You Want Some Chicken With That Fat?

Oprah, Oprah, Oprah. Will you never learn? Remember the book debacle? The one where you promoted the book on your show and then found out that the author had lied about most of the elements in his book that you were gushing about? Remember when you had the guy come back on and do the 'mea culpa' to get your fanny out of hot water? You are someone that many people listen to and heed like some deity. Why they do this, I admit, I cannot fathom. Shouldn't you have learned from the book experience and wield your Godlike power with a degree of caution? Don't you have a conscionable responsibility to get some facts before you promote something (else)?

People remember Oprah for her weight loss. Notwithstanding the fact that she got thin once in her life and hasn't actually been thin since then, they think she is an expert. As I blogged this week, Kirstie Alley went on Oprah to talk to the guru about weight. I slammed Oprah in that blog entry and got some nasty email over it. Valerie Bertinelli (someone who, I think, actually gets the weight thing) went on Oprah to discuss her weight battle. So Oprah has some level of expertise on weight loss that has been awarded to her by the public. People seem to think that she is an expert on everything, but this week it is weight. Much in the same way that colleges give Bill Cosby a doctorates degree to speak at their graduation ceremonies...you don't really need to do the work, just have enough drag that you can demand the accolade. So now we have our elected fitness guru...Oprah Winfrey.

What made Oprah my topic today? Well, she has been promoting Kentucky Fried Chicken's (KFC for those of you who only know it by that name) new product, grilled chicken. Not fried. Grilled. So we will now be calling them KGC? The grilled chicken is a great idea. If you read my last blog, 'steamed and grilled' is the way to go. Apparently, through Oprah's promotion, you could get a free Grilled Chicken meal. There were so many people that took Oprah up on the promotion that KGFC actually ran out of product.

I like the concept of grilled chicken on the menu. In fact, I am even looking forward to trying it myself at KGFC. It is a great idea!! But, and this is a big butt (extra 'T' intended), KGFC and Oprah still found a way to screw this up. Here is how they did it: they are offering the grilled chicken in a MEAL format at KGFC!

They don't mix people!! That is like mixing roses and mud, oil and water, or prune juice and radiator seal. You just don't put the two together. The objective of the new product is supposed to be health. Let's look at this proposition.

Here is the chicken portion of the new grilled chicken meal.

You can get two pieces of any of these grilled items in combination.

Drumstick (70 calories), Breast (180 calories) or Thigh (140 calories). It should be noted that KGFC loves to toss you one drumstick and one of the meatier selections. I think I respect my readers enough that I know you can figure out why. If we take a Drumstick and a Breast, we get 250 calories. That is more than 6-7 ounces of protein and is more than we need in a meal BUT it is all protein and is OK at this point. You have about 1800 calories to use today if you are a guy and about 1400 if you are a gal.

NOW...let's look at the "meal" portion of this deal.

Mashed Potatoes with Gravy (130 calories). I know the gravy isn't in the picture above, but I also know that NOBODY is eating that pseudo-wallpaper paste without the hot gravy to help it glide down your esophagus. Biscuit (180 calories). Ok, this is a biscuit right? One biscuit? They must dehydrate this thing so you can swallow it and then it expands to the size of a beach ball. A candy bar, full size, is 200 calories. Coleslaw (180 calories). This should be the most healthy part of the meal in that it is made mostly of cabbage and lettuce. Someone must have found a way to inject massive amounts of sugar into the mayo sauce they mix it with because it is running neck and neck in a fat race with the biscuit. Two things that haven't been mentioned are the drink and potential dessert that KGFC sells. Let's be optimistic and think water and no sweets. Entire meal calorie count: 490 calories.

New grilled chicken: 250 calories.
The meal: 490 calories.
TOTAL: 740 calories.

Ladies, you just used a half day's calories. Men, you have about 500 cals each left over for breakfast and the other meal you choose now so be careful. You (anyone of you) do NOT need a 740 calorie meal. You know also that if you have the regular soda, the total will be about 900 calories.

So they have found a way to ruin a perfectly good idea.

Here is what you do. Get the bucket of grilled chicken for the family. Make a huge garden salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, green peppers, and NO cheese. Get some 'No Fat' Maple Farms dressing, my favorite is balsamic vinaigrette. Big helping of salad with one breast of grilled chicken each. Fresh fruit salad for desert with Ice Water for the beverage. Total meal calories (460 calories): Chicken (180 cals), Salad (200 cals) and Fruit (80 cals).

KGFC could have redone some of their side dishes to make them more healthy. Oprah is helping them push the 750 to 900 calorie meal into people under the guise of it being so 'good for you.' It makes one wonder what the heck Oprah eats on a regular basis. In reality, there is no reason for the wealthiest of stars to be overweight. They have personal chefs and can easily afford all the fresh foods and veggies that are typically more expensive than pre-cooked food and/or fast food. Also, stars like Oprah can be on treadmill or be exercising all day if she wants...she can afford enough assistants to have them read stuff TO her and take dictation. If Oprah had this Grilled Chicken Meal three times a day, she'd be bigger than she is right now.

So there she is, pushing the meal on us because she is the 'expert.' Also, like some crack dealer, you get the first hit for free. You will love it. And because it is so good for you, you will be going back. They are counting on it.

So who will you be taking advice from, Oprah or Dick? Unfortunately, for most of you, I know the answer.

Next: Stay between the lines!