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This blog is about my battle with weight and the journey that ensued.

Along the way are some not so subtle side tales but, for the most part, it is in chronological order. If you want the story from the beginning, start on March 24, 2009 at "The Tipping Point", and read your way to today. Thanks and best of luck on your journey.


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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"What the hell am I doing? Part 2" Insanity: Day 37 of 60


(from yesterday)

I had to take some drastic steps to rehydrate.  I immediately sat down and slowly got about 12 ounces of Gatorade in me.  I ate half a banana and a kosher pickle with it.  I needed to get the sodium and potassium levels up.  I then made up my usually recovery drink of Creatine/Protein and had that too.  All of this over an hour’s time…you can’t just pour this stuff into your body.  I sat in front of a fan and waited for everything to absorb and my body’s heat to go down.  It did…but it took time.  When I walked around, I was a little light headed and seriously out of steam.  I headed up to take a cold shower.

I stripped off my sweat soaked clothes and turned to look in the mirror.  I could see my cheek bones and my face was drawn tight.  My skin was white…drained of blood.  My body was still sweating.  It hurt me just to stand up.  That’s when it hit me.

I looked at the fifty year old man staring back at me and said to him, “What the hell are you doing?”

(continued)

It was a real question.  I was really at a physical breakpoint.  I don’t think there are many times when I have exercised so hard that I literally depleted my system.  When I was in the Army, back in 1985, I went to the NCO Academy in Bad Toelz, Germany.  It was a two week school for future Non-Commissioned Officers.  The final day, we did a road march in full gear plus packed ruck sacks.  It started at 6AM and went to 8PM.  We did over 30 miles that day.  That may have been the toughest outing of my life.  This was kind of close to that but not entirely the same.  That day was long and physically tiring, but I never thought I had passed a physical endurance point.  I was just physically tired.  Saturday morning was different from the perspective that I pushed until I couldn’t give anymore.  Why?

The other reason I asked myself that question is, simply, I’m fifty.  What am I trying to prove?  No one else my age is doing crap like this.  Other than me, who really cares?

So I took my shower and went back downstairs to relax.  As I started to come around, I started to really think about the questions.

I thought about the workout on that DVD.  I bet the oldest person was 35.  I saw a lot of them not doing the exercises.  They were dropping out along the way.  There were moments when I looked up and they were standing still.  But not me.  There I was grinding away.

Who cares?  I guess it was a good question.  I thought about that one for a moment.  I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to achieve things with very little regard for ‘who cares.’  I set a course and give it my all.  Work or play, it doesn’t matter.  I like putting the goals in front of me and then testing myself to see if I have the discipline and drive to complete them.  It’s a challenge.  I’ve always been of the mindset that, if we are not challenging ourselves, then what are we doing here?

It would be real easy at this point to just not do this anymore.  Seriously, I could get about 6 hours of my life back every week.  When you consider prep and recovery and shower, hell, maybe I could get closer to 12 back.

The problem with those hours are, I like them.  I look forward to them.  I’ve gotten to the point where exercise is something I love doing for the sake of doing it.  I like talking with people about their health.  I like sharing the experiences with those who also have had life changing transformations.

That’s really it.  The transformation.  I like the new person.  I like the new person a lot better than I liked the old one.  The new person is actually a bit more reserved.  A bit more tolerant.  Not completely, but changed a little.

Who cares?

Who cares about this damn blog?  I know there are many who follow it and read it…and there are some who read it from time to time when the title strikes an interest.  But, who  cares what I think?  I have to look back at the hours I’ve spent doing them and say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks.”  I honestly didn’t do them for anyone but me.  I did them hoping that they could help others but really, you do it because you like (or love) doing it.

Which brings me to the answer to my question, “What the hell are you doing?”  The answer is, I don’t really know.  I know I like it.  I know I am getting healthier (in spite of Saturday’s results) because of it.  I know I feel better than ever.

It feels great, so I am going to continue.  I’m not going to be one of those who sits back and talks about his ailments.  I am going to be moving, I hope, for a long time.

I may have overdone it on Saturday, but I’m still here.  I also made it through Sunday’s workout in much better shape than Saturday, because I was ready.
I am going to just keep doing what makes me happy.  In the long run, if it makes me happy…well…good.  Sounds selfish but it I don’t make sure I am happy, being the opposite way for the rest of my life sounds downright dreary.  So I choose happy.  Happy and fit.

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