How to Use this Blog Site


This blog is about my battle with weight and the journey that ensued.

Along the way are some not so subtle side tales but, for the most part, it is in chronological order. If you want the story from the beginning, start on March 24, 2009 at "The Tipping Point", and read your way to today. Thanks and best of luck on your journey.


If you want to keep up with this blog, please become a 'follower' on the right and you will get updates when I add something.

Friday, April 27, 2012

P90X: "Courage" Day 84 of 90


Did you ever see something that you know you’ve seen before, but have that one moment strike you intimately?

I have an office in Boston, Massachusetts.  It’s on a very busy street with a window that looks right onto the sidewalk.  As I was sitting in a meeting yesterday, in thought about some business thing, I watched a man walk down the sidewalk.  He was walking quickly with a long stick in front of him, moving it left and right in a tapping motion on the sidewalk.  He was looking skyward and had a big smile on his face.  Maybe you have picked this up already from my description…he was blind.

As I sat there, I thought, “Where can this guy have to go that badly that he would take his disability into the crowded and traffic heavy streets of Boston?”  It struck me how precarious an act I was seeing on the part of this blind man.  As I rolled my thoughts around in my head, I thought about how this person must approach every day.  I thought about the courage it must take to blindly stroll into the unknown and the risks involved.  What an incredibly courageous person it takes to not let those risks deter their journey.

It triggered many thoughts about people in my life that have demonstrated that same courage.

My friend and Beachbody coach, Lisa Barker, who has survived cancer and battles every day to create a condition in her life that will keep something like that from ever happening again.  I thought about all the cancer survivors that I know, Shea GIbney, Teri Findlay, Rosie Anderson.  I thought about the ones that fought long and hard, only to lose…like Bob Grenon.

My new Facebook friend Jaime Grossman who, after getting to a point in her life where her physical condition became precarious and dangerous, grabbed the reins and made permanent changes.  Although she has made dramatic positive changes, she is still left with the residual physical damage.  She is, however, resigned to winning the slow journey to fix the remaining issues as well and does so with an incredible optimism.

My new Facebook friend Nancy Reinhardt who, when told her body was failing her and that she may never be able to have the freedom of movement that others had, made permanent and lasting changes to her physical condition over the last few years.  She jogged one mile the other day for the first time in years.

My friend Dave Potter who, after doing two tours in Afghanistan with the military, went back for a third tour voluntarily “because there are many who can’t do this, but I know I can.”  His convoy was hit with an RPG in his second tour and he suffered hearing damage that will never return.  That not only didn’t stop him, it hardened his resolve to return.

My dad who, after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease at the age of forty, spent the next thirty years fighting with the terminal illness.  He never stopped pushing himself to the limit of his endurance every single day.  He took a cocktail of about 50 to 60 pills a day.  Every three hours he had to take six or seven pills.  Some of them helped him move, some of them offset the toxic effects of the rest of the pills.  But he never gave in.  Ever.  He said once that he “didn’t want Parkinson’s to win.”  It didn’t.  He actually died of an infection caused from an implant that had been put in to stop a clot.

When I write about my own journeys with my weight loss, I do it with passion.  But I will be the first to tell you that it pales in comparison to the things that many have had to overcome in their lives.

On the other hand, there are many who look at something like a P90X program and think, “Oh my God, I could never do that.  It’s way too hard.”

I guess that’s the point of my blog today.  I know I spend a lot of time encouraging everyone who reads this to work harder at improving their physical condition for the journey ahead of them.  Your physical condition is a big deal.  When it fails you, you may feel like everything else is coming down around you.  It is also difficult.  But it is not THAT difficult.  When I think about some of the courageous people I know in my life, I have to…and YOU have to…put things like this in perspective.

I don’t think I have done something miraculous by conditioning myself this way.  Not in the least.  In fact, I KNOW it is something everyone can do.  Next to the people mentioned in this blog, my story is bland.

So, when you think about your physical condition and think improvements are hard, I get it.  But to be candid, it is not that hard for you.

If this is the hardest thing you ever do in your life, God Bless You.

Try P90X or any other fitness routine that positively changes your life.  You will feel great and put yourself in a position to be healthy and happy for the rest of your life.

If you look at the stories of courage above, there is one thread common to all of them.  The thing that I am asking you to go out and claim, a healthy physical condition, is what they all bravely have had to work to reclaim.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.  Have a great weekend and thanks to all of those who have shared their stories and inspired me.  

Thursday, April 26, 2012

P90X: "Excuses and Rationalizations" Day 83 of 90


Life Insurance Fat Diet
There is nothing that makes you feel more guilty than when someone accuses you of having an ‘excuse.’  “What’s your excuse?”  Doesn’t that make you feel like you’re getting out of something you SHOULD be doing?  Rationalization sounds so much better.  It gives the perception that you have thought about this a little and weighed the costs and benefits.  Is there a real difference?  Not really.

I had a zillion reasons in my past for not doing something about my physical condition.  No problem at all.  Work was too stressful and I needed to rest when I got home.  I wasn’t really in that bad shape relative to others my age.  I can do it later.  The television writers have put in so much time on their craft that I would be robbing them of their work if I didn’t at least watch two hours of TV per night.  The kids required too much work to maintain while also trying to have a job (that actually is the only one that really has credence, but you can find ways to work around it). 

I was good at coming up with ‘rationalizations.’  Really good.  So good in fact that my skill resulted in a 285 pound human being that had a 270 cholesterol level and acid reflux so bad it made me think I was going into cardiac arrest after eating anything breaded with coffee.

That’s the problem with rationalization.  You think you’re balancing your life but you're really just moving necessary priorities for preferred priorities.  Life, however, has a way of being the true equalizer when it comes to balance.  You can’t rationalize away life.  It finds a way to achieve that balance in spite of you.  When you don’t take care of yourself, you don’t miraculously end up looking like Jack LaLanne…or for those historically challenged, Hugh Jackman.  You end up looking more ‘rounded.’

I finally made my physical state a priority when life handed me a note.  It said, “You are running out of time.”  That was literally and figuratively.  There were many indicators on my personal note but I will share one with you that was very sobering.

Have you ever applied for a life insurance policy?  That one is a real eye opener.  Life insurance companies  are very unforgiving.  They are literally looking at every facet of your life because their actuaries are gambling on how long you are going to live.  If you want a 15 year policy at age 45, they are trying to figure if you can make it past sixty.  They have a lot of money riding on it and will not change their assessment based on an excuse or rationalization.

They look at your blood.  Your cholesterol.  Your blood pressure.  Your weight.  They look at your family history and they check your medical records for any warning signs.  They want to know about your bad habits and your exercise routines.  They are excruciatingly complete.

It is pretty scary when they hand you the cost of your fifteen year policy and it's a very big number every month.  In fact, you may not even be able to afford it.  Why?  Because you are a massive gamble.  Their actuaries have taken all your data and calculated their private estimate of the expiration date for your birth certificate.  And it's not good.

You have no rationalization left after that.  If you try, you are fooling no one.

If you decide to rationalize your physical condition, it catches up to you.  It caught up to me.  I have spent four years making corrections.  I was one of the lucky ones…I didn’t do real damage to my body that couldn’t be reversed.  I know many who have not been so lucky.  It is actually possible to get so out  of shape and in a bad way that you cannot even fix it.

I almost did that.  I was so out of shape I couldn’t exercise anymore.  I had to go on a medically supervised liquid diet to correct the situation.  It was at that point that I decided “never again.”  I was going to fix it once and for all.

You don’t have to do that.  You can take advantage of my experience.  My story is all too familiar.  It does have one difference though.  I fixed it.  That is rare.  Put that one into the rationalization machine...it should tell you one thing...

Move some priorities around and take care of your physical condition.  If you don't, you may not be around long enough to see the other priorities through.

Best of luck.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

P90X: "It's Better To Burn Out, Than It Is To Rust" Day 82 of 90


When I went on vacation, I took quite a few days off from P90X.  I didn’t do the exercise routines from the program, but I did exercise a lot.  I burned a lot of calories.  In the 9 day stretch, I did only one Kempo X and one Core Synergistics.  I did Ab Ripper X twice.  You would think that only a week wouldn’t matter all that much, especially with all the exercise I actually did.  But that is not true.

I am paying for it this week.  I managed to do all my sets with the same number of repetitions and weight, but I feel sore again.  So the muscles, in only nine days, atrophied a little.  Nine days.

This brings me to the topic of the day.  As you get older, it does not take much to get soft and weak.  It takes work, consistent work, to keep your body fit.  You can’t take months, weeks or even days off and think you can still do the same level of work.  When you stop, you will have to make that trip back up the hill to reach your peak levels.

Now I’ll be the first one to say that the routine I am doing is very demanding.  In fact, it says it so much on the DVD that I may be the last to say it.  But the past “off” week has shown me the value of doing this every day.  You have to form a habit for fitness.  As I get to the end of the program…and I am approaching the end of P90X…I have to consider what the next thing is.  I am thinking that I will do the P90X Third Phase another time.  So I will be adding five more weeks to the program when I am done.  I can still see area’s that I want to improve and lean out.  The bottom line, however, is that I don’t want to stop.  I don’t want to stop because I know what it will mean.

I have considered changing up the routine a little…there are some things I don’t like…like the Yoga X.  Too long and too tedious.  I want something that burns a few more calories.  I am considering substituting Cardio X for it.  So I am considering the next step here.

The real issue is not the “what” is next  question…it’s the fact that I have to continue.  I know I do.  I want to.  When I was a kid, I loved to listen to Neil Young.  He had a song called “Hey, Hey, My, My.”  It’s funny how you don’t really understand some songs until they become you.  He must have been facing the proposition of growing older when he wrote the lyrics, “It’s better to burn out, than it is to rust.”

Don’t go quietly.

As I learned this week following a week off…it doesn’t take long to rust.  Over forty years old, it happens quite quickly.  It makes you realize how easy it is to become lethargic and comfortable…and what the real price of that is.  You actually give up a lot when you just give in.

Hey, hey, my, my.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

P90X: "It's Not About Looking Good, It's About Feeling Great" Day 81 of 90


There are no mirrors on a mountain peak.  That’s all I can say.

For many of you who are in my current age group, you may be looking at P90X or any other Beachbody product (Insanity, the Brazil Butt Lift, Thirty Minute Power , etc.) and thinking that having a body that looks like those people on TV is not that important to you.  And it probably isn’t.

So, based on that rationalization, you may simply think about the program and immediately dismiss it.  I need to say this right up front.  The value of this program is not that it will make you look good.  The value is that it will make you ultimately feel great.  You will be putting yourself physically in a position to live happier for the rest of your life.

There are no mirrors on a mountain peak.  As I spent last week hiking and climbing, the only thought that went through my mind was, “I feel great.”  No kidding.  I didn’t go look in windows for my reflection and say, “You look mahvelous!”

The marvelous part of the experience was that, as a thirty degree mountain incline was sitting in front of me, I felt so strong that I could trot up the hill.  All I could think of was the time spent doing plyometrics and the power it had given my legs and hip flexors.  I was literally flying up the hills.  At one point, I passed someone and heard them say, “Show off.”  It was in jest of course, it wasn’t malicious.  But as I looked back at them, they were younger than me and had obviously spent time doing the things I used to do.

How did they feel?  I knew.  I used to feel that way.  Tired.  Sweaty.  Wondering if I could do the next hike.  Wondering if I WANTED to do the next hike.  Hoping I had another clean and dry shirt in my pack.  Wishing I had brought less stuff cause the pack was heavy.  Too exhausted to actually look around and focus on the awesome spectacles I had come to see, and not inspired to lift my camera.  Wondering where I had put the life insurance policy and whether my wife knew where it was.  Wondering why there were no gravestones on the hill and where they could bury me if I collapsed.

Okay, so maybe they didn’t think all of those things.  But they thought some of them.

The bottom line is, you are never too old to put your physical shell back in shape.  You may have done some damage to your body along the way.  Maybe that was your ‘ah hah’ moment that made you consider a better physical condition.  Let’s face it, aching joints, muscle pulls, back issues, acid reflux…those are actually the common ones.  If you have spent a lifetime of largesse, maybe you are dealing with some more complicated things.  Type Two Diabetes, cholesterol levels that require drugs, high blood pressure, hip or knee replacement, and, believe it or not, the list can get worse.

If you have none of these things, consider yourself blessed.  But you should also consider that we all, in the forty to fifties age group, are looking these things dead in the eye.

What are you doing about it?

You can stop many of these things.  You really can.  I know you can, because I did.  I am not special or unique.  I just did two things.  I recognized my condition for what it was and then took action to correct it.  It was really that simple.

Why did I do it?

So I would feel great.

So, when you see these infomercials and see all the beautiful people, don’t think that you have to look like them.  You should be thinking, I want to feel like them.

Will you look good when you are done?  I’m not going to kid you.  Yes, you will look good.  At the very least, you will look better.  It will start, though, with the new smile on your face because you feel better.  Your stomach will shrink and your thighs will 'lean' out.  You may see some muscles in places you don't recognize.  Your posture will improve.  You will lose weight.  If improving those things make you look better then, yes, you will look good too.  You will have more energy.

But looking good is a byproduct of feeling great.  So, that’s one of the thoughts I came away from the mountain with.  There were no mirrors.  It wasn’t ‘how I looked’ that had me stoked.

Don’t NOT do a fitness program because you don’t care to be beautiful.  If you do NOT want to do it, let it be because you are already fit.  If not, you should consider doing it.

 Let’s face it.  We have a long way left to go.  Right?

Monday, April 23, 2012

P90X: "I Am Younger Today Than I Will Ever Be Again" Day 80 of 90


I was happy.  Not just ‘doing okay’, I was really happy.

That was my reflective thought as we sat down this weekend and looked at all the photographs of our family vacation.  My kids looked at the pictures of me standing at the top of Angels Landing.  After a 2.5 mile jaunt that led me almost 1400 feet up in elevation…there I was perched atop the Landing with a real wild smile on my face.  It was almost manic.  You could see it on my face and in my posture.  Happiness.

I took several hikes alone on the vacation.  Hikes my family was too tired to take because they would be filled with hills.  Or mountains.  The hikes gave me time to reflect on my last 70 days of P90X and the last four years of my life.  I had time to think about all that had changed.  As the thoughts played through my mind, I found myself many times jogging up the mountains.  The inclines were there and sometimes steep, but I felt great.  I felt light.  So I would pick up the pace.  Why?  Because I could.  Really, there’s no other reason for it.  I could go faster.  So I did.

A thought that keeps playing through your mind when you take unfamiliar mountain hikes is, “Where do I go from here?”  You hit these plateaus and think you are at the pinnacle of the journey, but you’re not.  You come around a corner and there is another hill looking you in the face.  It had a kind of symmetry to my life.  Five years ago, I was saying the same thing.  At forty-five years of age, I was asking myself the same question that a lot of people that age ask themselves.

That question had a lot of implications.  Am I ready for the next thirty years?  How do I want my career to ultimately be?  How do I want to spend this time?  Have I done all the things that I think a life should contain?  Do I still have dreams left?

The driving force for the last five years has been that last question.  What dreams are still left?  The answer for me, and I bet a lot of you if you are honest, is ‘many.’

The first thirty years of my work life were spent learning as much as I could about goals, incentive, motivation, people, money, family, balance…the list can go on and on.  So what do you do with it?  It was obvious to me that it was time to apply all that learning to good use.  The first step…the very first step…was to make sure that my body was ready for the trip.

Every vacation we ever took as kids started out with my father giving the car a good “once over.”  Clean it, change the oil, check the rest of the fluids, and replace all the plugs if need be.  Any trip can end real fast if the vehicle is not ready for the journey.

That first step I took five years ago was the most valuable one.  It was a difficult one too.  It required a lot of discipline.  It meant a complete physical overhaul.  Lose 85 pounds.  Change my eating habits to be more healthy.  Change my fitness routine to be permanent and lasting.  It was not only the most valuable, but also the most needed.  All my gauges were off the charts.  Weight.  Cholesterol.  Back and joints.  Endurance.  My physical health was declining.  That’s right, ‘declining.’

Why was I so driven?  Because mentally, I was as sharp as ever.  I had spent a large percentage of my life learning about banking, technology, and business.  I have never been the kind of person who thought I “knew enough” or that my learning was complete.  I had a sharp mind inside a physical shell that was now failing me.

So I made a decision to change.

What are YOU waiting for?  That’s not a challenge, it’s a very sincere question.

As I took every next mountain last week, I did it with a smile.  My body was and is in better shape right now than when I was twenty-five years old.  At one point, I was hiking up Angels Landing with three guys.  They were remarking how I was just flying up the hill.  They were working to keep up.  I stopped and looked at them, loaded with sweat and breathing hard at the last steep ascent.  It took them a while to recover.  “How old are you guys?” I asked them.  One said, “twenty-eight.”  The others were the same range.  I laughed.  I said, “C’mon, you guys aren’t supposed to be breathing heavy.”

I will say this though, I was ready for every new hill.

P90X is the best gift I have ever given to myself.  It has put me in a position to really take the next twenty to thirty years and milk the time that is left.  That’s right…I said it.  THE TIME I HAVE LEFT.

Be honest with yourself.  We are here for only a finite amount of time.  No one lives forever.  But how are you going to close the curtain on your life?  Are you going to sit in a reclining chair with a drink, watching life pass by?  If that’s your choice, I respect that.  But that won’t be me.  I have too much left that I would like to do and see.  I want to make sure I am physically prepared to do it.

So, “Where do I go from here?”

If you ask yourself that question, do you know what the answer is?  When I ask myself, I do.  Based on how I felt last week and right now, the answer is, “Anywhere I damn well please.”

Why?

Because I can.  That’s all there is to it.

You are not ready to retire.  Not in your forties or fifties.  This isn’t the nineteenth century and the average life expectancy is not sixty years old anymore.  It's a lot more than that.  You are going to be around for a lot more time than you think.  Are you ready for that?  Are you going to let people have to guide you around for the next thirty years in a debilitated state?  Or are you going to be the best you have ever been?  You can be, if you want.

Because as I hiked those mountains, all I thought was, “I am younger now than I will ever be again.”

You know what?  So are you.  Think about that one.  It's kind of sobering.