Dear Santa, Please Bring Me a Unicorn

There I was, week 10. I weighed 230 lbs, down from 283. Total weight lost, 53 lbs. I was slowly getting to a place where I hadn't been in a long time. I had invested in some better fitting pants and some shirts that would not look like the baggy skin I probably would have in about a month or two. Unlike my time in Weight Watchers, I enjoyed going to the classes. My favorite classes were the dietician classes where we learned about calories (and the various types and forms of them), portion control, and the information sources that we would use in the future to maintain our new lifeforms. My least favorite were the behavior classes.

Ok, so why were they my least favorite? Let me start by saying that in 10 weeks I had lost 53 lbs. That is a pretty mean feat. I had done it by sticking to the diet and speed walking (by now jogging a little) 2.6 miles each day. When I say 'sticking to the diet', I mean it. I didn't cheat. I drank those shakes three times a day and had my vegetable/salad servings, my lean protein (6-7 oz) and my fruit at dinner. This diet was working. I saw that every week on the scale and I was not about to screw it up. The damn Aspartame had messed with the momentum, but now it was back. This was MY experience. WHY were the behavior classes so irritating? Because it exposed the side of this diet I didn't want to see...the ones who confused 'wishing' with 'goal setting.'

When I walked in on day one, there was a whole team of folks purportedly there for the same reason. Looking at them, you didn't need to guess that. 95% of them were very large and in need of a life-change. By week 10, many had lost weight, but about half had not. They seemed the same to me. Week in and week out, I heard the same thing.

"I had an OK week" or "I need to recommit to the diet." Blah blah blah.

They NEVER said how much they lost and NEVER commented on what 'OK' was. Seriously, this is a 900 calorie, strictly measured, medically supervised diet. If you do this diet and exercise, you will lose weight. That's a fact. If you are not losing weight you are (a) cheating or (b) not exercising enough. End of story. But something else was amiss in this diet program...an observed behavior was peeking out from under the taudry covers.

You begin to notice a trend. There are those that make losing the weight a goal and there are those who wish they were thin.

I am the former. I look at weight loss something I can control and need to accomplish. It is and was real to me. There are those, however, who want to be thin, or look better, or be healthier...and are NOT willing to take control and drive their life to that end. They wish it. They dream it. But they are not willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

Here is a real interaction in class.

"Hi, my name is StarchLover (made up name) and I didn't have a very good week. I had a problem with...um...Animal Crackers. It started when I was making my daughter's lunch. I thought I could eat just a few. I really started to like them, so I had a couple of boxes. I have been eating a couple of boxes a day for the last 4 days. But on the positive side, I have been drinking the shakes."

Seriously, what do you say to that? "You are drinking the shakes?" As what? Dessert? That is like saying you drank them with a side of fries. THIS IS A MEDICALLY SUPERVISED DIET!!!!! Cheating and eating unmeasured unsanctioned food is NOT ALLOWED!

Even the normally reserved behavior specialist couldn't restrain herself. "Do you know what is in those things? Sugar! Starch! Flour!...nothing but bad calories!"

"Oh...sorry...how do you feel about Peanut Butter Crackers?"

This diet costs money. For some, more money than others. You would think that that would be a factor. It is not. There are those who go with the intent on making losing weight their goal. They will succeed. There are those that wish they were thinner. They are still there. Wishing.

I had seen this at Weight Watchers. When I went there, I skipped the meetings and simply weighed in and left. I then went home and jogged 5 miles. I did this 4-5 nights per week. I would go to weigh-in and the 'un-losers' would give me the nasty death stare as I got off the scale with the WW rep saying, "congratulations, you lost ANOTHER 5 lbs!" The wishers just stand there. They gained a pound this week. Or they lost .75lbs. They are convinced they are killing themselves on this diet and that YOU, Mr. Miracle, are doing something magical like using a Harry Potter anti-fat potion. They cannot even be honest with themselves. They hate you and they hate your success.

That brings me to the thing that separates the 'Wishers' from the 'Goal Setters." That thing is the MOTIVATOR. What is motivating you? If the thing that motivates you is not strong enough, you are not going to achieve your goal. If you have NO motivator and have just a pipe-dream...you are a 'Wisher' and will NEVER lose the weight. I had a motivator. I wanted better health. I wanted to look better. But more than all of that, I wanted the 205 lb number. Achievement of the number is rarely ever going to be enough for people. That is what makes me a unique person in some regards. I can take a number and turn that into my sole goal. For most it is the 'looking good', or 'feeling great' thing. The health driver is a big one. I will tell you that the motivator has to be something that will trump all the de-railers in your life. The de-railers will be the excuses that you use to get you off the hook and off track.

So you need to ask yourself before any endeavor, especially a diet, "what is my motivation for this?" If you don't have an answer, a diet is probably not for you, especially an expensive one like Optifast.

No matter what challenge you face in your life...no matter what addiction or life-situation...you need to know what it is that is motivating you. It has to be serious. It has to be meaningful. It HAS to be something you REALLY want. If the motivator is weak, so will be your resolve.

Find the motivator and focus on it.

Commit to the change and keep your eye on the motivator.

My best to you.

Next: What motivates Kirstie Alley, REBOUND!