less fat...and exercise. They realize that it just isn't working. You don't care. You don't even care if they have a top-secret, FDA not yet approved, super diet drug. They just know that you will rationalize over and over and will convince yourself that you can just make slight modifications to your abysmally terrible diet and "lose giant amounts of weight." So when they tire of telling you that, they throw in the towel and just say, "I'm exhausted...the hell with it, just eat less."

Portion control really hit its feverish heights when the documentary "Super Size Me" came out. This documentary followed a guy who ate nothing but super sized McDonalds for about 3 months. He damn near died. Literally. He was eating 5000 calories a day just at a McDonalds. It was so bad for McDonald's that they had to issue a formal statement through Public Relations to address it. They had to get rid of their Super Size Coke and just have the large size Coke. They had to start talking about 'healthy meals.'

When you have to discuss portion control in terms of how restaurants (fast food in particular) are feeding us...you have gone totally around the bend. You are gone. I think that sometimes the newswriters believe that if they don't show the extreme, it will be a meaningless discussion. So they tell you the worst possible story. It's like the 'Scared Straight' documentary that was designed to keep High School kids out of jail. Do you really have to make the leap from the fear of being arrested to the fear of having 450 lb. Bubba as a cellmate who thinks you are his girlfriend? Does this need to happen to convince you that a life of crime is a bad idea? Apparently, the same people developed the idea for 'Super Size Me.' "Wow, how about we paint the worst possible picture and see how they react?"

We covered portion control in our Diet Class at Miriam Hospital. Our portion control classes dealt with how to look at the meals you eat at home and make sure that you eat the portion that you have (or the dietician has..) calculated that you SHOULD be eating at this meal. It is about eating as "Fuel" and not "Entertainment." It is about eating the amount of food that gives you real satiety. It is about NOT eating as though your next commercial gig will be with Sally Struthers in Africa.

McDonalds? If you are watching your weight, here is my solution. Stay out of stinking McDonalds....and Burger King, and Wendy's and Taco Bell, and any other fast food, fried feast, fat injected family restaurant. You know which ones they are. Don't walk in the door. It is not about eating their regular meals and avoiding their 'Super Size Me' policy. It is about the fact that their 'food' is some of the most fatty and vile stuff on earth. It merits no place on your personal food list.

Do you want to know why? McDonalds wants to tell you that they have a small Coke with only 150 calories. Drink this. Drink this now. It is so much better for you than the 42 ounce, 410 calorie soda they USED to have on the menu. In fact, they are so smart now, they reduced the large size to ONLY 32 ounces. You can buy a 32 ounce Coke at McDonalds. And do WHAT with it? Put out a California wildfire? That is a QUART of Soda. Half of a two liter bottle roughly. There is only 12 ounces in a CAN of soda...and when you drink THAT it feels like a lot. But let's drink a quart. What's next, the 55 Gallon drum? And how many calories in the large 32 oz. Coke? 300. Oh yeah...for a beverage. DRINK THE WATER! Get it for free from that little space in the middle of the Soda dispenser...or but the bottled. It has zero calories.

Fries? Little deep fried sticks of lard. "Can I get a mailbag full of those please?"

"How big is BIG...cause I want to get my moneys worth."

What do the Portion Controllers tell you? They have many idea's on how to use Portion Control to your fat advantage.

(1) Just eat half. Thanks. How about 'Close your mouth?' I get the 'eat less' paradigm.
(2) Avoid buffets. Really? The last time I checked, the buffet charged about $20-$50 depending on the venue. The whole idea of this centers around trying to eat more than you actually spend...and you just spent a lot. Good luck.
(3) Resist upsizing. Enough said.
(4) Eat a child's meal. Wow. I can't believe Einstein is dead. I thought he was alive and doing diet research.
(5) Put your left-overs in opaque containers. You know what they say..."out of sight, out of mind." And I guess, if you have forgotten what you ate last night, you are out of your mind...for real. You might have bigger problems than your weight if you have to trick yourself.

Ok, it's all about just eating less. Your diet should also be about eating less of the right foods. Here is what portion control is all about...for each meal, there is a limited amount that a rational human being should be eating. To measure it, use this chart (courtesy of Web MD).

Let me tell you what has been successful for me. Take both your hands and stretch out your fingers. Touch the pointer fingers from each hand together at the tips of your fingers. Now touch the tips of your thumbs together. There is a space now between your two hands. Any meat you have, it should fit in there and be no more than half an inch thick. Done. That is your meat. Have as many steamed or boiled veggies as you want. Same for salad. One fruit. Drink water. This isn't hard. Get used to food as fuel. Not entertainment.

If you are in a restaurant, eat what fits in the space. Take the rest home in a doggie bag...then give it to the dog. If you keep it, you might go after it after hours.That is portion control. Eating what makes sense...not what tastes good.Good luck doing this. I have made it sound simpler than it is. It IS simple to conceive and then it is tough to execute. Be tough. You can do it. Good luck.

Next: Living Thin

You Want Some Chicken With That Fat?

2009-05-09T13:20:00.016-04:00

Oprah, Oprah, Oprah. Will you never learn? Remember the book debacle? The one where you promoted the book on your show and then found out that the author had lied about most of the elements in his book that you were gushing about? Remember when you had the guy come back on and do the 'mea culpa' to get your fanny out of hot water? You are someone that many people listen to and heed like some deity. Why they do this, I admit, I cannot fathom. Shouldn't you have learned from the book experience and wield your Godlike power with a degree of caution? Don't you have a conscionable responsibility to get some facts before you promote something (else)?

People remember Oprah for her weight loss. Notwithstanding the fact that she got thin once in her life and hasn't actually been thin since then, they think she is an expert. As I blogged this week, Kirstie Alley went on Oprah to talk to the guru about weight. I slammed Oprah in that blog entry and got some nasty email over it. Valerie Bertinelli (someone who, I think, actually gets the weight thing) went on Oprah to discuss her weight battle. So Oprah has some level of expertise on weight loss that has been awarded to her by the public. People seem to think that she is an expert on everything, but this week it is weight. Much in the same way that colleges give Bill Cosby a doctorates degree to speak at their graduation ceremonies...you don't really need to do the work, just have enough drag that you can demand the accolade. So now we have our elected fitness guru...Oprah Winfrey.

What made Oprah my topic today? Well, she has been promoting Kentucky Fried Chicken's (KFC for those of you who only know it by that name) new product, grilled chicken. Not fried. Grilled. So we will now be calling them KGC? The grilled chicken is a great idea. If you read my last blog, 'steamed and grilled' is the way to go. Apparently, through Oprah's promotion, you could get a free Grilled Chicken meal. There were so many people that took Oprah up on the promotion that KGFC actually ran out of product.

I like the concept of grilled chicken on the menu. In fact, I am even looking forward to trying it myself at KGFC. It is a great idea!! But, and this is a big butt (extra 'T' intended), KGFC and Oprah still found a way to screw this up. Here is how they did it: they are offering the grilled chicken in a MEAL format at KGFC!

They don't mix people!! That is like mixing roses and mud, oil and water, or prune juice and radiator seal. You just don't put the two together. The objective of the new product is supposed to be health. Let's look at this proposition.

Here is the chicken portion of the new grilled chicken meal.

You can get two pieces of any of these grilled items in combination.

Drumstick (70 calories), Breast (180 calories) or Thigh (140 calories). It should be noted that KGFC loves to toss you one drumstick and one of the meatier selections. I think I respect my readers enough that I know you can figure out why. If we take a Drumstick and a Breast, we get 250 calories. That is more than 6-7 ounces of protein and is more than we need in a meal BUT it is all protein and is OK at this point. You have about 1800 calories to use today if you are a guy and about 1400 if you are a gal.

NOW...let's look at the "meal" portion of this deal.

Mashed Potatoes with Gravy (130 calories). I know the gravy isn't in the picture above, but I also know that NOBODY is eating that pseudo-wallpaper paste without the hot gravy to help it glide down your esophagus. Biscuit (180 calories). Ok, this is a biscuit right? One biscuit? They must dehydrate this thing so you can swallow it and then it expands to the size of a beach ball. A candy bar, full size, is 200 calories. Coleslaw (180 calories). This should be the most healthy part of the meal in that it is made mostly of cabbage and lettuce. Someone must have found a way to inject massive amounts of sugar into the mayo sauce they mix it with because it is running neck and neck in a fat race with the biscuit. Two things that haven't been mentioned are the drink and potential dessert that KGFC sells. Let's be optimistic and think water and no sweets. Entire meal calorie count: 490 calories.

New grilled chicken: 250 calories.
The meal: 490 calories.
TOTAL: 740 calories.

Ladies, you just used a half day's calories. Men, you have about 500 cals each left over for breakfast and the other meal you choose now so be careful. You (anyone of you) do NOT need a 740 calorie meal. You know also that if you have the regular soda, the total will be about 900 calories.

So they have found a way to ruin a perfectly good idea.

Here is what you do. Get the bucket of grilled chicken for the family. Make a huge garden salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, green peppers, and NO cheese. Get some 'No Fat' Maple Farms dressing, my favorite is balsamic vinaigrette. Big helping of salad with one breast of grilled chicken each. Fresh fruit salad for desert with Ice Water for the beverage. Total meal calories (460 calories): Chicken (180 cals), Salad (200 cals) and Fruit (80 cals).

KGFC could have redone some of their side dishes to make them more healthy. Oprah is helping them push the 750 to 900 calorie meal into people under the guise of it being so 'good for you.' It makes one wonder what the heck Oprah eats on a regular basis. In reality, there is no reason for the wealthiest of stars to be overweight. They have personal chefs and can easily afford all the fresh foods and veggies that are typically more expensive than pre-cooked food and/or fast food. Also, stars like Oprah can be on treadmill or be exercising all day if she wants...she can afford enough assistants to have them read stuff TO her and take dictation. If Oprah had this Grilled Chicken Meal three times a day, she'd be bigger than she is right now.

So there she is, pushing the meal on us because she is the 'expert.' Also, like some crack dealer, you get the first hit for free. You will love it. And because it is so good for you, you will be going back. They are counting on it.

So who will you be taking advice from, Oprah or Dick? Unfortunately, for most of you, I know the answer.

Next: Stay between the lines!

You Can't Go Home Again

2009-05-07T22:25:00.009-04:00

When you go on the Optifast diet, if you follow it and do not cheat, it is like being in a nice secure bubble. You are insulated from all the bad things that you were doing that turned you into a Thanksgiving Day float. But eventually, you have to leave the bubble. The rest of the world doesn't live in there. That's when your time comes and it's "fly little bird, fly!!" It's time to do the hard work. It's time to look at the real world and address all the things that contributed to the XXL or XXXL person who walked through that door on day one.

At week 12, I hit 219 lbs. I had now shed about 60 plus lbs of ugly fat. 12 weeks is an incredibly fast time to lose that amount of weight. It is weird in that you just seem to be hitting stride and now it is time to think about managing your life OFF the diet. My original goal as set by the doctor was 215. My personal goal was 205. I was basically where the doctor thought I should be. Next week, we would talk about adding another meal to the daily plan. As I have said, I was on three shakes per day plus one carefully measured dinner meal. I now had to consider a diet that was 100% real food. The Miriam Hospital program, in my opinion, excelled at showing you how to manage your eating like a normal person. Strike that. Our country is now comprised of a population where over 50% are considered overweight, obese and morbidly obese. This condition is becoming the 'norm.' So this program was teaching us how to eat within the boundaries of a normal human body, not at the levels we have become accustomed to as a society.

To do this, the education program in broken into behavior and dietary management. I have said this over and over, but the diet management was the most valuable to me. I am going to cover some of the topics in the next few blog entries.

A man of 210 lbs burns about 2000 calories per day. If you want to lose weight over a long term, you should restrict your intake to about 1600-1800 calories per day. Exercise plays an important role. First, you need to have enough energy to exercise. Second, you can burn a large amount of calories depending on how much exercise you are doing. On my diet I was taking in 900 calories per day. I was burning about 2000 normal calories and about 400 exercise calories. The exercise calories came about from my speed walking which I did daily. On weekends, in addition to the walking, I would mow the lawn etc. I was running a daily 1500 calorie deficit. The weight, at this tempo, comes off at a speed that has been reflected in my progress.

Start to think about your sex, height and weight. Look at a chart that will show you your normal calorie burn. That is what you work with daily. The most important thing you need to know now, coming off of Optifast, is how many calories you are burning on average daily and how much you are taking in. We could go into the detail about the type of calories but let's keep this real simple. My 'off-diet' calorie intake should be about 1800 calories daily. I could manage this because I had decided that I would exercise 3-4 days per week and figured I was burning around 2400 calories per day. That number gave me some leeway for any small indiscretions. We aren't perfect and we aren't robots either. So that's my number 1,800.

One of the most astonishing things I learned in the education classes was how many calories I had been ingesting. I had absolutely convinced myself that, before this diet, I didn't consume that many calories. The day it really came home to roost was the day our class covered the "Dining Out Guide." This is a compiled list of meals and their calorie content from some of the most known restaurants in the United States. If you are serious about losing weight, you should go out and buy "The CalorieKing Calorie, Fat & Carbohydrate Counter 2009" by Allan Borushek. If you eat out even one night a week, you should just take this little baby with you. It lists the calories in most foods but it also has a section like our class "Dining Out Guide," only even more extensive. It tells you just how much you are stuffing into that chubby little frame when you eat out in restaurants. You won't believe it. I didn't .

Here are a few examples. As an appetizer (the meal hasn't even arrived yet!!), an order of fried Calamari (3 cups)....1,037 calories. That was more than my diet allowed ALL DAY! Here are some more appetizers. Ruby Tuesday's low carb Spicy Buffalo Chicken Wings with dressing...1,090 cals. That's right football aficionado's, don't even try to tell me that you limit it to one serving either. Especially during the playoffs and on Super Bowl Sunday. Don't rationalize this one...the restaurant doesn't matter! Check out TGI Friday's Buffalo Wings...1,010 cals. Whew!! But you may actually be making a relatively HEALTHY choice! Check out these! Stuffed Potato Skins with sour cream...1,260 cals. The Bloomin' Onion with dipping sauce (because it tastes awful when it's plain)...2,130 cals. Here is the all time show stopper appetizer, Cheese Fries with ranch dressing...3,010 cals. Make sure you have the diet-cola!!

Here is something you figure out pretty fast using these guides, and take it as a tip. The appetizers listed above had more calories than the entrees. They also have more calories than dessert! The golden rule, SKIP THE APPETIZERS and SKIP THE DESSERT. If you are going to eat the meal, an appetizer could multiply your calorie intake by (depending on choice) a factor of 4!! Add a dessert and multiply that intake by 6!

I could cover this forever. Go and buy the book. It will be the best education and investment you can make. Go and find a chart of calories you burn daily, print the number in BIG BOLD CHARACTERS on a sticky label, and put that label on the cover of the guide. If you are serious about weight loss, you may never have another appetizer OR dessert.

Other major thing to consider in restaurants:

(1) Watch the alcohol. It is a source of empty calories and makes resisting the dessert and appetizers hard. You will thank me when you get the bill and see the difference between the cost of two Brown Ale's and two Ice Water's with Lime.
(2) Watch how the meal is cooked. If it says "fried" or "baked", ignore it. Go for grilled or steamed. Watch the sauces. Go light. Pick "marinated in juice" over "marinated in butter."
(3) No pasta and no starch. Go double veggies always with your protein.
(4) If all else fails, go with the Grilled Chicken or Fish Salad.

My pre-Optifast life was one of excess. Absolutely. No exercise. Much food. Much drink. I was King of my castle. My castle of fat.

The walls are down and it's time to live like a person who hopes to see the finish line. It IS possible. But...you can't go home again. You don't want to anyway.

Next: Stay with the new life plan, don't listen to them!!

Motivation (Part 3): What Motivates Kirstie Alley?

2009-05-03T13:53:00.030-04:00

So what motivates Kirstie Alley (or any of us for that matter)? Will we ever be able to answer this?

Let's try to apply the theory that we have exposed in Parts 1 and 2. I have to make some assumptions based on what I know about her life. Most people of even a moderate degree of success fulfill their Level One needs. Let's presuppose that she has done this. The Level Two need of Safety and Soundness is probably being filled as well. I do not know of other medical issues she may have but I am assuming, since she is still large, that her weight issues are not tied to them. With this in mind, Diet and Physical Fitness (DPF) are probably not on Level Two for her. So let's also presuppose Level Two is fulfilled at this point in her life. The question becomes, 'where does Kirstie put DPF in her hierarchy?' Some people put their DPF in the Social Needs bucket...particularly those in the Media. Their social circles place a high value on how they look. Additionally, affinity needs get fulfilled with intimate relationships and, unfortunately, many intimate relationships start and are maintained based on appearance. So, in that case, DPF becomes critical. Friends and Family also typically play a role in Level Three.

So, it is quite apparent that Ms. Alley is not taking care of DPF. It is either a Level Three need that she is not fulfilling OR she has put it on Level Four and only thinks of it when it becomes an Esteem Need issue. If she has a lot of support and affinity in spite of being very large, she may have put the DPF priority at the top of her pyramid and is simply not addressing it. She then would be in the position of only addressing her DPF when it becomes something that she feels is inhibiting her career. If it is sitting at Level Four, it is in a place where many things can derail it as a priority, in particular, Level Three things.

There is one other possible answer to this though. She went through a divorce in 1997 to her ex-husband Parker Stevenson. That may have triggered her weight loss issues culminating in the 2005 appearance on Oprah. For many who simply let their weight and personal appearance get out of hand, when they lose affinity/love and feel like they need to find love again, they move DPF from a Level Four to a Level Three, but only TEMPORARILY. When they get their DPF under control and regain some affinity ties, they move DPF back to Level Four. I believe, based on Kirstie's pattern, that this is what she did. In all fairness to Kirstie, I am using her (somewhat unfairly since I do not even know her) as an example and my evaluation is based on much supposition.

I think that the majority of yo-yo dieting happens this way. Instead of putting DPF somewhere in our personal needs hierarchy and making its placement permanent, we move it around to suit our temporary wishes and then it gets bumped by other things.

What is my recommendation to Kirstie about her weight? It is the same advice I would give, and will give, to any of you that want to go on the Optifast (or any other) diet.

Start with a personal assessment of what the diet actually means to you. Where does this diet fit on your personal hierarchy needs chart? The lower (lower meaning a most basic need and a high priority) it is on your chart, the higher probability of success you will have with it. What in your life will trump your dieting efforts? Will it be trumped by work?...by family?...by social life? Is it going to take a permanent place on your needs chart or is it temporary because it is serving a temporary purpose?

If you need to lose a serious amount of weight, you need to assess its value to you. Losing the weight is difficult. There will be a lot of obstacles to derail that goal. There is something even more difficult after you complete the diet and that is KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF. That is the real battle. That is where the Personal Needs Hierarchy Pyramid for you becomes critical. You need to put your DPF in a permanent place. You need to assess this in your life because extreme dieting and yo-yo rebounding can actually be more unhealthy than never losing the weight in the first place.

Is there a value you can tie to your weight loss that makes you permanently move it to a lower and more important base level of your needs? If physical safety is not one of those things, how about the monetary cost of being fat?

I recently took a look at our family's financial situation and decided I needed to upgrade my life insurance. Without getting into my personal finances in a public forum, let me say one thing. A life insurance policy with the same payback and term provisions for me as a fat, high cholesterol person would have been $150 more PER MONTH than the same policy for me under my current 205 lb frame with low cholesterol. Additionally, because I have not had the weight off for at least a year, they ADDED HALF THE WEIGHT BACK when calculating my new policy. If I had lost the weight 2 years ago, my policy right now would be $50 per month less. So in real terms, being fat, per just my life insurance policy alone, would cost me an additional $200 per month. That is $2400 more per year and $48,000 over a twenty year policy. That is a tangible cost that you can use to put the value of DPF into the low level, high priority area's of your Personal Needs Hierarchy Pyramid.

Doing these things will separate for you whether or not the diet is a goal for your life, or whether it is a "wish to be thin."

This kind of look takes a lot of hard work and commitment.

My thanks to Kirstie Alley for involuntarily providing the inspiration for these past 3 blog posts! Not everyone needs to show perfect success in order to be inspiring. I have poked fun at her (honestly, I make fun of myself a lot too) but truly wish the best for her.

Next: Sticking With IT!!

Motivation (Part 2): What Motivates Kirstie Alley?

2009-05-03T13:41:00.021-04:00

Let's see if we can answer the question by examining my personal theory and how I have applied it to my diet at this juncture of my life.

Motivation, as defined in Wikipedia (God, I hope someone didn't edit it to say something stupid), is "the set of reasons that determines one to engage in a particular behavior." That understood, the question becomes "what forms the basis for the 'reasons?" To understand the 'reasons' we must go back to something that, at some point in time, we have all been exposed to...whether it was in High School Biology, Psych 101, or some type of workplace training...and that is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Ugggghhhhh!! I can just hear the collective groan.

Maslow's theory, which we have all come to widely respect, is that we humans fill and fulfill our most basic needs in a specific order. That order is based on the pyramid above. We fill the pyramid from the bottom up. We start with our Basic Physiological Needs (survival). We fill those needs first. Once we feel that those needs are met, we move on. Safety Needs, Social Needs, Esteem Needs and then we can focus on Self-Actualization. For most of us, we live our lives filling the levels in the middle of the pyramid. Some people are rare and get to the top two levels. There is a very tiny group that actually make it all the way to the top. The theory (and one I happen to agree with) is that if one of us has a deficiency in a lower level, it must be filled before we can further advance. The theory also says that if you have three levels filled and are working on something that fills a level four need, but then have something happen to you that upsets the lower level needs, you will stop the level four work to go back and back fill the lower level need and then have to return to level four. This theory of Maslow's is ageless and valuable.

As I read the many professional interpretations of Maslow, I continued to run into the same conflict. That conflict was that the writers in each case interpreted Maslow's levels with their own definition of what makes up each level. In the most basic example, 'Career Success' is most often placed at the Esteem Level by the social scientists who study Maslow. It is commonly held by them that a person's need for that success usually satiates the Esteem Level in that it typically brings with it the fulfillment of the Respect and Achievement need. The question I had was, "what if, for whatever reason (upbringing, dire social situations, etc.) a person puts Career Success at a different level?" If a person places Career Success at the Safety Need level, or they classify it as a 'must have' for their definition of personal Safety, they will approach fulfilling that need differently.

The uniqueness of every human being and the diversity of upbringing and experiences means that we build our pyramids differently. The items in my life that constitute my Esteem level are different from the next person's. If we try to interpret someone's motive and behavior using OUR OWN pyramid, we invariably end up in confusion and it can often result in conflict. The key, therefore, to understanding anyone and their motives, is to understand the person's personal pyramid of needs. Once you know that, their behavior makes sense and forms a pattern. Try to evaluate their behavior using YOUR pyramid, and their behavior looks erratic and confusing to you...because it is! It violates your own pattern of needs.

So I began to look at this as it relates to Dieting and Physical Fitness (DPF). Why can some people do this well and yet others be so poor at it? Also, why have I had success in my weight loss but not in keeping it off? The answer lies in where we place this DPF part of our lives on our personal hierarchy of needs pyramid.

I will tell you that for the longest time, I put DPF in the category of Esteem Needs. Why? Let's cover the lower levels first. I had all my Level One needs met without needing my DPF to be perfect. My Level Two needs of Safety and Security were not viewed by me as being jeopardized by being fat or thin. All those needs were met also. My Level Three Social Needs were also being met. I am happily married with a great family. No one socially, that I know of, was accepting me or rejecting me because I was a very big person. Everyone told me that I wasn't really THAT big and people accepted me for who I was. I also had the ability to laugh about my size and didn't take offense if people said I was big, fat, heavy...whatever. My Social Needs were filled without the need for my DPF to be perfect. I had, at that point in my life, decided to put my DPF issues on Level Four, the Esteem Level.

My personal reasons for putting DPF on Level Four were based on some observations that I had in my personal life. I noticed that many times in my life, I had tried to obtain jobs and move to a higher level of career status. The ONLY times I had ever been hired and obtained the next level successfully, was when I was thin. When I was large, I never got the job. Not once. Based on this, I had coupled my DPF with Career Success. Let me state for the record that in the last 3 to 4 years, I have been relatively happy with my current job. That said, I think I am ready to try some new things in my life. The fact that I am pretty happy and feel somewhat secure had me toying with the idea of improving my DPF and getting thin. But I wasn't that serious. Also, with DPF at Level Four in the chart, anything that could disrupt the first three levels became a priority and would derail the DPF goal. It just wasn't as important as other things.

Then something happened. My physical security was threatened. I was experiencing physical ailments that I hadn't before and needed to take drugs to counteract them. There was an inability to enjoy certain activities with my kids and family without feeling like I was hurting myself or holding them back. Without knowing it at the time (or thinking about it quite this way), I made the decision to move my DPF to a Level Two Personal Safety concern. Once I did that, things in my life pertinent to dieting changed to what they are today. I now view them as a safety and soundness issue in my life. My DPF today comes before a lot of other things in my life.

My theory is this: How you achieve the things in your life is determined by where you as a person put them on your own individual hierarchy of needs. You have to take a real personal assessment of the things in your life and then look close at where you put them. Some things make sense. Some things do not. There may be conflicts that cause life events to be at issue for you. Also, and very important to my theory, is that you can move things in your life from one location on the pyramid to another. It is not easy to just "do". It takes a strong degree of self-realization and self-awareness. It also may require something very serious to affect your life and force this change. But it IS possible.

As an illustration of this, let's explore a subject that people have differing values about in terms of their placement in the personal hierarchy of needs. There are many people in this world that put their Career Aspirations in the Safety and Soundness box on Level Two. For them, something in their lives convinced them it deserved this position. Something in their upbringing or personal experience has supported this placement. As a result, the Social Need things (the Level where most people put 'family and friends') take a back seat to work. This causes conflict not because this person has put Career in the "wrong place" but because their placement of it is so at odds with the majority of society. In many societies, take Japan and China for example, it is expected that the Male personal hierarchy chart look just this way! The Female hierarchy chart in these societies, however, puts Career at the Fourth Level if even giving it a position at all. So the Female hierarchy chart has Family as a priority before Career. In that way, these societies have determined that you may be able to optimize both Career and Family within a family unit. It is highly dependent on a family structure (husband and wife) being stable and that that structure is acceptable to both husband and wife. I am sure there are conflicts that arise because of this societal norm.

So, based on all this theory, what motivates Kirstie Alley (or any of us)?

What Motivates Kirstie Alley - Part Three

Motivation (Part 1): What Motivates Kirstie Alley?

2009-05-02T09:39:00.030-04:00

Kirstie Alley is fat again. I know, I was really upset too. Distraught is actually a better word. She was real thin in the early 80's when she was in Star Trek 'Wrath of Khan.' She had her first televised weight issues when she was on 'Cheers.' She started out thin and then became bigger in front of our eyes while hanging out with Sam Malone and Norm and Cliff. Then, for some reason, she lost the extra weight and went back to her svelt self. Now, why did she do that? Did she worry about losing her job? Did the public criticism get to her? Was she afraid Sam would love Diane Chambers instead? Was it just the cameras? We all know they add ten lbs. Why did she lose it? These stars we watch regularly are always so concerned with appearance that when they lose weight, no one questions it...unless of course it becomes extreme like Nicole Richie or Tori Spelling. We have come to expect our stars to be thin and in shape. So in 2005, Kirstie lost 75 lbs and became a part of the Jenny Craig diet movement. Sans her weight, she went on Oprah in a bikini. Personally, I thought the 75 lbs was admirable. I also thought she should have dropped another 50 before she jammed herself into the XXL Victoria's Secret. It really seemed a bit premature to be sporting those thighs on stage.

Of course, to show herself off, she picked The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah is the biggest 'enabler' on television. She will applaud any cause...especially if it has to do with weight. Kirstie (and I refer to her by first name because, through the tabloids, I feel as though we are personal friends) went on Oprah in 2005 when she lost the weight and, last week, she went back on Oprah to say the weight had come back. This poor woman. By all evidence known to man, it was a sneak attack.

There she was, going into her refrigerator for the apple and celery sticks. She innocently opened the freezer looking for some ice cubes. As she reached for the tray, the Haagen Daaz Cherry Vanilla morphed into a big hand and pulled her into the Half Gallon container...where she built a home...for the next 18 months.

The diet that I used to lose my 80 lbs was the Optifast diet. Oprah made that diet famous by using it to lose a remarkable amount of weight...just like many of the serious dieters who go on that diet. But Oprah, as we all know, put that weight back on. Again, this rebound is similar to those on Optifast or ANY diet for that matter. The rebound syndrome is something that we all have to face. Point of fact, "the rebound syndrome" is the REAL battle not "losing the weight." For those of us who have lost weight and put it back on, this is crystal clear. We have been successful losing weight, but not in keeping it off. Doesn't it make sense then that our goal should be to "stay thin", not "lose weight?"

So there Kirstie was last week with Oprah. She wants to lose the weight again. My last blog entry (before the Celtics) addressed the things that drive us to lose weight. I read and re-read my own writings again and again. I was missing something. So I did some research on the subject of motivation. There are surprisingly few books and research studies on the subject. There are many books on how to motivate yourself to do something. There are many on why we don't do things the things we should. There are many on the things we do to sabotage ourselves. But there are very few that explain what motivates us to do the things we do.

I was not looking for motives for dieting...I was looking for that THING in all of us that drives us to do anything at all. What drives us to get out of bed in the morning? What drives us to eat X for breakfast instead of Y? What makes you work longer hours at work to be successful? What got Michael Jordan to go outside and shoot a basketball for so long that he became the best player the game has ever seen? There has to be an answer...and I was looking for it. The real trick to dieting successfully and having your physical condition be a driving force in your life centers around the answer to this question. Why are some people successfully staying vibrant and thin and others successful at being obese? Why are others losing and gaining so much?

What motivates the Kirstie Alley's of the world?

What Motivates Kirstie Alley - Part Two

Dear Santa, Please Bring Me a Unicorn

2009-04-28T23:00:00.007-04:00

There I was, week 10. I weighed 230 lbs, down from 283. Total weight lost, 53 lbs. I was slowly getting to a place where I hadn't been in a long time. I had invested in some better fitting pants and some shirts that would not look like the baggy skin I probably would have in about a month or two. Unlike my time in Weight Watchers, I enjoyed going to the classes. My favorite classes were the dietician classes where we learned about calories (and the various types and forms of them), portion control, and the information sources that we would use in the future to maintain our new lifeforms. My least favorite were the behavior classes.

Ok, so why were they my least favorite? Let me start by saying that in 10 weeks I had lost 53 lbs. That is a pretty mean feat. I had done it by sticking to the diet and speed walking (by now jogging a little) 2.6 miles each day. When I say 'sticking to the diet', I mean it. I didn't cheat. I drank those shakes three times a day and had my vegetable/salad servings, my lean protein (6-7 oz) and my fruit at dinner. This diet was working. I saw that every week on the scale and I was not about to screw it up. The damn Aspartame had messed with the momentum, but now it was back. This was MY experience. WHY were the behavior classes so irritating? Because it exposed the side of this diet I didn't want to see...the ones who confused 'wishing' with 'goal setting.'

When I walked in on day one, there was a whole team of folks purportedly there for the same reason. Looking at them, you didn't need to guess that. 95% of them were very large and in need of a life-change. By week 10, many had lost weight, but about half had not. They seemed the same to me. Week in and week out, I heard the same thing.

"I had an OK week" or "I need to recommit to the diet." Blah blah blah.

They NEVER said how much they lost and NEVER commented on what 'OK' was. Seriously, this is a 900 calorie, strictly measured, medically supervised diet. If you do this diet and exercise, you will lose weight. That's a fact. If you are not losing weight you are (a) cheating or (b) not exercising enough. End of story. But something else was amiss in this diet program...an observed behavior was peeking out from under the taudry covers.

You begin to notice a trend. There are those that make losing the weight a goal and there are those who wish they were thin.

I am the former. I look at weight loss something I can control and need to accomplish. It is and was real to me. There are those, however, who want to be thin, or look better, or be healthier...and are NOT willing to take control and drive their life to that end. They wish it. They dream it. But they are not willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

Here is a real interaction in class.

"Hi, my name is StarchLover (made up name) and I didn't have a very good week. I had a problem with...um...Animal Crackers. It started when I was making my daughter's lunch. I thought I could eat just a few. I really started to like them, so I had a couple of boxes. I have been eating a couple of boxes a day for the last 4 days. But on the positive side, I have been drinking the shakes."

Seriously, what do you say to that? "You are drinking the shakes?" As what? Dessert? That is like saying you drank them with a side of fries. THIS IS A MEDICALLY SUPERVISED DIET!!!!! Cheating and eating unmeasured unsanctioned food is NOT ALLOWED!

Even the normally reserved behavior specialist couldn't restrain herself. "Do you know what is in those things? Sugar! Starch! Flour!...nothing but bad calories!"

"Oh...sorry...how do you feel about Peanut Butter Crackers?"

This diet costs money. For some, more money than others. You would think that that would be a factor. It is not. There are those who go with the intent on making losing weight their goal. They will succeed. There are those that wish they were thinner. They are still there. Wishing.

I had seen this at Weight Watchers. When I went there, I skipped the meetings and simply weighed in and left. I then went home and jogged 5 miles. I did this 4-5 nights per week. I would go to weigh-in and the 'un-losers' would give me the nasty death stare as I got off the scale with the WW rep saying, "congratulations, you lost ANOTHER 5 lbs!" The wishers just stand there. They gained a pound this week. Or they lost .75lbs. They are convinced they are killing themselves on this diet and that YOU, Mr. Miracle, are doing something magical like using a Harry Potter anti-fat potion. They cannot even be honest with themselves. They hate you and they hate your success.

That brings me to the thing that separates the 'Wishers' from the 'Goal Setters." That thing is the MOTIVATOR. What is motivating you? If the thing that motivates you is not strong enough, you are not going to achieve your goal. If you have NO motivator and have just a pipe-dream...you are a 'Wisher' and will NEVER lose the weight. I had a motivator. I wanted better health. I wanted to look better. But more than all of that, I wanted the 205 lb number. Achievement of the number is rarely ever going to be enough for people. That is what makes me a unique person in some regards. I can take a number and turn that into my sole goal. For most it is the 'looking good', or 'feeling great' thing. The health driver is a big one. I will tell you that the motivator has to be something that will trump all the de-railers in your life. The de-railers will be the excuses that you use to get you off the hook and off track.

So you need to ask yourself before any endeavor, especially a diet, "what is my motivation for this?" If you don't have an answer, a diet is probably not for you, especially an expensive one like Optifast.

No matter what challenge you face in your life...no matter what addiction or life-situation...you need to know what it is that is motivating you. It has to be serious. It has to be meaningful. It HAS to be something you REALLY want. If the motivator is weak, so will be your resolve.

Find the motivator and focus on it.

Commit to the change and keep your eye on the motivator.

My best to you.

Next: What motivates Kirstie Alley, REBOUND!

Aspartame: Someone should really be going to jail

2009-04-27T23:44:00.010-04:00

I can remember when this stuff first came out as Nutrasweet. It was 1983 and I was in the Army stationed at Ft. Carson in Colorado. They put it in Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi as the 'new saccharin.' It tasted awesome and I drank a lot of it because it could help me keep the weight off. You had to wonder how something that made stuff taste so sweet and had zero calories had been kept under wraps for so long! It was the miracle that we fatties and former fatties had been waiting for.

It wasn't long before I started feeling unusual. Not sick. Nothing I could put my finger on...just not good. I tried to isolate the cause and I thought the Diet Coke was doing it. When I drank it, I got headaches. So I stopped drinking it. It didn't really click on the Nutrasweet, I thought it might be the caffeine.

Then I noticed something else interesting. When we had barracks parties, I was drinking the new Crystal Light Lemonade and mixing it with Gin. Hey, what could be better than this? Zero calories, no caffeine and something in it literally masked the taste of the alcohol. But with relatively little Gin, I was feeling a little more woozy a lot more quickly. I went back to beer. More calories, but it felt like I was in control. That's when it hit me. Something about the Nutrasweet wasn't right. Headaches, stuff getting to my brain faster...it was almost, chemical.

Now at that time, there was very little research on Aspartame. There was no internet to speak of yet and if you read something on Nutrasweet/Aspartame, then someone must have given it to you or you were lucky to fall on it. Since then, there has been a lot written about the dangers of Aspartame. If you look around the web, you can find volumes on the dangers and also much to counter those findings, but typically, with no test results to back up the rebuttals. They point to the same tests that were run in the early 1980's when this drug, and I use that term purposely, was approved by the FDA for use in foods.

Aspartame is a very weak chemical compound that is made up primarily of Aspartic Acid, Methanol and Phenylalanine. At least, that is the three chemicals that it breaks down to in your body. Methanol converts, in your body, into formaldehyde. Yes, you read that correctly. It converts to the same stuff we embalm bodies with. It also converts very easily when the temperature is above 87 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, many other foods contain Methanol, orange juice is just one of them. Those foods, however, have naturally occurring chemical compounds around the Methanol that keep it from becoming formaldehyde. The same is not true for Nutrasweet aka Aspartame. Exposure to formaldehyde in the body is "known to cause gradual damage to the nervous system, the immune system and has recently been shown to cause irreversible genetic damage at long-term, low-level exposure." Sounds great doesn't it?

So how did this product get on the market? There is an excellent history of it online at this URL:

How Aspartame Became Legal - Synopsis

If you don't read the excerpt, know this much. It was political and Donald Rumsfeld was involved. G.E. Searle hired him around 1979 to help them get the substance approved by the FDA. The FDA would not approve the chemical due to safety concerns. Rumsfeld was a part of the 1980 Ronald Reagan Election Team. When Reagan was elected President, the day after his inauguration on January 21st, 1981, Searle reapplied to the FDA for approval. On that day, Reagan and his transition team, which includes G.E. Searle CEO Donald Rumsfeld, replaces the head of the FDA with a handpicked buddy, Dr. Arthur Hayes, Jr. In July of 1981, in one of his first moves as head of FDA, Hayes overrules the FDA approving body and approves Aspartame for use in dry products. In October of 1982, it is approved for carbonated beverages. Sounds legit doesn't it? Especially when the FDA originally classified it as toxic.

Here is what I know from personal experience, and this was my own little experiment. On my diet, I ate the same foods for 7 weeks. I lost 5 pounds each week like clockwork. In week 8, I changed one thing in my diet. I started drinking a couple cans of diet soda each day. Aspartame loaded and no calories. In week 8, my weight loss slowed to 4.5 lbs. In week 9, 3 lbs. In week 10, 1.5 lbs. The ONLY change in my diet was the diet soda. That was when I found an article that explained how Aspartame was processed in the body.

Now, we all know (for those who have been reading this blog site or are on the Optifast system) that you cannot have alcohol on this diet. The reason is that your liver is processing the fat 24/7 and if you ask the liver to start processing alcohol, you could damage it. Also, if your liver is processing alcohol, it will not be processing your fat and you will not lose weight. So given that information, I read the Aspartame article. The chemical compound Aspartame is ALSO processed in the liver. Your liver, when drinking it, spends less time breaking down your fat and more breaking down the Aspartame. It also takes more time to get your fat burning process revved up again. Mine deteriorated over a period of 3 weeks. One other thing that Aspartame does is that it causes fluctuations in your Insulin levels. These unstable blood sugar levels mess with the pre-measured levels that you experience on the Optifast diet and cause both cravings and fluid retention. Now, I experienced this myself. I discussed it with the Doctor and he seemed to think, while not documented, that it made sense.

Here is Dr. Sandra Cabot's article:

Aspartame Makes You Fatter

Once I was armed with this knowledge, I stopped drinking the Aspartame filled products. The result? 5 lbs were lost the NEXT WEEK. This continued until I reached my goal.

Aspartame. It is a chemical killer. It should be outlawed. It makes you fatter. It messes with your diet.

Drink water!

Next: Do it...don't wish it.

The House of Louse (Part Two)

2009-04-17T13:55:00.005-04:00

So the diet was going well on Day Two of the family vacation. Because we were in a condo unit, we could shop and get my cans of tuna and spinach. I was carrying the shakes and mixing them on the fly…the diet part was really no problem.

On day two, we hit Disney’s Hollywood Studios. This was a new name for the park. It used to be called MGM Studios. Someone at MGM must really have pissed off the mouse for them to spend all that money rebranding a whole theme park. We left the condo and started on our way to the park. The extended family had all stayed at a different condo than us. We were using a timeshare slot we own and they were all in timeshares owned by my wife’s aunt. She had cashed in three weeks worth of units for the family trip so they could all be together. I like togetherness as much as the next person, but I really liked having our own secluded place in Kissimmee. We visited them when the family was gathering, but we had a built in escape clause if things got tedious.

So we started on our way to Hollywood Studios and drove over to the park Parking Lot. Yeah, real tiny place…it looked like the pictures I have seen of Area 51. They should give you a map for the Parking Lot, never mind the theme park. At least the theme park has signs and recognizable landmarks and attractions. The Parking Lot is a desolate wasteland as big as 30 football fields and all the vehicles look the same. As a side note, you ever notice how many people drive Toyota’s? No wonder GM is going out of business. I will say this, at least they help you by naming the lot sections…”you are now parked in Goofy Seven…remember that!!”

We had the $10 fee for parking already out and pulled up. The money collector looked at our one day pass and waved at us to go through. The one day pass, however, had been for yesterday. But they never looked. Oh wait. What was this? A flaw in the Disney Order? So we told them about their mistake and gave them the money anyway….WRONG!!! I took off like I just got the green flag at Daytona. Now this was a ride. We saved our SECOND $10 now from our $130 one-night stay at the Disney Resort. My wife started with the math. Total cost of Disney Resort stay was now down to $110 for the night. I can tell you one thing…that pass was staying on the dashboard all week.

I was really in a great rhythm with the diet. I had no problems. I kept mixing the shakes and clocking the walking miles. I fully expected to lose more weight on this vacation than if I was home!

We did a lot of great rides in Hollywood Studios. This park, of all of them, is typically the least crowded. On a slow day, you can see everything if you plan right. Planning is really the key to a Disney World vacation. You have to go online or buy a book and get all the tips. My wife has a Disney Ph.D. If the Army had let her plan the D-Day Invasion and had given her the Intelligence gathering capabilities she uses to plan family vacations, the U.S. would have been in and out of Normandy in 8 hours. So she tells us what shows are happening when, knows the proximate location of each major attraction, and always has a checklist of “must see’s”, “nice-to-have’s” and outright “time-killer throwaways.” My kids are even in tune to the whole battle plan…so much so that they barely even say anything beyond “what’s next?” They are excellent forward scouts and can always see unexpected trends breaking out like unplanned and unmarked Disney parades and Character autograph sessions. They don’t even have to talk…they use hand-and-arm signals. This is effective because the place is really noisy. This was tough when they were little but now that they are 11 and 13 (Disney aged ‘adults’), they are tall enough to be able to point and wave you off a potentially bad situation (like a closed ride).

One thing I noticed on this day was the “help”, the Disney employees. They used to be young eager kids with happy faces. They were excited to be working in the Happiest Place on Earth. What did I see this time? Foreign “twenty-somethings” and the elderly. What the heck happened here? This is the epitome of a ‘buck-saving’ scheme. I can understand doing this when you have a seasonal facility and you do not want to take on full-time year-round permanent help. But Disney World is a full-time park in the nicest environment (barring the usual Hurricanes) in the U.S.! This was a money making scam of the highest order. And did they care about the consumers? No way, not one iota. The foreign workers…well they must have failed the ‘Always Smile 101’ course at Disney University. They were all smirking at the guests and speaking their foreign languages to each other. They didn’t care if you were happy, sad, hot, cold…just “keep moving” so I can get to my break. The funny thing is that THEY weren’t the worst part! I expect them to be miserable after they were practically kidnapped out of the Ukraine with some Disney Magic. The real killer here was the “oldies but moldies” they had hired. There is nothing more cranky on a hot day that a 70 year old man or woman forced into mouse slave labor because they didn’t earn enough to retire. This visit, there were more of them than ever. Hey, it’s a real park perk to be able to go on the American Adventure with people who have actually been there in 1920! I thought the old guy on the ride was an animatron…until he walked off the stage. So here’s a hint. If you are going through the park, and Pluto is sitting peacefully on the park bench, he isn’t sleeping. It’s probably a senior-citizen dead from heat exhaustion. Call 911.

So we had a pretty good day. The “must do” attraction was the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. It was number one on my son’s list. We had it on the battle plan for the first show of the day, but the House of Louse had cancelled it. It had caused a major remapping of our plan at the last minute. Thank God my wife had done so much pre-planning. She was able to put alternate plan Bravo into action. That called for us to Fast-Pass the Indian Jones show and be at the last show of the day. The Fast-Pass meant we were at the front of the line and, due to the morning cancellation, this show would probably be mobbed. So we were in front of the line and, to my son’s delight, had great seats in the 3rd row, center. While we sat there, I noticed that none of the overhead fans were working. This was a 90 degree humid August day. I was slowly getting used to the belt-tightening that was going on in Happy Land. 5 minutes before the show begins, out comes a cranky old fart to yell at us. He wants us to move in tightly to make room for more people. Yeah right. 90 plus degrees, no fans…I am not sitting on top of anybody. So it was very funny to see full-grown adults all thinking the same thing at the same time. Everyone shifted left a little, then right a little, and then sat right back on their spot. Still no extra space and just the way we wanted it. So two minutes later he is back. Now he is yelling at us. We “better move in” or we will be kicked out of the event. I start looking around…because I know I am no longer in the Disney World resort. I have just been transported to some kind of street carnival and we are all back in 3rd grade. Now, I can see the crazed look in the eyes of the rest of the people around me. We can all play this game. We do the full-tilt shift one more time…but this time, we all flare our elbows out a little to give the appearance that there is no room. This was funny to me because I was dieting to get thin and now here I was trying to be as fat as possible. Now the guy is back and he starts picking on individual people in spots and berating them until they move. “It’s a small world afterall, it’s a small world…tra-la-la-la-la…this sucks.” If he points me out in this heat I am going to knock him on his ancient ass in front of the whole crowd. I will probably get a standing ovation. One thing you know about Disney is that they start their shows on time. Thanks to their adherence to at least that one time-honored tradition, the old fart stopped and left the stage area. Good riddance.

We went home that night exhausted. It felt good to eat, lay down and just watch some TV and go to bed early.

The rest of the week was spent with family, tolerating the crowds and heat and just having more laughs.

We did Blizzard Beach. Great water park with an awesome drop on one of their runs called the Summit Plummet…the 120 foot drop will you get up to 70 miles per hour and an unbelievable “wedgy.” We also saved $10 on parking…ka-CHING!

We did Animal Kingdom…loved the Expedition Everest roller coaster, the Kali River Rapids and the Kilimanjaro Safari ride. We also saved $10 on parking…ka-CHING CHING. The resort hotel cost was now, by my wife’s estimate, a bargain at $90 for that one night!

We did Epcot. We pulled up to the Parking Lot and there he was. Every so often you find one of these people. You find a person who HAD an important job and is now reduced to THIS job. This guy was about 65 and looked like a retired CIA agent. He had that glare that lets you know that HE believes everyone is a terrorist. He looked the car up and down, in and out. He looked very close at us. He gave us very slow, detailed explanations of how we were to behave in the park I looked out my rear-view mirror. Traffic was backed up all the way to Jacksonville. “Dude, they check all the bags at the park entrance, you are the PARKING LOT ATTENDANT!”, I thought. Then it happened.

“Let me see that Parking Lot pass”, he said.

“What, no ‘please’?...gulp”

“Sure, here you go”, I said.

“Hey, this is expired.”

“Yeah, ugh, we know, the kids wanted it as a souvenir…let me have that back”, I said as I snatched it out of his hands. He was going to keep it but we might need it to further fleece the ‘Money Grubbing Mouse.’ I threw the Gestapo his $10 and flew out of there. Whew! That was close. Score one for the House of Louse.

All in all, it was a very fun time. As an epilogue, I lost about 6 lbs that week! So you can ‘have your cake and eat it too” when you are on a diet in Disney World. Just as long as you have your cake with Spinach!

Next: How diet soda kills you AND makes you fat.

The House of Louse (Part One)

2009-04-16T19:03:00.004-04:00

The diet went great for the first three weeks. I lost about 18 lbs, 8lbs in the first week. Diets work best when you can establish a rhythm to your life and just stay in the pattern. For the first three weeks, I had done that. One style of discipline carries over to other styles of discipline and everything seems to work in sync. The times when you feel challenged are when the patterns have to break. It makes you nervous and then you have to figure out how to work within that change. It’s not easy, but that’s life.

My first real challenge to my new pattern was week four. It was August and time for the family vacation. It wasn’t just the wife and kids this time. It was my wife’s entire extended family. Because if you are going to break a rhythm pattern, why just break it? Why not shatter it? Her brother, two sisters, and their entire families were along for the ride. 19 of us. And where were we going? Why, the happiest place on earth of course, Walt Disney World. Really, is there anything more fun in August than standing in long lines with ten million sweaty people in 105 degree heat and humidity? I think not! It’s the American dream vacation. This year, we will spend August tied to wooden stakes in a hot Costa Rican jungle! In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this wasn’t my first choice. Given the democratic system that exists on my wife’s side of the family, my 1/19th percentage of the vote doesn’t carry even 1/100th of the weight. This is because I am considered one of the ‘non-blood’ out-laws. So the clan choice had been made. We would all trek down to Orlando to visit the House of Louse (my version of Toon-Disney’s ‘House of Mouse’).

I used to be a huge fan of Disneyworld. When my wife and I got married 20 years ago, we actually went there two years in a row without kids. When the kids came along, we went twice again, and then also did a Disney Cruise. So over the past 20 years, we had done Disney quite a bit. I always loved it. But over the past 10 years or so, and I am sure you have all noticed it, they have become a little less about your good time and a lot more about their money. They seem to have evolved the ‘Disney Magic’ into a new trick that consists of moving money from YOUR pocket into THEIR pocket. POOF! And they have become highly skilled at it. They used to be very good at making the trash in the theme parks disappear. Now they did it with your bank account. I think this really started happening as Michael Eisner became more entrenched in the business and the Disney family was pushed out.

In the late 80’s, Disney started the empire rolling again with the re-emergence of their cartoon movie empire. Remember when “The Little Mermaid” came out? It was like seeing a family friendly Broadway show. The artistry, the music, the funny snappy dialogue, it was real family fun. You could watch these movies over and over again. When they were released to videotape (can you remember those?), the kids DID watch them over and over again. Speaking of patterns, they had gotten their own little one going. “Beauty and the Beast” (the first animated movie ever nominated for an Oscar!), “Aladdin”, “The Lion King”, “Pocahontas”…every year you could count on it. Famous stars doing voice-overs, catchy songs you would sing to yourself, it was infectious. The House of Louse was on a roll and really building to something great. They got more TV exposure…their own cable channel! It was endless. Then, as patterns do, the public shifted to other areas of interest. The movies started being OK but not great. They seemed to be the same thing over and over. So Disney shifted gears. Did they get more creative? No. They decided to take the exceptional characters from the backlog of the big successful movies and make new sequels. Only they did not make new high-quality movies for the theater. They went for our wallets. They made crappy sequels with substitute star voice-overs, terrible songs and third rate artwork. They found Mel Gibson’s brother to replace his voice in Pocahontas. His brother?! I didn’t even know he had a brother. Where did they get this guy…some swamp in Australia? They slapped this stuff together and sold it ‘Coming Soon – Direct to Video.’ This was the beginning of the end. It wasn’t about us. It wasn’t about high quality entertainment. It was about the money.

My opinion on Disney has evolved, obviously, to a defensive posture. The game now is, “How can I keep the House of Louse from extracting money from my wallet that is over and above the value they are giving me.” With that in mind, the vacation was on!

Now I also had a diet to consider here. I couldn’t just throw away three weeks and kill the progress I had made. There were people in the diet class who had done exactly that. They had gotten out of the normal pattern and just said, “I will go back to my old habits for a week and then return to the diet.” One thing about this diet that I had agreed to up front…this was a life-style change for me. I wanted to change my habits and that meant ALL THE TIME, not just when it suited me. I decided to look at this positively. I brought a box (24 count) of powdered shakes. I figured that I could carry them in the park and mix them with water and that would be lunch. It would be phenomenally cheaper than the “cheese” the mouse would be trying to sell me. I could go with salad at dinner and then add the meat protein when I got back to our condo. Also, exercise was a critical component to the diet. If you have never been to the House of Louse, know this. You will walk. And walk. And run. And sweat. And walk. In the heat, you will cover about 5-8 miles per day in those parks. Run here, run there…”my ‘Fast Pass’ is for the Tower of Terror and it is on the other side of the park…RUNNNNNN”! If I had one concern it was this…”how do I endure this on 900 calories per day?” My doctor told me I should bring an extra shake for each day. Really? ANOTHER 160 calories? Thank God. I thought I was going to have a problem here.

We had all rented condo’s in Orlando. If you have never done this, you should look into it. It is as cheap as hotels and a lot more comfortable. There are also an amazing number of deals out there if you turn vacationing into a science, like my wife’s side of the family. The first night, a Friday, we stayed on Disney property at one of their park hotels. The condo stay started on Saturday night, so we needed one night at a hotel. It was OK. A small hotel accommodation with a lot of Disney art sprinkled around for effect…I think Tinkerbell does that stuff while people are sleeping. I did notice that the place wasn’t as clean as it had been my previous visits. Very few employees were around to smile and make sure everyone was ‘happy.’ It cost about $130 for the one night. The best part of this was a parking pass for the theme park. The theme park parking was free. Yippeee! We had our first savings of the week! We saved $10 for parking.

We had the 5 day base ticket. 4 Adults for $231…each. I know what you are thinking, because I thought the same thing. I have a 5th and 6th grader with me…where are my “Children’s” tickets? Oh no. Not at the House of Louse. They have slightly different standards. They consider you a child only if you are actually so small that you cannot go on 95% of the rides. They consider that to be the 5-9 year old range. So I have to tell my 10 year old son that he is now a “man”. “Go hunt something…like the stinking ‘Money Grubbing Mouse’ running around the theme park. Bring it back in a body bag”.

The whole family decided they would go to the same park the first day, the Magic Kingdom. It was the last decision all day that would be made peacefully ‘together.’ Did you ever try to do something like this with 19 people?

“Do you all need to sit together on the ride”, asked the attendant.

“Welllll, no…not really”, someone would reply.

The attendant did not have to be a linguist to know that that was double-speak for, “yes, can you go extremely out of your and all the other patrons’ ways to get all 19 of us together?”

I had sucked down my shake in the parking lot and had been running from ride to ride with the mob known as my extended family. The whole time, I was making sure I was fully hydrated. Around 12:30 in the afternoon, while I was in a mad sprint from Space Mountain to somewhere in Frontierland, the park started to lean sideways. Or was it me? Nope. It was the park. So when the park leaned sideways, so did I. And then back again. This was interesting. Usually you have to actually be ON a ride to experience vertigo on this level. Time to sit down and have my lunch. Yessiree, the vertigo was going to be cured with a 160 calorie fixer upper. Lunch was the breaking point for ‘family time.’ Starving sweating people who have different budget constraints for park spending have a knack of completely forgetting the democratic processes that got them to this lovely place. My daughter and I stopped at the first outpost we could find in Frontierland so she could get a hot dog and soda and I could mix my shake. Everyone else was scattered somewhere between our spot and Thunder Mountain. Thank God for cell phones.

The diet was fine after that. We went on many rides, had our fun, and left the House of Louse at about 5PM. We were tired (me, more than usual), hungry again, and out of patience. I didn’t want to see another extended family member until Christmas. If we hadn’t committed to 5 days of this, we might never have returned.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Next: Vacation and Diets - PART TWO

Inspiration From Special Places

2009-04-15T20:05:00.007-04:00

When I started this diet I was driven personally to success. I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care what they said. I was committed and would not be denied. Once the diet was done successfully and I achieved my goals, people began to hit me with all kinds of questions.

"How did you do it?"

"How much have you lost?"

Many people have been on diets or have been challenged to make changes in their lives that were necessary. It became apparent to me that people weren't looking for answers. They were looking for inspiration. Inspiration is what makes you take the next step. It's what has you stay focused on your goal. It's what makes you walk for the diet exercise, even in the rain. It's the 'something extra' that helps you realize that what you are aiming for, even when it looks hard, is possible.

That said, I really wanted to be able to do that for others in a way that was funny, serious, and believable.

Every so often, I come across something that inspires me. I would be terribly remiss if I didn't pass that on to any of you reading this.

I am 47 years old (or young depending on your perspective). There are a lot of things in my life that I feel I still have left to accomplish. I also wonder at times if, given my..um..experience, whether I will still be afforded the opportunity by others to be able to do those things. Realizing that I may never be able to do those things without help, having others who are willing to help, to take a chance, to have confidence, is not always something I think will be there. Every so often you see a bright shiny star come along that reminds everyone watching that anything is possible. People desperately wanted to laugh at her. She possesses something very special that, if you could bottle it, would be more valuable than the best diet formula. That's because diets are a dime a dozen...and what she has, is rare and extraordinary.

I saw this today and I am going to keep this blog entry short. Please watch this video of Susan Boyle on the British version of American Idol, "Britain's Got Talent". It is more than inspiring...it will bring tears to your eyes.

>Susan Boyle on YouTube in Britain's Got Talent

Next: Vacation and Diets

Day Two - Crunch Time

2009-04-14T22:51:00.014-04:00

It has occurred to me that I have said that I lost 80 lbs on this diet. I did NOT however say how long it took me to do that. I have included the chart above. Not only did I lose more on this diet than any other diet I have been on, I lost it faster. I started on July 17th, 2008 and by November 6th, 2008, I had lost 76 lbs. So in total, about 16 weeks to lose 76 lbs or about 4.75 lbs per week. Since November, at times, I have weighed as little as 199 lbs. I fluctuate within about 202 and 206 lbs depending on how much exercise I do and how well I maintain the diet. I have been in this range for about 5 months now and am still going strong.

Day one of this diet was not real tough. Aside from the headache I got briefly that first afternoon, it wasn't too bad. The fact that it was a Friday helped a lot. There were lots of distractions to keep me from thinking about the diet. Day two was a Saturday. This was not going to be quite so easy. The weekend is the toughest time for a diet. We have a big family with lots of gatherings. This means one thing. Lots of food. Heaps of food. Plenty of beverages to wash it down with. This is where you separate the fat men from the skinny boys. This was crunch time.

I got up that morning and drank the shake. That's right...you got it. One suck. I felt kind of strange. I had this weird energy. It wasn't something I was used to because Saturday is a day I like to sleep in and really relax. I couldn't do it that morning. I felt like a had to go do something. So I put on the exercise stuff, strapped on my MP3 player, and went for a 2.6 mile walk. I hadn't planned on going this early but it couldn't hurt, hell, it was just a walk. So I did that. Came in sweating. But I couldn't stop...so I mowed the lawn. My mower is a push mower, not a rider. Not like you could tell from my adorable pear (bowling pin?) shaped frame. I looked like "Kung Fu Panda" pushing the thing...which I did for about 2 hours. I drank quite a bit of water doing this, but the diet said to do that...so cool. I finished mowing. "Gotta do something else here. What has gotten into me?" So in the corner of the garage was a ton of cardboard boxes I had intended to cut up for the trash. I had intended it LAST summer. So I went and got my boxcutter (which, incidently, until 9-11 I referred to as a blade knife) and began to slice and dice. By noon, I had walked, mowed, sliced, diced, drank water...my wife came outside looking for the alien pod that had spawned me.

I finally felt a little tired and went inside for my 8 oz lunch. Ate in about 5 seconds.

I took my shower and heard the phone ring. It was the in-laws. A usual summer gathering at one of their homes was being quickly put together. These usually went from mid-afternoon until...ugh...basically until you were kicked out. This should be a challenge (to my patience)...since I can't drink. I mentioned this in a previous blog but, just in case, drinking is verboten on this diet. So I packed my evening dinner. One can of spinach, one can of tuna, one apple. I brought a shake in case this party went the distance. I couldn't remember the last time one didn't!

There are occasions when you have an epiphany because you are so bored stiff that your brain does some extra handiwork and comes up with ideas. This was one of those afternoons. I went out to the patio and sat down at an outdoor table. The food started flowing...and flowing...and flowing. OK, maybe I was extra conscious of the food. When you can't eat it, everything looks like food. Even waxed fruit. So the table was full. Dip. Chips. Veggies. Veggie dip. Coolers of beer. Mexican cheese and bean dip. It started at 3PM. At 5:30PM the table was cleared for the food (?, seriously) as the grill was emptied. Steak, burgers, hot dogs...you name it. Potato salad, salad, corn on the cob. The whole time, the beer was just flowing.

This must be what it is like when you are paralyzed and in the hospital. You just watch everybody doing their thing and, well, you just watch. The dinner finished and then out came desserts. Brownies, cake, pies...did we really do this weekly? This was bigger than most people's Thanksgivings. No wonder I am as big as a house.

Somewhere in this smorgasborg of activity, I ate my spinach and tuna. I ate the apple when I was done...for some reason eating seemed like a natural reflex. But I didn't eat anything else...no cheating.

When dessert was done, the dips and stuff came back out. At no time from 3PM to 10:30PM when we left did the table appear barren. Never. Nothing that had to do with food got by me on that day. I had my last shake at 9PM. Hey, if I could get through that day, I could do anything.

I told my wife about my observations on the drive home. This was the beginning of my reformed fatty period where I would be telling everyone why overeating was just wrong.

I had done it. I would do it again. Over and over. For 16 weeks.

In retrospect, it was all worth every moment.

Next: An Inspirational Break

Turning Wine into Water

2009-04-10T10:34:00.004-04:00

Water. As comedian Lewis Black would say, “it’s the elixir of life.” 70% of our planet is made up of water. In a normal lean human being, water makes up approximately 60% of our body composition. In a normal obese human (and obesity is sadly becoming ‘normal’), water composes about 47% of that same makeup. The rest? By now you should know the answer. Fat.

Water should be a staple of your daily diet. 50-60 ounces per day. It makes your bodily processes work better. It aids digestion. When (not if…WHEN!) you exercise, it acts as a lubricant for all of your muscles and joints and the exercise feels better. If you have ever experienced cramping due to lack of hydration, you know what I am talking about. It helps your liver and kidney’s flush fat and uric acid from your body when you are on a diet like Optifast. Water is a must.

What do you drink during the day? Coffee? Good for a pick-me-up. It is a vice of mine, I happen to drink about 3-4 cups per day. For the first 3 months of the diet, I drank it black with ice cubes. I now use about a teaspoon of skim milk in each cup. NO SUGAR or ARTIFICIAL sweeteners. Ever. The upside, it is a known thermogenic and aids in the fat burning process. The downside, it is a diuretic and will deplete your body of its water supply if you don’t drink water during the day. So if you drink coffee, drink water too.

Tea? I am not a big fan but Green Tea is also a known thermogenic. Use the same rules with tea as you would with coffee.

Do you drink milk? What kind? It should be ‘No Fat’ or ‘Skim.’ On Optifast, you can only have it when the diet says you can have it. If you are on any other kind of diet, skim or ‘no fat’ is the only milk you should be drinking. Before you begin to complain about the taste, and that is everyone’s first complaint, try skim for a week. Then go back to whole milk. As the whole milk slowly plods its way down your throat in chunks and leaves that fatty film…ask yourself how it tastes then.

Soda? Do you drink the poison? The best thing I have heard in years is that schools are pulling it from vending machines in place of water or 100% juice. Having it in vending machines in our schools is like having a special boot camp to build little fat kids. 12 ounces, 150 calories of corn syrup. Really, is it necessary? Diet Soda? STOP THERE. Do not drink diet soda. I have a whole blog entry for tomorrow on Aspartame (also known as Nutra-Sweet) and how it affected my Optifast diet. So here is my policy…no soda. In any form.

Alcohol is a no-no on any diet. This part kills most people on a diet who enjoy a nip here and there or everywhere. On Optifast though, it is not an option. Oh, some people think it’s an option. Some don’t listen to the counselors and don’t listen to the dietician on why you can’t (not shouldn’t, CAN’T) drink on the Optifast diet.

The reason you don’t want to have alcohol when you are dieting is two-fold. Number one, it is a frivolous source of empty calories. You are on your diet. You are depressed because the weight won’t come off fast enough. You are working out like a fiend. Then, you drink the alcohol. One can of beer is between 90 and 150 calories per 12 ounces depending on what you choose. One 4 ounce glass of wine is about 100 calories.

So you have a couple drinks. 200 calories. 300. Mmmm. Just one more. 400. You know, I can exercise tomorrow. 500. Wow, this has been fun, just one more before we close the place. 600. God, I am starving. Let’s stop at the McDonald’s drive through! 1700.

That’s how it happens. It’s not the alcohol, it’s the escalation. As they say, “been there, done that.” Lots of that.

The whole escalation experience takes us to reason number two for why you shouldn’t drink on a diet. The diet is hard. It requires self-discipline. It requires control. It requires you to care about the goal. Drink by drink, all of these things slowly disappear. We’ve all done it…the booze just gets in your brain and starts singing show tunes, “tomorrow, tomorrow, there’s always, tomorrow…” Next thing you know, it’s 11:00 at night and you are waist deep in the freezer looking for that last half pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey.

Do you know what it takes to burn off 1700 calories? Most of us don’t. Consider this. If you are a woman of normal to above-normal weight and about 5’5” tall…

- You burn this amount of calories, maybe a little less, in a whole day just doing normal things
- If this is excess calories (and it is), you would need to walk the dog for 6 hours to burn this off.
- You could work out at the gym for 5 hours
- You could do aerobics for a little more than 4 hours
- You could swim for 3 hours
- You could jog for 2.5 hours

As a man of 205 lbs, I have to spend 50 minutes on a treadmill at 6.5 miles per hour to burn 900 calories. That is 5.5 miles. I would have to run almost 10 miles at that pace to burn the 1700 calories. I am exhausted just considering it.

If you had a ticker on your arm that lit up and gave you this information as you were knocking down the alcohol calories…you probably would have left after the first drink. That is a lot of work to pay for those frivolous calories.

Ok. Warning time. For those of you doing Optifast, this is serious. You are on a starvation diet. 800-900 calories per day. Your liver performs a process when you are in this mode where it spends all of its time taking fat from your fat cells and breaking it down into fuel for your body. The byproduct of this process is uric acid (which by the way needs to be flushed from your body, hence the need for 60 ounces of water per day). The reason you CANNOT drink alcohol is because your liver is busy. When you drink alcohol, your liver has to process it out of your body. If you are in starvation mode AND drinking alcohol, your liver will not properly function and you could damage it. Fatty liver disease, jaundiced like conditions…you get the picture. If the damage is not enough to convince you, remember this…your liver will be processing alcohol and not your fat…so you won’t lose weight!

Water. The elixir of life. Drink plenty of it. Turn your wine into water for a better, healthier you!

Next: Family gatherings, a starving man's look at gluttony.

Do I Have to Exercise?

2009-04-08T20:14:00.012-04:00

On day one of this diet, I exercised. That was the key right there. If you are on this diet, or any diet for that matter, and are not exercising, do not expect any long term results. That's a fact.

Exercise is essential to any diet. You cannot reduce your calories, not exercise, and expect to lose weight over a period of time. Your body has a very efficient way of dealing with the calories you took away...it takes away your energy. That's right, it goes on strike. You take away the calories, your body's metabolic rate lowers. It learns to work with less calories. It burns your carbohydrates. Then it looks for proteins. A real nice source of protein is any muscle you have. This is something I bet you wanted to have a little more of when you started your diet. It will work on your fat last. One reason the fat burns last is that your body senses the deprivation and the caveman instinct built into our genetics over hundred of thousands of years feels that a long period of starvation may be afoot. So it holds onto the fat for future energy needs. You have officially scared your body into hanging onto the one thing you were hoping to get rid of. Fat.

As your metabolism decreases, you begin to feel exhausted. So you look for things that can give you energy. Most folks will turn to sugary products for that quick boost. You are then putting yourself in a nice glucose/insulin cycle that will have you craving sugar until you fall asleep or induce a glycemic coma, whichever comes first. That isn't a diet, that's self abuse. That is why most people hate diets.

Exercise is essential because if you restrict calories and work out, you keep your metabolic rate at a normal to normal/high level. Your body not only continues to burn calories at its normal rate, but it will burn more during exercise and continue burning more throughout the day. The deficit between the calories you are taking in and the calories you are burning will be much, much greater. You will definitely lose more weight. You will actually feel like you have MORE energy after exercising. When you get done exercising, have a good dose of water and, if you are hungry, have an apple.

This is really not complicated. Eat less, exercise more.

The Optifast Liquid Diet is unique in that it restricts calories severely to about 800-900 calories per day. When you walk at the rate that I was walking (about 2.6 miles per day in 45 minutes) you will burn approximately 350 calories in that 45 minutes. Add that plus a little more to your daily expenditure. I was using about 2000-2200 calories a day just walking around at my height and weight. That plus the 400 I got exercising and from post-exercise burn was about 2500 calories per day. I was taking in 900. I was running a 1600 calorie per day deficit. That is a deficit that will guarantee weight loss.

Take the same person on a 900 calorie per day diet and take away the exercise. Their metabolism slows down so they are burning about 1500 calories per day (about 1300 per day for women due to their smaller stature). Then to get energy they take in sugar. One pack of M&M's...six Oreo cookies...pick your poison here...250-400 calories easy. 1400 burned and 1300 taken in...100 calorie deficit per day. This is why just dieting doesn't work. I have exercised on every diet I have ever done and have lost weight without fail every single time.

Ok. So you need to exercise. What is exercise? This is not a trick question. It cracks me up what some people actually believe exercise is. Someone said to me, "I walk my dog." That was their exercise. Understand something here. Dragging a small furry animal with six inch legs fast enough to make it crap is not exercise. It might be for the dog. It is NOT exercise for you. If you go inside and YOU have to visit the bathroom, we can have a different conversation but for now, let's agree you have to do a little more. Walking is not exercise. It is the way we move about our day. It is natural, but (and I am not talking about the super-overweight and obese) it is not exercise. It is exercise if you are walking at a pace quick enough to make you sweat and if it is done over a long enough period, say 30 minutes at the sweaty pace. For the obese, walking at a natural pace may in fact classify as exercise.

Exercise is a word which can be broken into two parts. "Exer", the derivative of the word exertion, and "cise", uh...the latin form of "size" meaning your size is too damn big. Ok, I made the second part up, but exertion is the essential ingredient here. There is nothing wrong with sweating. You are going to take a shower when you are done exercising anyway, so tear it up! Sweat until it's rolling off you. Think of it as your body surrendering in the form of liquid fat.

So that is my opinion (somewhat educated) on exercise. I sat back during the course of this diet and went to my classes. I saw people struggle on the Optifast diet. I am convinced that one of two things kept them from success, either they cheated outright and never DID the diet, or they did not exercise and coped with the diet. In both cases, they did not achieve results that helped them reach their ultimate goal OR they reached the goal and were miserable doing it.

If you follow the Optifast diet and exercise daily the way that I did, you will lose weight. They have to, for legal reasons, say that my weight loss is not typical. I will say that if you do what I did, and it wasn't miraculous, you WILL lose weight. No one and I mean NO ONE runs a 1500 calorie per day deficit and does not lose weight. It is impossible. Bill, a friend of mine, started on the diet 6 weeks ago. He follows the diet. He walks every day. He emailed me yesterday that he is at 38 lbs lost. That is better than 6 lbs per week.

"Exertisize". You will feel better and your dieting will be a rewarding experience.

Next: What should I be drinking?

"Pfsllllllppppppppp!"

2009-04-07T21:46:00.015-04:00

800 to 900 calories a day. I won’t lie to you, it isn’t easy that first day. You can do pre-mixed liquid or “make your own” shakes. I chose pre-mixed. They come in containers that look like juice boxes you would send to school with a kindergartner. 8 ounces of balanced nutrition. I kid you not, I could drink them in one suck. The diet, for me, worked like this…one in the morning, one at lunch, a measured meal at dinner, and one more shake at 9PM. That’s it.

My first class was a Thursday night, so the diet really started on that Friday morning. July 18th, 2008. New diet, new day. Sounds great. I woke up that morning and hit the scale first thing. 282 lbs. Hey, I already lost 4 lbs and I was not even officially dieting yet! Not true. You will weigh the least the first thing in the morning. Except for very rare occasions when you are exercising in the evenings, this will hold true all the time. If you get up and weigh more than you did when you went to bed, check the bed for chicken bones and cake crumbs. You are sleep walking. I hopped on the scale on day one and it is a ritual I continue to do every day. People will tell you not to weigh daily because your weight will fluctuate and it can be depressing. I will tell you that you need it every day. It is a barometer. Will it fluctuate? Yes. If you are expecting fluctuation and it (gasp!) fluctuates, will you be forever psychologically marred? No. You want depressing? How about dieting for a week and finding out that after seven days you have lost half a pound? How about finding out you gained? You weigh yourself every day…that is MY rule of success.

Here is what weighing in every day did for me. I should really say DOES for me and use present tense. Except for vacations when a scale is not available, I have weighed myself every morning since that day. But starting day one, I would get up, look at the number and one of two things happened.

1) I had dropped a little: I was psyched…my day was better because I had positive reinforcement. -OR-

2) I hadn’t dropped any or went up a little: My day was spent doing all the things I had to do to lose the next day.

Not only did I weigh in every day, I marked it on a calendar on the door. Having that weight check every morning, at the very least, curbs any ideas you might have about cheating. It also, after time has passed, reminds you of how much you have lost. This diet weigh-in isn’t like Christmas morning. You don’t get up the day of class after seven days of diet and get on the scale for the first time in a week and hope a nice present is under the tree. When you skip days on the scale, you delude yourself into thinking "I'm doing OK." If you were really doing OK and were interested in not avoiding reality, you would jump on the scale. So, by Dick's Rules, you get on that scale every single day and take responsibility for making sure you reach your goals.

So it's DAY ONE. Downstairs I ran and took the shake from the refrigerator and ‘pfsllllllppppppppp’ it was done. I had cut coffee out of the diet. I had the option to have it, but I didn’t want to complicate things. So my breakfast was over. How anti-climactic.

Around lunch I was really hungry. I have a job where I have a lot of meetings and they occur most days of the week. That Friday was one of those days. I kind of forgot that I was hungry but by lunch I felt like Fred Flintstone looking for a Bronto Burger. "Oh yeah...I am on the diet...and lunch is in the refrigerator. Pfsllllllppppppppp. Wow. Now I have 59 minutes to kill." You notice real fast on this diet that, around the times when you used to eat, you have a LOT of extra time you never used to have.

By about 2PM I started to get a headache. This isn't uncommon when you go from the lifestyle of Willy Wonka to the low carb lifestyle of Jack LaLanne. It happens. The good news is, unless you are having a stroke, the headache won't kill you. Just tough it out. It's called a diet. It wasn't easy getting as big as the Hindenburg. You spent a lot of time accumulating a significant amount of mass. So, it's not going to be easy going in the other direction, in fact, expect it to be harder. What hurts the turkey more, eating all the feed to become huge or getting trimmed on Thanksgiving?

So I left work thinking about dinner. Now, you have to realize something about this dinner. It is not the dinner you are used to. It is heavy on the vegetables and salad, 3 servings equalling about 1/2 cup each serving. You get 6-7 oz. of very lean meat or fish. You get one piece of fruit. It is not that much. But after 16 heaping ounces of diet shake since 7AM, it looks and tastes mighty satisfying. Take small bites, chew it a lot, get as much satisfaction as you can out of it...you won't get another one until tomorrow night.

I should say this about myself. I am a creature of habit. This worked greatly to my advantage on this diet. One of the things that really bothers people on this diet is the lack of variety. I could, in all seriousness, eat the same 3 meals every day for weeks on end. In fact, I do right now. My breakfast, lunch and evening snack today (Monday thru Friday) are almost the same exact thing every day. So I took the same approach to the diet dinner meal. I wanted easy. I didn't want to even think about it. My evening meal was one can of spinach (I actually had this tonight!), one can of tuna mixed in the spinach, and an apple. To spice things up, I put tobasco sauce in the spinach/tuna mix. I love hot stuff and tobasco has zero calories. One item of note here...I was NOT measuring my meat at that time. When I looked at the can of tuna, I misread the amount of tuna because of the servings. Three weeks later I would find out that I undercut myself by 1.5 ounces of meat every night. Measure your food to make sure you are getting the right amount.

I went out for my first bit of exercise that night. I walked 2.6 miles. It took 45 minutes. I wasn't setting any records here, but I did sweat on that hot July night. Exercise is critical. It is so critical that I am giving it it's own blog entry.

When I was done I took my shower and went to watch a little TV. At 9PM, I had my snack. A snack! Wow. What diet includes snacks? This is luxury.

"Pfsllllllppppppppp."

Day one was over.

Next: YES you have to exercise.

Selfishly Selfless

2009-04-06T22:10:00.010-04:00

I go through life with a different perspective (I think) than most. I take a lot of things in this life seriously. I view those things, however, with a sense of humor that reflects society’s response to those same things. I do this because I have grown to realize that I live in this grand fishbowl with about 6 billion people and my view has about as much a shot at carrying weight as I do of winning the Powerball lottery. So in my small mind, levity is very important. I always write this blog with that in consideration. That said, today is not one of those days.

While the act of going on a diet is funny, and being on the diet is a laugh, and watching others on THEIR diets can be hysterical, my reasons for going on the diet are not funny at all. I took this diet with the utmost seriousness. The conditions that I experienced, leading up to my decision to go on this diet, were conditions that way too many people experience every day. They are conditions that, if ignored, can end your life.

Consider the fatal diseases that obesity (and while I was two tiny classification points from that term, I still put myself in that class) can cause. Congestive Heart Failure. Ever heard a real big person wheezing as they type on a keyboard? It’s not really an activity one would call exercise…so that person is dying. Enlarged Heart, from pushing the massive body around. Pulmonary Embolism, a blockage that can be caused by clot, or fat, or clumped cells and fluid. The circulatory instability can cause death. GERD, more commonly known as Acid Reflux, when untreated, can cause esophageal cancer. You get GERD (many people) from a gut that hangs so heavy in front of you that it actually bends your esophagus enough to break the natural seal between it and your stomach. When that happens, stomach acid backs into your esophagus and over time, can cause cancer. Fatty Liver Disease. Chronic Renal Failure. Skin Infections such as Carbuncles and Cellulitus. Stroke. Many types of Sleep Apnea. Get the picture? These are just the ones that can kill you. There are many others that just make you feel like crap. All the time.

So what did I have? Let’s see. GERD. Back issues with two cervical areas. Sinus issues (which happen when your immune system is overloaded). Edema (swelling that could lead to Lymph edema). Varicose veins. Yes, I know. It’s a real pretty picture. Not to even mention the way I could sweat through clothes just from a stroll around the neighborhood.

Let’s talk about some other items. Ever broken furniture? I have. Lots of it. Everything from wooden dining room chairs to outdoor lounges. Ever had a resin chair just shatter from under you? I mean so many pieces you need a broom to pick it all up? Ever been to a theme park where you couldn't fit on the ride? I have a funny story about that, but not today. Ever been to an old stadium like Fenway Park in Boston? It was made in the early 1900’s when people were not as big on eating for ‘entertainment’ as they are today. Try squeezing your ass in between the metal handles of a circa 1900 ballpark seat. Good luck. Is the picture a little more clear now?

Some have a good sense of humor about this. I did. I can laugh at myself and my shortcomings. I especially could when it was about my weight. I think it was because I always had in the back of my mind that I could lose it if I wanted to. I have been big most of my life but have lost a large amount of weight enough times to feel like it was a matter I could control. 95% of all overweight and super-overweight, do not have that feeling of confidence and control. That said, it is my opinion that when you make the decision to do something about your weight and for whatever reason drove it, that you should go at it with the seriousness that it merits. Something pushed you to that point. Don’t forget what it was.

I have a 13 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. I hope someday to be there to walk her down the aisle. I want to be able to go sailing and hiking alone with my son and maybe even share a beer (when he is old enough) and laughs with him. I want to be able to play with my grandchildren someday with the same enjoyment that I played with my own two kids because even though they are still young, I miss that time more than I can say. The diseases that go with obesity are fatal. They are in my way. They are in yours.

My very first class for the Miriam Hospital Weight Management Program was shocking. The subject of the meeting was how to live your life around people who just “have to feed you and won’t take no for an answer.” Seriously. How to exist around people who make foods “just for you” and think you should “just try some.” I listened to this being discussed by several women until I chimed in. I felt funny because this was my first class. I had lost zero pounds at this point and was the new person. But I jumped right in.

“I just need to clarify what I am hearing. Are you saying that you tell people you don’t want the food? You tell them that you are on a diet. And they still stick it in your face?” I said confusedly.

“Yes”, she said.

The behavior specialist said, “There are nice proper ways to handle this situation.”

I jumped in, “why?”

“Why what?” she said.

“Why be nice?” I responded. “Look, take a good look around this room. This isn't a game. I have listened to many of you today. You are here to remedy a situation that is jeopardizing your health and taking away quality years of your life. This is a hard thing for all of you. I haven’t lost weight yet on this diet but I have dieted successfully before. When someone asks me if I want food, the first time, I am polite in declining. When those offers continue and become taunts, being nice goes right out the window. I have no obligation to be nice anymore. The second time, they will get an appropriate glare from me. The third time, my response will be unforgettable for them and I guarantee it won’t happen again. You are doing something that will be positive for you and everyone else around you…and you better start being selfish about it. If you don’t, this diet is going to be long, it will hurt, and it may not be successful.”

The meeting ended shortly thereafter. I don’t know if any of them got my message. I know this though…I went into that diet to win. I went into it to be healthy and more importantly, to stay that way for the first time in my life. I hoped everyone understood. The months to come would tell me that some did understand but, unfortunately, many didn’t. I hope, if you are reading this, that you do.

More to come.

Blogger's Note: The photo above was taken by a very talented photographer friend of ours. If capturing a moment is important to you, please go to her website at: http://www.lalibertephotography.com/

Next: I am supposed to drink this stuff?

The Diet Contest...shhhhhh!

2009-04-02T21:51:00.015-04:00

The diet class taught me one thing. Ok, it taught me many things...but one thing stands out. Men and women are very different. I'm practically a genius, I know. I don't know why that guy wrote the hideous book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are...blah, blah, blah.' He could have saved a lot of time by attending a diet class.

Men are, by nature, competitive animals. We compete at everything. We compete at stupid things. You name it, we will make a contest for it. Any and all sports, a contest. How fast you can get somewhere driving, a contest. Drinking games? Seriously, do you think that was created by a woman? Who can barbecue the best? Spit the furthest? Burp the loudest? Real men care about these things.

Women are social animals. It started with tea parties...and just went downhill from there. Dress pretty, play nice, sugar and spice and all that crap. Oh, in the last ten to fifteen years the landscape has changed a little. But let's face it, if you are a woman, competing like a guy, 98 times out of 100, you will be treated like a guy. That may get you props...but it won't get you many dates. So the die has been cast.

I will say this, women who like to compete with men are not in the Diet Class. They don't drown their sorrows with Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia...they go kill some guy friend in racquetball and burn about 1200 calories doing it. They don't end up fat and they don't ever feel like victims of a 'weight-issue.' The women in the diet class were all nice women. I will say honestly though that most of them did not seem as committed to the diet as the men were. The men in diet class still had that guy-ish competitive fire. It was there. Buried and smoldering...but you had to be a guy to recognize it. And so it came to be, that that was how I would figure out the golden rule in diet class. A rule that had been profferred by the majority of that class, the women. DON'T EVER, EVER, EVEN UNDER DURESS, MENTION THE AMOUNT YOU LOST. What a weird rule! It wasn't stated...but it existed as sure as the oxygen in that room. You couldn't see it...but you knew it was there.

The class started with the Behavior Specialist (let's call her...Sharon) telling everyone that we start the class with a weekly "check in." The "check in" was the time when you introduce yourself and tell everyone how your week went. I am a data guy. I work with data and facts and revenue and expenses all day long. I have to describe business happenings in a complete, accurate, concise, EFFICIENT manner. That said, I just say it like it is. So I listened to the first woman.

"Hi, my name is Joan. I had...I guess...a so so week. I did all right. I didn't do as well as I wanted but I did lose some. So long as you lose something, you are going in the right direction, right?"

How much did you lose??? (I think in italics.)

"Hi, I'm Janie and I didn't do well at all this week. I will try harder next week."

How much did you lose??? or gain???

"Hi, I'm Mary and I went on a work thing last week and came back and had to go to a wedding. I have vowed that this week I am going to recommit myself to the diet."

Recommit? RE-commit?? As in 'start over?' Do you mean to tell me that people are on this diet and cheating? It costs $800 plus the co-pays and food! This is nuts.

"Hi, I'm Ray (my buddy). I did real well this week, I am happy and I reached a personal milestone."

"What was it?", I asked.

"I just did real well.", he said, anxious for the discussion to move on.

"How much did you lose?", I whispered.

"We don't talk about that.", he said tensely. His tight smile was betrayed by his eyes, nervously darting around the room.

Most of the room gave him those knowing nods. You know, the ones they use at private clubs when you self-police. The last time I saw something like this was in East Germany before the Berlin Wall was torn down. The oppressed folk in that lovely town had the same look on their faces. I sat there thinking, "I will tell you this, I am going to say how great I am doing." When I go on a diet, and I had been on a few, I don't mess around. I commit, I focus, I deliver. I can't KEEP the weight off, but dammit, I can hit my goal. And when I am in that mode...EVERYONE knows what I am doing. I tell everyone...because I expect...FULLY...to succeed. So if they thought I was going to adhere to the social dictum of the class, they had another thing coming. They were in my schoolyard now...they would have to learn to deal with me.

"Hi, my name is Dick and this is my first week. I haven't lost one pound yet but I just got my shakes and can't wait to get this thing started. My goal is 85 lbs and I fully expect to hit it in a very short time. I have been waiting 6 weeks to get into this program and I am ready to rock it."

Sharon just gave me an apologetic nod. "Well that's very...um...encouraging. Nice to have a new face in the group."

Nervous tension. Concerned glares. Biting lips. Pursed smiles. But wry looks from the guys. Knowing glances between the men. "He's here isn't he? It's him. He's the one."

I was there to free them from their emasculated forms. I was going to bring the heat to the kitchen. I was about to make this a miserable hell for the ones who had made the unspoken rules.

Welcome to the Diet Contest.

Next: The most selfishly unselfish thing you will ever do.

My First Weigh-In and Class

2009-04-01T22:48:00.027-04:00

Finally, after all the weeks of waiting, all the evaluations, and all the parties I had with food because I knew the diet was coming, the day had arrived. I would weigh-in, buy my prepared food, and join my 'modified-fast' group. The group wasn't filled with people who were all starting tonight. It was a revolving group. It was an evolving group. A group of people, some of whom had been there for what seemed like an eternity, and those who had just blasted in and lost the weight and were ready to leave. So I was joining a program...already in progress.

I had been the new kid all my life. This would be no different. My first experience being the new kid was in 6th grade. My catholic school of 5 years had to close and it was merged with a catholic school across town. They took our entire school and stuffed us together with a brand new set of kids. For good measure, they threw all of us in a hat and shook out the names (you would have thought this actually happened) and dropped us in one of two classes. So some of your old friends were with you, some were not. They put me in a seat right behind the girl who is today my wife. The finger of fate had pointed me out and stuck us together. For me, 6th grade would be the first in a long line of changes that would forever have me branded "the new kid."

"Ok class, we are all going to introduce ourselves and I want everyone to tell the class something about yourself." Let's start here. "Hi, I'm Tommy...blah, blah, blah" "Hi, I'm Liz..." "Hi, I'm Dick" Laughter. "What?", the teacher said. I was waiting for this, it always happened. "Dick...that's right, Dick...oldest son of two socially insensitive parents." Yeah baby, it was 1973 and the name Dick was just starting its entree into the English language with a brand new meaning. The dawn of a new era for me, like the age of Aquarius. The last year or two hadn't been easy. 6th grade is when you start to get wise to the social stuff. I had wished at times I could change the stupid name (and later I actually would for 4 years). I was named after my father, who was named after HIS father, who was named after HIS father. I was 4th in a long line of Dicks. The only one who really benefited from this was my younger brother, John, 11 months my junior. Let's face it, brothers don't really get along that well growing up and are always looking for an edge on each other. And if you are a younger brother in 1973 and your older brother is named Dick...well, face it, you just won the brass ring in the carousel of life. So with the blessing of a name like that, you learn how to be the new kid. If you can't laugh at yourself...well, you will be the only one not laughing, so you better just join in.

Before I could join the class, I had to weigh in and get my blood pressure taken. This was a big deal that day. This was the baseline against which all future progress would be measured. This was the data I was here to actually change. I weighed in at 286lbs and my blood pressure was 135 over...something. I never remember the bottom number, even though someone told me once it was the more important of the two. After you weigh in, you stand in line to get your food. They have one desk in one room and a palate of pre-mixed Optifast Shakes in cases. They also have the powdered mix, meal bars and soup (more on these two later). For privacy reasons (??) they make you stand behind a line outside the door and down the hallway a bit. This is to give the weight patients privacy as they buy their items. They then give you your shakes (and we all get the same amount of them because the diet is measured) and they give them to you in big transparent plastic bags. And then you leave and you walk BY the people in the corridor...who silently pretend NOT to see that you have exactly what THEY are about to purchase in your bag. The secrecy was hysterical. Like some perverted "don't ask, don't tell" policy. It would have been awesome if someone would have walked out with their see-through bag and half a bird from KFC with a canister of those big fluffy potatoes on the side (smothered in gravy, of course!).

So now, I finally got the chance to go to my class! I carried in my top secret see-through bag and pretended not to notice the OTHER see-through bags. Hey this was great! There was Ray, my buddy from work who lost all the weight! "How you doin' Ray?", I said excitedly.

"Great, lost about 70 lbs, tonight is my last night!"

The only guy that I knew in the class and he was ready to leave. He was going to the 'maintenance program" where you go when the diet goal is reached. They focus more on learning how to eat and keeping the weight off.

The meeting was run by a behavioral specialist and she had us all introduce ourselves. I have seen this movie before. "Hi, I'm Dick..." Silence. Wow. I guess people actually grow up and out of the whole "his name is Dick, ha ha" thing. It felt like Weight Watchers a little bit without the food talk all the time and, of course, no one ran out the door screaming. It also was roughly the same ratio of men to women as Weight Watchers...about 3 men to about 17 women. I didn't get it. Men don't care if they are fat or not? Women feel forced to bend to the societal underpinnings of needing to be thin to be beautiful? Whatever it was, none of these people seemed engaged. It's like they were dragged here. It bothered me. Because I was totally psych'ed up to be there. Why were they so quiet and down? Maybe because you have to pay a lot to be here and it has depressed them. Maybe they were starving...those little shakes were killng them. Maybe though, it's because they were somewhat unexcitable and boring? Perhaps...you be the judge. I just tell the stories.

Next: Is this a diet contest??

The Doctor's Visit - The Final Hurdle

2009-03-31T21:19:00.021-04:00

Ok, maybe I just expect too much. I went to the psych evaluation and thought that the person evaluating me should be the kind of person who has empathy for fat people, as in, the person should have been fat. She wasn't and obviously had never been. That should really have been the tipoff that I was in Seinfeld's 'Bizarro World.' Am I wrong here? Is it too much to expect that the people who profess expertise in something be the picture of what they profess? Where would Sylvia Browne be with all her psychic books if she wasn't even marginally psychic? Don't you expect that when you go to a mechanic, his car shouldn't be broken down in his driveway? When you go see Dr. Phil, do you expect that he is going to be a divorced psycho mess? So I go see the Doctor who RUNS the Weight Management Program and I expect him to be? Help me here. That's right. THIN! But instead, in walks the kind of jolly guy that I expected to see in the psych eval. Yessiree Bob, this paunchy little fellow runs the whole program. I am looking around for all those little shakes they showed us in orientation...maybe he is currently ON the diet. Maybe he is drinking those babies down four or five at a pop like Yoo Hoo and he ran out. Maybe he gets thin, then fat and then gets thin again, just to show the patients how well it works. I really have no idea. So I can't wait to hear what he has to say.

First, I have to tell you, I didn't really want to be there. When you are over 40 you do NOT want to go for anything called a "physical." I could take the EKG heart test with the super-glue stickers they use to remove the hair from your chest. I could take the tube they stuck down my throat when they did an endoscopy like Indiana Jones looking for an ulcer. I didn't even mind all that much when the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor stuck the tube in my nose and down the back of my throat...and I still have no clue how she was supposed to find the source of my allergies that way...but I didn't mind that much. So there I sat with my eyes just scanning the entire room feverishly for that little box that looked like tissues, but had those clear rubber gloves in it. I was here for the diet, not to make intimate friends.

The other thing is, no doctor has ever performed a physical on me where I thought they had the potential to discover anything that I couldn't already have imagined I had or had self-diagnosed on the internet. I always get the same questions during the appointment. Real penetrating questions. Family medical history (I wish they would type it into a permanent record...I didn't make it up last time and I don't expect it to change...much), job history (stressful?...and they are always surprised when you say 'yes') and recent emotional history (they want to make sure they can get out of that little room alive). Blood pressure. Listen to the heart ("take a deep breath...now don't breath normally"). Take the temperature. Someone, at some time, should explain to me how accurate those new thermometers are when they get dragged under your throat and across your forehead for 1.5 seconds. How the hell is it that you have to shake down the thermometer in your house for 5 minutes and suck on it for 3 minutes yet this thing can register your body temperature in 1.5 seconds? One time, seriously, the nurse said "96 degrees". I said, "shouldn't I be 98.6?" She said, "close enough." Medical science. As we reach the finale we always have the rubber glove handshaking...his glove, my shaking. Then there is the usual final diagnosis..."you need to lose some weight." Seriously, somewhere in Granada there is a third world medical school that is just pumping out the graduates.

Compared to my usual visit, this one was quicker and more efficient. My jolly doc just went through the standard questions, reviewed the blood test I had taken at their request, told me how the diet would work, and asked me if I had any questions. I had read a lot about the diet, no questions really. He said my weight and BMI (body mass index) had me right on the border-line between overweight and obese. Obese...gotta love that term...or better yet 'morbidly' obese. Nice to know they have a term for those times when obese just doesn't quite decribe you. Because I was border-line I got to choose between two programs, Full-Fast or Modified-Fast. The difference you ask? Modified-Fast is three 160 calorie shakes per day and one carefully measured meal. Full-Fast is 5 of those same shakes per day, all liquid. I chose Modified-Fast, no need to be extreme here right? I was quite happy. We did all this with my clothes on.

He told me I would have to get an exercise evaluation but that I could start the program without that...I could get that later. I chose a Thursday night program that I would have to attend once per week (more on that later). And so there I was, ready to start the program. Finally, after all the waiting and evaluations, I would start the program. I was actually excited.

DickThinks
As an aside from my diet, I should apologize because I missed blogging last night. You most likely don't care. I did, however, make a promise to myself to try to have an entry every weekday. Last night didn't work out. My very generous son gave me his cold...something I actually haven't had since before I began my diet last July. The sore throat was starting and I went into the cupboard in search of my old friend. There it was all the way in the back, hidden from months of non-use. That tall fat bottle with the clear plastic cup perched upside down on top of it. Yep, 40% alcohol and 60% heavy duty medicine. You know you are using stuff created by a pro when it comes with its own plastic shot-glass. You got it...Nyquil. The Nightime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffyhead, Fever, So You Can Forget Tomorrow Medicine. It's the only medicine I've ever taken where I can wake up 10 hours later and feel like I am wrapped in cellophane. It says on the side of the bottle that you should take it in bed. That's because if you don't you might pass out between the bathroom and your bedroom and hit your head on a coffee table or something. Nothing like medical lawsuits. So needless to say, I did a shot of that and was out like a light. Sometime this morning in the middle of a 10AM staff meeting I woke up and wondered what I had eaten for breakfast. But at no time did I remember blogging. So tonight, I blogged first. Now, off to my Nyquil. I am going to try to dream that the Conflicker virus does not infect anyone and that April Fool's day is uneventful! Until tomorrow...

Next: My First Weigh-In

Inside the Dim Recesses of my Mind

2009-03-29T14:10:00.055-04:00

When I think about probing around the inside of people's minds, it makes me nervous. Not probing around in my mind, probing around in other people's minds. You never quite know what makes someone else tick. You can guess. You can think you know. But let's face it, the nervous part here is that you never really know what is going on in someone else's head. So I always wonder, what makes a psychologist (or counselor etc.) ever feel like they have really figured out a person's problem and then lets them know that they have solved it. My conclusion...they don't. There are people out there who are just way too skilled in the fine art of deceit. The shrinks have a few more tools to help them get the insight. But if you have ever failed miserably at home repair you know one thing, a tool is only as good as the person using it. They have some exercises they can have you do to get some bad behaviors out of your system. And don't we all just love performing private exercises? At the end of the day, therapy/counseling always feels like a dance...with someone else leading. Sometimes it can be fun, but sometimes you step all over the other person's feet.

So to get into this Weight Management Program, I needed to talk to a counselor. About what, I had no clue. This was a diet right? A diet? And I needed to talk to a counselor. The government let me join the Army and I didn't have to talk to a counselor. They even let me play with guns...and hand grenades...and taught me how to use them. So for this diet, I needed a mental check up. This was going to be interesting.

Just so we are on the same page here, I am a fairly self-aware and open person. If you ask me a direct question, you are getting a direct answer. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go straight to the answer. So as I approached this counseling session, that was my mindset going in. Some people are not comfortable with this level of candor. Most counselors treat the world as if it had something to hide. THIS dance was going to be interesting.

I went back to the same building that I had gone to for the orientation. Everything that had to do with the Weight Management Program was in this building on the same floor. One whole floor dedicated to the science of turning the masses into smaller masses. One body at a time.

They sent me to a side office. Lot's of pictures. Very personal and comfortable. I wondered, was this the way the shrink liked it or was it set up this way on purpose? Great way to start here, paranoia. So in comes my weight counselor. I expected a jolly kind of person who could empathize with the whole weight thing (like Rosie O'Donnell or something). Instead I get someone looking more like an exercise Hitler from Fit-TV (apologies to all you 'PC' nazis out there). She was about 5 foot 2 inches tall and very wiry. She wore one of those digital watches that the triathlon runners wear...for all I knew she had just finished a race ten minutes ago. She had these lean muscular exercise arms where the veins are popping out all over. She wouldn't know an ounce of cellulite if it hit her right in the face. Seriously, what could she possibly need to know to evaluate me for this program? We were about as similar as a carrot stick and a side of beef.

She had a little questionnaire. I guess we were going to be working off of her sheet...the prescribed Shrink tool of the day. The questions started and I was as candid as always.

"How would you describe your eating habits?"

"My eating habits?", I asked. "Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks...same as most I guess."

"Do you binge eat?"

"Binge? You mean like in spurts? No. I eat pretty consistently."

"Do you eat food at times when others aren't around?"

"Sure. And also when they are around. I like food...I don't really care who is around."

For the most part, the questions seemed pretty normal. And then...

"Do you hide food in your home so you can eat it when others aren't looking?"

"You mean, like, behind furniture or something? It wouldn't last long, I have a dog. Seriously, look at me...I weigh 285 lbs...do you think I would be fooling anybody? I can just hear it now, 'gee whiz, Dick never eats but he seems to be increasing in size geometrically.' I'm sorry, maybe I am missing something here."

"Do you purge yourself after eating?"

"Purge? As in, 'throw up?' If I did, wouldn't I be a lot thinner? Is this why you asked the question about hiding food? Do you have people in this program who eat, vomit, and then dive behind the couch to eat where they can't be seen? And, wouldn't they want to vomit again after eating the hidden food? Especially if the dog licked it?"

"Well, it IS a problem for some..."

"Well, look at me. It obviously isn't MY problem."

"This diet is relatively expensive, how do you feel about that?"

I was starting to detect a pattern in the questions. People who sabotage their own efforts. We were obviously looking for people who could rationalize their way out of murder.

"How do I feel? Look, let's get something straight. I want to go on this diet. I am fat. Call it what it is. It's not overweight...overweight is when your pants are a little too tight. Fat is when you need expandable waist lines and your waist size is two times your pants length. I don't play the victim card. FAT didn't just happen to me. I have mirrors in my house. I don't fit well in any of them. I know how I got this way. I am very well aware of the amount of food I have plowed into this body. I realize the diet is expensive. I didn't get this big on Lite beer...I like the Brown Ales and they aren't cheap. I have even brewed some very high calorie stuff myself! I eat in restaurants and, as you can see, have never carried out a doggie-bag. I didn't wake up one morning, open the closet, and have fat just leap out and attack me. I know how I got this way because I can remember every stinking buffalo chicken wing and french fry that I have shoved into this pie-hole. I am responsible for how I look and I will be responsible for fixing it. Understand?"

She looked a little surprised at my outburst. It seemed to let a little tension out of the room though. She said, "look, I get it. I have to ask these questions to fill out the form."

She looked at the form and smiled and then looked at me and said in a whisper, "have you ever thought of...killing anyone?"

What? I leaned close to her and, with a squint in my eyes, whispered back, "nooo."

She continued this weird pattern, "have you ever thought of...hurting someone?"

Again I whispered, "yessss...but I would hope that the moral fabric of society would keep me from actually doing it."

She laughed. Finally she said, "is there anything secret that you want to tell me? Something you really need to say?"

"Why? Because I have been so secretive with you up to this point?"

She laughed again.

I guess I passed because they let me in the program. I felt very safe. I never felt for one moment that anyone in my program class would hurt or kill me. Some of them, however, did strike me as 'food hiders.' Just kidding.

Next step, the physical. Nothing like a good physical for a man over forty. If you are in that category, you get the joke.

Next: Finally, A Doctor's Approval

Orientation aka Futurestate

2009-03-26T22:16:00.018-04:00

"Good Morning, Miriam Hospital Weight Management Clinic. How may I help you?"

If ever there was a loaded question. How may you help me? If you could SEE me, you wouldn't even ask. "Yes, a friend of mine referred me to your program...I guess you do some kind of orientation...I would like to get in there as soon as I can."

"Ok...the next orientation is in three weeks, do you want me to schedule that one for you?", she said chipperly.

ASAP, kept running through my mind. This was obviously not a sales organization. These guys are not really understanding the whole 'get them while they're hot' concept. "Uh, I was really hoping for something sooner."

"Sorry, there are a lot of people trying to get into this program and there is a big wait."

McDonald's is going to go out of business, I thought. "Fine, let's make the appointment please, thanks."

I don't know about you but when I make up my mind to do something, I really feel the need to do it right now. Not tomorrow. Not three weeks from now...RIGHT NOW. So I waited. I watched Ray in the cafeteria walking around in his new slim body. I can do this just like him. Just not right now, apparently. I was really anxious, this damn program better be good.

The day finally arrived sometime in June and I went after work. The directions were terrible and I ended up in the wrong building. By the time I found the right one, I was 5 minutes late. I knew there was a group of people already in the room and there is nothing I hate more than being the 'interrupter.' I signed in at the desk and went down the hall to the room. The door was closed and I could hear someone talking inside...great, "hey everyone, stop what you are doing! Look at me, I'm fat and need help!"

As I opened the door and walked in, I entered from the front of the room. About 25 people were facing me, and every single one of them heard a loud gasp escape from my mouth. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Whoever set this room up had placed the chairs touching each other side by side. NORMAL chairs mind you for NORMAL sized asses. It had been a pretty hot day and many were in shorts and short sleeve shirts. Here I was, standing there staring at an ocean of flesh. These people were wedged in and flowing all over each other. When one moved, they all moved, like one big wave. Before you think I sound awful cruel, I was about to join the group and become the next wave in the ocean. I sat on the end and tried to make myself look as small as possible.

I could not NOT stare at this group. So many were really really huge. Some were smaller than me, maybe 5 or 6 of them, but most were bigger. I couldn't get the thought out of my head that, if I didn't do something, I was looking at my future. I knew there was a cost to this diet but I made up my mind then and there that it would have to be a really big number for me to walk out that door and not participate.

The program was covered partially by my medical plan. That was good. There were going to be doctor visits every two weeks which would mean a co-pay (but the visit was covered by my plan). There was a fee to use the facilities and cover the education classes (not covered by the plan but, in hindsight, the real value to the plan was buried in these classes). There was a cost to the food. OK, this had to be the real burden here right? They warned us, this could be expensive. The diet, and I was on something called 'modified fast', consisted of three shakes per day and one very tightly defined meal. The shakes cost $86 for a case of 24 pre-mixed shakes...so about $3.60 per meal. By my count, I would go through 21 of those shakes per week. The cost of the program with the medical coverage would end up being about $800 plus all the co-pays, plus the meal costs. OK, it was somewhat expensive...until I started adding up my food costs. I chalked up the $800 to years of stupid eating and bad decisions. Penalty fee. Believe it or not, if I was 'real' with myself, the cost of the meals would actually be a cost savings! I hadn't built this ocean liner of a frame on Lean Cuisine snacks...I had spent a small fortune destroying my health.

They then discussed the shakes. Perfectly balanced little shakes in Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry. You could get pre-mixed or powder and whip them up yourself. Oh, and they were 160 calories each. Huh? Wait, three shakes a day at 160 a pop comes to...18, carry the one, 480 calories per day??!! What is in the other meal, a Whopper? A Big Mac? The shakes are called Optifast 800. Now I knew why. 800 calories per day.

"Don't worry though, after the first couple of days you won't be hungry", they said.

"And how is that?", I asked. I was looking for some kind of encouragement here.

"Because you will be in starvation mode."

"And that differs from actual starvation, how?"

"Don't worry, we have had tremendous success here and we will explain it all to you, today is simply an orientation."

Ok, I got it, they would take care of me. "So when do we get our shakes?", I asked.

"Oh that won't be for at least three weeks...you have to set up your appointments. Physical exam, exercise screening and psychological evaluation...all that stuff."

Three weeks? Three MORE weeks? Are we actually going to lose weight sometime soon at the Weight Management Program? And a psych eval??!! What the heck was going on here?

I would soon find out.

Next: A Psych Eval...really?

Diet, Diet...Gotta Find a Diet

2009-03-25T22:38:00.025-04:00

There I was, 285 lbs. I knew what I had to do, right? Gotta find a diet. I couldn't possibly begin to consider losing weight without a diet. No one on God's green earth loses weight without the diet. How much weight did I want to lose? Absolutely no clue. How fast could I lose it? No idea. How fast did I want to lose it...ASAP.

OK. I had at least established a timeline. ASAP. I was brilliant.

First things first. Did I really need a diet? I mean, there are other options right? There is that Gastric bypass surgery that Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips, daughter of the Beach Boy?) had. She lost a lot of weight. Even posed for Playboy. Then I saw some more recent photo's...I don't think she will be back for the anniversary issue. How could you possibly put weight on when your stomach has been basically shrunk to the size of an avacado? You must have to eat 24/7 and never move! Well the thought of that method just was plain scary.

Ok, how about liposuction? I knew only one thing about that process, and it had to be true because I saw it on "Nip/Tuck" (the Fox show with the perverted plastic surgery doctors), and that was that it was maybe the grossest thing I had ever seen. A plastic pipe with a point on it and a huge vacuum (it looked like a shop vac for the basement when it floods) at the other end with a retainer that, of course, was see-through so you could see all the fat being sucked up. They jabbed and jabbed the thing into this huge person. Left, right, up, down...jab, jab, jab. I half expected to see a lung get sucked out. How do you NOT damage major organs?

All right, a diet was sounding better with each passing moment. Now the real chore, how to pick the right diet. I should say for the record that I was no stranger to diets.

I did my first diet in 1972 at 10 years old. I was in 5th grade. I was also in very "husky" pants. I remember this because the Wrangler jeans actually said it right on the tag. "Husky 34". They should just have said "Elephant 34", they could have been the very first pair of Grr-animals. The doctor told my mother I needed to go on a diet. He told her all the rules (because diets have rules...strict rules) and gave her the list of foods I could and couldn't eat. My mother was about 35 lbs overweight at the time...I was in great hands. I lost a little weight. I lost a lot of self esteem. I learned some very covert military tactics on how to eat food without being seen.

I did a diet in 1979. At 17 years of age, I was 220 lbs and about 5'10". As a Junior in High School I was not what one would call "Marketable." No social life to speak of. I decided I was not going to spend my Senior year like I spent my Soph and Junior years. In 4 months, I lost 60 lbs and grew 2 inches. My body was probably relieved from the weight loss. From May of '79 to September of '79 I ate one small meal a day and nothing else but fruit and water. I began exercising like a fiend and by the end of summer could run 10 miles at a clip. I weighed 160 lbs. I got contact lenses. My friends didn't know who I was. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. I also got dates. Mission accomplished. But the weight didn't stay off. I hadn't changed my lifestyle, I had just modified it for 4 months.

About 1990, I went on another diet. I was at approximately 255 then and now a fully grown 6 foot tall adult. This time, it was Weight Watchers. My buddy Dan had been going and doing ok. He suggested it and off we went. He told me we would weigh in and not stay for the meetings. "Why?", I asked. Dan is not one for big talk..."it sucks."

"Well why don't we stay, just this once?"

"I have stayed before. You'll see. We can stay."

We weighed in and sat down in a group of about 30. I looked around and counted 4 men. Then it started. Discussion about food. What they loved about food. What they missed about food. What foods they could still eat if they didn't eat other things. Food they could swim in...it was endless. It reached its crescendo when, and this is 100% true, a woman stood up screaming "I can't take this anymore" and bolted out the door and into the parking lot. The last time I saw her, she was moving like a bat out of hell toward the McDonald's on the other side of the parking lot. Dan and I never went back to the meetings. We DID continue to weigh-in weekly. The discipline of weighing (and paying $10 to stand on a scale) kept me in line and I went back to jogging/running. I lost about 45 lbs.

I did a high-protein low carb diet around 2003...I lost about 35 lbs. But I started that diet at about 265 and got to about 230 lbs.

Seeing a pattern here? In May of 2008, I weighed 285 lbs. I was kind of afraid of the next diet. Not because I thought I couldn't lose the weight...because I was afraid that by 2010 I might weigh 330 lbs!!! Hey, I can do math, I understand trends.

So what diet should I pick? Do you know that if you search the web there is a web site that lists a complete list of diets? The complete list...right. There are about 300 diets on this list. If you don't believe me, look for yourself at

Diet List

Are you kidding me? If you ask people where you work if they are on a diet, do you know how many people say 'yes'? Most. And with 300 diets out there, well, I must be one of the few fatties left in the world right? Wrong. Do I have to quote the obesity figures to you? Just go to Walmart and take a look at some of God's beautiful creatures waltzing up and down the aisle. We are having a party folks...at our own expense. Picking the right diet was the key to success here.

So I was in the cafeteria at work and I saw a guy I knew well. About 4 months earlier, he and I had been in a class together and he was in awful shape. Acid Reflux, back issues, Sleep Apnea...wait that was me! Just kidding, it was him and his story was all too familiar. But, he looked like the shell of the person I had seen 4 mths ago.

"What have you been doing, Ray?"

"I am on a medically supervised diet at Miriam Hospital in Providence (Rhode Island), and it's called Optifast." It was the diet Oprah went on years back. He had lost a phenomenal amount of weight very quickly and looked and felt fantastic. "It's not just a diet though Dick, it's an education to change how you think about food and how you live your life." All his symptoms of illness were gone. I needed more information.

I got on the phone and made a call that would change my life.

Next: Orientation!

The Tipping Point

2009-03-24T22:23:00.018-04:00

I was looking out this little window watching the highway pass by in the opposite direction. A lot of things went through my mind, occasionally distracted by the siren that kept blaring over and over. "Do you think you have enough life insurance?" "Will this keep me from being able to do my job?" "I wonder if heart surgery will hurt much?" It was almost surreal. I didn't really have a pain in my chest, just discomfort. The real pain in the ass was the dizziness I had felt and the low blood pressure that was causing it. This was going to be a fairly bad day.

They checked me in the hospital for heart issues. They ran my blood gasses looking for signs of a heart attack...nothing. They put me on the EKG monitor...nothing. They gave me intravenous fluids. I filled a urine container. Nothing. Are you kidding me? It HAS to be something.

As the little doctor with the Island accent entered my curtained corner of the ER, he said "do you know what is wrong with you?"

"No, what?", I responded hopefully.

"You are fat."

"Seriously, eight years of grad school and that's the best you can come up with?"

I looked in the mirror. Not exactly the guy that married my wife 20 years ago. 285 lbs and it looked like I was carrying most of it in the form of a child under my man-boobs.

They sent me for a treadmill test to stress my heart. They put dye in me to see if there were clots or clogs. You guessed it...nothing. My regular physician sent me for some tests. The results? Back issues causing shooting nerve pain and acid reflux. These things can cause heart attack symptoms. Awesome. I can breathe again, it's not my heart.

Now you would think that that would have done it right? "Where's the phone number to Jenny Craig?" "Maybe that diet that Dan Marino is on where they ship the food right to your house...yeah that'll do it." Nope. I went right back to the same old habits. The result? I actually took one more ambulance ride...thought it was finally the heart. It wasn't. Surprise! Acid reflux had me sleeping on my side. That was not too tough since my huge beer belly kept me from lying on my stomach anyway. Allergies all of the sudden. Legs swollen below the knees. Back pain.

That should have really got me to do something, right?

Nope.

So there I was, May 2008. The electric breaker switch in the kitchen at the sink had popped and I had to actually replace the entire outlet...it wouldn't reset. So I go out and get the hardware and I am going to install it. Being the natural talent with home fix-it projects that I am, I killed all the power in the house. It was a pretty hot day in the low 80's. If you have ever tried to do this, you know exactly how irritating this can be. It's hard enough getting all the wires to connect right and get the unit back in the wall. The whole time you worry that you will set your house on fire due to your stupidity. But there is an added element of difficulty here...the outlet is under the cupboard, wedged into a tiled wall, and has 4 wires (not 2 like the normal ones). Swell.

So now I am bent and turning to angle myself under the cupboard. I am trying to get the wires straight. I finally accomplished that feat and all I have to do is get the screws to line up and screw it in. Once, twice, three times. I ask the kids to go outside and play because I can't curse in front of them and I am about to become "R" rated. Finally, as I am positioned in the most contorted way, the screw catches, but not smooth. So I am turning this thing and muscling it when a drop of sweat falls from my nose to the counter top. Then another. Then another. A puddle is forming.

That was it. That's right...that was it. The moment. I couldn't believe it. I was sweating while turning a screw. TURNING A SCREW. That was the moment that would put me over the edge and have me vow to make a change that I am still hoping will last the rest of my life.

I am going to take you all on a journey. One that took me from the before picture above to the person I am today.

I hope to inspire you. I hope to entertain you. I hope to educate you.

But I will not, absolutely WILL NOT, baby you about weight loss.

I have found that this goal of finally finding the way to maintain my health and happiness is the most selfish AND self-less thing I have ever done. We start tomorrow.

If you are reading this because you have had the epiphany that you need to lose weight and have some time today, get off your ass and go for a walk. You can make this the first day of the rest of your life.

Next: Finding the Diet!