"Call Me When You're Serious" Day 16 of 60

It always amazes me that, after four years of being thinner (not skinny, thinner than I used to be), some people still wonder how the weight stays off.  I end up in the most curious conversations.  I truly believe that people think that some people are normally thin and some people aren’t.  It is always funny with me because, forever, I was fat.  Also, some of the people that I end up talking to, for the longest time, were thin.  I wasn't always this way...and neither were they.  But the conversation always takes a turn that makes it seem like that is the rationalization that works best at the time.  I had a dialog this past weekend that kind of sums it up.  Just as a side note, it was not my wife.  I always have to put in that old disclaimer.  It went something like this.

She glanced at me sitting on the couch and said, “So, you’re still keeping all that weight off.”  (it wasn’t a question, it was an observation)

“Yep…plan to for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, I should do that.  It’s not easy.  What are you eating these days?”

“Oatmeal for breakfast, fruit as a mid-morning snack, salad at lunch with veggies and no starchy junk, protein bar mid-day, Shakeology for dinner, and nuts/fruit mix before bed.  If I get hungry during the day I might grab a fistful of nuts or eat two halves of a Klaussen dill pickle…only 20 calories in the whole massive pickle.  What are YOU eating?”

“It’s kind of like that. (said, to the snickering of her son) Do you use regular dressing on your salad? (it amazes me the things people focus on)”

“Yeah, I don’t worry too much about that, given that I’m exercising from 40 minutes  to 90 minutes on any given day with this new exercise program.  So if YOU eat like that, what kinds of snacking are you doing in between?  Because if you eat like that, it shouldn’t be really hard to stay at a good healthy weight.”

Nervous laughter.  “Oh, that might be a little of the problem.”

“How about alcohol?  Even a drink a night can lower your will-power and make you crave sugary things you know.”

“Oh, I really only have a few drinks on the weekend (to more snickering from her son).  Well, here and there.”

“I’m not your doctor,” I laughed, “I don’t care, it just makes it harder to not snack…not to mention that you don’t feel like exercising.  What kind of activity or exercise do you get?”

“Well…I walk.”  (Again, not my wife, but I know this person and the walking is basically making sure the dog moves it’s little legs enough to poop)

I chuckled, “No…exercise.  Exertion.  As in walking fast enough or exercising enough to break a sweat and know that your body is working a little bit.  Do you do that?”

More snickers from the son, and she responds, “Well, no.  I probably should.”

Someone else gets up and begins to go to the kitchen, “Anyone else want another beer?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, the person I am speaking to says, “I will.”

And then I start laughing.  Then she sees me laugh and she starts laughing too.

I’m not judging here, this is real life.  This is how many weekends go for a lot of people.  This is NOT about the person I was talking to.  It’s a rhythm and a pattern that everyone gets used to and ends up comfortable with.  It is not easy to change that pattern.  It’s funny to me because I now go through my new pattern so effortlessly that many think it’s easy for me.

It is much easier than it used to be because habits have been formed that I don’t think about anymore.  That said, those habits were changed as a result of a lot of daily decisions being made very consciously over a period of a couple of years.  That sounds like a lot, but when you consider 46 years of really crappy decisions about eating and exercise, two years is a walk in the park.

The other thing is, I’m not casual about my health.  Many are.  To many, they will not get serious until something critical happens that puts them over the tipping point.  You don’t know how you will prioritize your health until you question it.  Someone may be overheard making a nasty remark at a party that truly embarrasses you.  A child might make a very public comment about your size.  You might have to be left behind on something physical because ‘you can’t keep up.’  A doctor may look at your cholesterol and say things like, “Lipitor” and “heart attack risk.”  You may find you are winded just moving around with the kids.  Your doctor might take your blood pressure and show that alarming look which you realize can’t betray what they are thinking.  You might just look at the mirror one day and have a glimpsing memory of the smaller ‘you’ and feel an inner sadness.  It might be affecting your marriage or relationships.

It could be any one of a hundred things.  The bottom line is, 95% of the people will not do anything about their health and fitness until the “lack of it” becomes an issue they want to move up the priority chain.  The motivation has to come from inside them.

When people ask me about my weight and fitness, I never fail to tell them how I did it.  I don’t judge.  I’m not pushy.  People have to want to do it.

So I tell my story.  I don’t judge.  I was there.  I can see that most of the world still is.  I can talk about why I changed.  I always hope the best for people and wish for them that they would be proactive about their health.  I hope that they do not have a life changing event that causes them to need to do this, one that damages them in such a way as it limits the quality of the remainder of their life.  Because I was close.  I just will keep the word out there in front of me and, when they are ready, I will be standing in front of the line to speak with them.

My thoughts until then?  And, I don't say this in a nasty way...

 “Call me when you’re serious.”