“When Work and Weight Collide” Insanity: Day 33 of 60

I work at a company that has college students as its primary market.  When you think of weight and a college student, what comes immediately to mind?  For most, it’s the “Freshman 15.”  So my company is looking for Blog content for the summer, and they had a bunch of folks from the Marketing group all sitting around and pick up the various topics.  Oddly, no one took that topic.  Here’s the skinny…I am not in Marketing, I’m in technology.  I ‘overheard’ their meeting and picked up on the fact that no one took the topic.  So I emailed the Product Manager and asked him if he would mind if I wrote it.  There was a little skepticism, but he said, ‘okay.’

I try not to let my Health, Fitness, Coaching and Blogging life interact with my work life.  There are only a handful of people who even know how much blogging I do.  That said, today we discuss the Freshman 15!  PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND...I had to write this for a particular audience with a particular slant and voice.  So here goes...

The Freshman 15.  Fact, Fiction, the whole Freakin’ Enchilada.

It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?  Doesn’t it feel like just yesterday that you were starting High School?  It started out weird because you didn’t know many people, then, suddenly, it felt like home.  Then, in a flash, your boyfriend gave you flowers, you graduated, and now, you’re leaving  and doing this all over again.  In a bigger place.  Crazy, right!?

You pack up your pictures thinking, “Wow, that prom dress was gorgeous.”  Still can’t believe dad actually shelled out the cash for it.  Remember how you were so nervous and lost all that weight in the spring?  It cost $60 just to get the gown taken in so it didn’t fly off on the dance floor.  You grab the baggy sweatpants off the nightstand and jam them in the box.  You want to hear something scary? By Christmas, those sweatpants won’t be so baggy and that prom dress will be a memory.  Wait….WHAT!!??

That’s right.  Wrap your head around that for a second.  As you walk through the door of your new college around Labor Day, you’ll be greeted by your roommate and the Freshman 15.  What’s the Freshman 15?  It’s a term used, sorry, mostly for girls.  It’s the 15 extra pounds of flesh and cellulite you’ll be slogging home around Thanksgiving or Christmas time.  It’s waiting for you at college like a creeped out Facebook stalker.

No, no. Not me.  That won’t happen to me.  It’s a joke, right?  That’s just a myth.

Is it?  No.  It’s not.  You remember all those activities that you did the last four years in high school?  All of the sudden, that’s going to turn into studying and partying.  Sit. Study. Sit. Eat.  Sit. Study. Sit.  DRINK.  Sit. Study. Sit. EAT AND DRINK!  That’s a catchy little rhythm isn’t it?  Do you see ‘run’ or ‘exercise’ in there anywhere?  Uh…nope.

There’re a lot of reasons for the Freshman 15.  First reason:  no real activity.  Totally true.  You’ll be less active.  Second reason:  eating.  Eating everything.  Late at night, in the dorm room, in the cafeteria…it’s never ending.  Whenever anyone extends a slice of pizza, kiss it goodbye.  Don’t worry, you’ll see it again.  At Christmas.  It’ll be waiting at home in your bathroom mirror.  Last reason?:  Alcohol.  No.  Not that.  There’s no alcohol in college, the drinking age is twenty one!  I’m hoping you recognize the sarcasm in that last sentence.

So why just girls?  Why should only girls worry about this?  Because life’s not fair, that’s why.  It’s the ‘tough $h!t’ rule…you just have to deal with it.  Guys will gain fifteen too probably.  But fifteen on a guy looks rugged and it’s not that much relative to their total body size.  And guys wear baggy jeans, not booty shorts.  Get the picture?  Fifteen extra pounds on a chick has you going from Taylor Swift to Adele in four short months.  No one would notice the poundage if you looked like Adele and could sing like her, but you can’t carry a note, so you’re screwed.

No. C’mon!  Is fifteen pounds even physically possible?  Yes it is.  Let’s do a little math.  I know, you’re a psych major now.  You thought you would never do math again.  Bear with me.  There are about 15 weeks in a semester, so that would be a pound a week.  A pound is 3500 calories.  That’s 500 extra calories per day.  Decrease your activity levels, toss in some booze and add a donut per day (Dunkin Donuts Blueberry Crumb Donut equals 500 calories on the nose).  Still think 500 extra calories a day is hard?

All right.  Enough already.  How do I keep this from happening?  There are some things you can do.  Get the butt moving.  Keep the butt moving.  Find the gym.  Do pilates…yoga…aerobics…the dorm stairs.  Find something and do it regularly.  Do something that keeps your metabolism up and going.  Make some eating rules and stick to them.  Here’s a few for you to think about.  Stay away from the starch and fried foods.  No Pasta, white bread, hamburgers, etc.  Stay away from the sugar.  Avoid desserts and meat dishes wrapped in sweet sauces.  Eat salads, vegetables, and fruits as much as possible and have a good protein rich breakfast.  Avoid the booze.  The extra calories are killer and the munchies will kill any of the above mentioned rules because, frankly, once you are three drinks in, you won’t care.  Last, bring a scale to school.  If any of this matters to you, keep an eye on your weight.  You don’t want to go four months without standing on the scale.  At least, not without meds for depression.

Do you care about this?  Maybe you don’t.  But if you want to avoid remarks about the Thanksgiving Float (after you realize they aren’t talking about the Macy’s Parade) you should heed my advice.  The facts, the fiction and the whole freakin’ enchilada.  Just don’t eat the enchilada.