Maybe you are trying to permanently change your personal fitness, stop very bad habits or vices, or even just trying to become a better version of you. Maybe you want to be a YOU that you can be a little more proud of. Understand this, one of the most difficult aspects about that change is that to really do it you will have to assimilate some new habits into your life and when you do that, you will change the person you are. When that happens, there are going to be some people around you that do not like that you changed.
So the question becomes, "Are you ready to assimilate the new behaviors and accept what that truly means?"
Many people who start a diet will do so knowing that it is valuable, sometimes necessary, and maybe even life saving. To fix that condition permanently, you have to not just lose the weight, but make permanent changes to how you view food and exercise. You have to start some new behaviors, make them a habit and then, assimilate, or make them YOU. That's when change happens.
Making permanent changes in your life is not easy. About five years ago, I found myself at one point not liking the person I was becoming. I decided to make some changes. It started with taking a real long look at myself. I got the help of people I worked with, from friends, and from family. I listened a lot to feedback from those who were willing to offer it. Some help was direct and some of it was simply reactive based on attitudes coming back to me from behavior I was giving off. Without going too in-depth I decided to make some permanent changes.
As I started down that path of my commitment to personal change, each step meant the assimilation of new things that would become the new me.
I started by changing how I dealt with people. I had gotten to a point in my life where, when I had a task given to me or felt the need to control a bad situation, I would attack it so strongly that I would hurt people along the way. It wasn't the most pleasant part of my personality. Having many "wins" along the way didn't help matters. It simply reinforced the behaviors as being successful...without regard for the collateral damage I was creating along the way. So I began to take a different approach to things. I learned how to deal with the situations differently and decided to keep the people first in mind when I solved problems. It helped me a lot and forced me to try to be more influential than simply a dictator. I also began to let other people be their own voices and not evangelize for people at the cost of my own personal relationships. I have become a happier person for that.
I then decided to change how I felt about myself and position my personal health for the long run. If you follow this blog, you know the story. I also made some changes in my approach to social situations, namely I stopped using alcohol as something my life revolved around. I stopped letting everything be about the food and drink. That was a tough one. The tough part was that when you assimilate that, the ones who have viewed you a certain way take a whole new perspective on the new you.
I then changed how I viewed the way I saw the rest of my life as proceeding. I wanted to be happy and do the things I was passionate about. I left a job I had done for fourteen years but had become toxic to me and went to a start-up company. It was a big risk but I have never been happier. I thought about maybe taking my writing and doing more with it. I thought about how much I was giving back to society be it the church, my kids school, etc. I wrote the book I had always wanted to write and donated a third of the money to charity during the Christmas season.
So I am no stranger to wanting to make a change and then doing it. I know how hard it is.
I said at the top of the blog that this change comes with a price tag. Here it is.
There will be many in your life who do not want you to change. You fit their perception of you. You have a place in their social or work fabric. They know who you are and how to deal with you. They are not ready for, and do not want, you to change. Changing who you are by assimilating new behaviors will mean that you may have to change more than you bargained for. I am not saying that's a bad thing, it's just that it may be more change than you anticipated and, very frequently, it is what will stop the change you are making for yourself.
Have you ever seen someone successfully diet for 4 or 5 months, only to see them a year later with as much or more weight on? It's usually because they did not assimilate the new behaviors. But the deeper reason they didn't assimilate them is that it didn't fit how they lived their life with family, friends, or co-workers. They went back to the old life of excess food and little exercise, more than likely because there were aspects of life they couldn't or wouldn't abandon. That is what stopped the assimilation.
Also, there will always be those that think the new you is trying to be superior or better than everyone. The bottom line is that the new you IS trying to be better...better than YOU. There are many people in this world whose egos and self opinions are so fragile that they believe you now think you are better than THEM. Sometimes trying to change can be downright hurtful to you. That pain may just drive you straight back into old and harmful habits.
I have no solution. I have decided for me that I need to live my life as positively as possible. I can't drive down the highway I have left with my eyes in the rear view mirror. That's how you crash or drive so slow you never get there.
So the questions are, "What highway are you driving down? And are you ready to truly assimilate and become a new you?"
I hope you choose what's best for you. I really do.
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