P90X: "Coaching: Engaging the Player" Day 91 of 90

In my experience, a Coach is only as good as his/her ability to share and teach the player.  In sharing and teaching anything, to anybody, you have to have the ability to ENGAGE.  Have you ever heard someone say about someone else, "They're just so engaging!"  Someone engaging actually makes you feel compelled to be in their circle.  Not to just listen to the engaging person, but to also participate.  That's what engaging means...it means that that person makes you feel like you are a part of driving something, not just a 'passenger on the bus.'

How do people who are 'engaging' accomplish this or become that way?

There are characteristics of these people that you either already possess or can work on building.

The first is that an engaging person projects themselves visually.  They are dramatic, sometimes 'over the top.'  They use a lot of body language to make the space they are in look bigger than life.  They fill a room when they enter it.  When they are expressing themselves they do it with a passion that is outwardly perceived.  Think about people you feel compelled to listen to...you will find they have this ability to translate visually.  Even when you talk to an engaging person over the phone, most times, you can feel that emotion.

The second thing an engaging person possesses is a 'hook.'  An engaging person, in your eyes, will have something you want...even if you don't realize at the time that you want it!  Be it a product, idea or emotion, the engaging person has it and you either want it or want more of it.  An engaging person may have a new way of thinking of an old concept.  It may be new facts or ideas.  It may be something that is completely old, but this person found a new way to wrap it so it feels new...and you want to see it again.  Maybe what they have will help you in business.  Maybe it will help you personally.  Maybe they are just really happy and 'up' right now and you want THAT.  If only because it will just make you feel better for a moment.  An engaging person has a 'hook' that draws others.

The third thing an engaging person has is 'room.'  They always have room for you...no matter how many of YOU there are.  They ask questions and listen.  They let you participate.  They let you nibble on the 'hook.'  With an engaging person, it's not a manipulation or sale.  They are sincere.  You can feel that they care deeply about their cause and how it will affect you.  They want to hear your story too.  Again...they LISTEN patiently and sincerely.  The relationship an engaging person forms is a dance, not a direction.

The last thing an engaging person has is a great sense of self-awareness.  They are humble enough to know that they don't know everything.  They also have a sense of humor.  They don't take themselves and everything so seriously that becoming involved with them is a life or death proposition.  They know that life is too short to not have fun doing what you love...but that everyone may not love the same things.  They have respect for you.

As a Coach...as a leader...these things will help you become a person who draws others in.  When you have people's willing attention, you are best positioned to be influential.

If you do not have these qualities, they are things you can learn, improve, and practice.

Many are not comfortable in front of people.  That hurts your ability to project and show passion.  A player can't see it if you can't show it.  There are many ways to get out of this shell.  Toastmasters is a great group that encourages you to get in front of the room.

Finding your 'hook' can be a challenge.  You need to really understand what it is you are trying to project and truly understand it's value or potential value to your audience.  Is it really something of value or something you WISH they valued?  Ask yourself that question and be honest.

Do you leave 'room' for your audience?  Always keep a list of no fewer than twenty engaging questions for the audience.  Some people are habitually good at this and do it reflexively.  If you are not a natural at this, get index cards, write the questions down and rehearse them until you know them by heart and can ask them with sincerity.  Listen acutely.  Don't just blink and nod.  Listen with real concern.  If the 'hook' is of real value, this should not be that hard, but it does take practice.

Remember to keep it loose.  Not everyone feels the same way about the 'hook.'  Let them take their time to get to it, don't just grab the damn fish and slap the hook in it's mouth.  Not nice.  Not engaging.  It's more like a trap.

Being able to 'engage' a player is vital to being a good or great coach.  If the player is not ready or willing to really take your guidance...your coaching may be only minimally effective if not simply ineffective.

Okay, time to work out!  I am putting in an extra two weeks of P90X.

Have a great weekend, GET UP, and JUST DO IT!

My resources this week for my Coaching blog were:

Mindset, by Carol Dweck Ph.D.

The Power of Persuasion, by Robert Levine

Influence Without Authority, by Allan Cohen and David Bradford

The Handbook of Coaching, by Frederick Hudson

Coach Anyone About Anything, by Germaine Porche and Jed Niederer (this one was sourced the most)

P90X: "Coaching: Achieving the Objective" Day 89 of 90

Once you have assessed your own specific areas of Coaching (Knowledge, Skill, Confidence and Motivation) and have chosen your ‘player(s)’, you need to put yourself in a position of being able to help them.

In this relationship, what are the goals, targets and outcomes to be achieved?  What are the timeframes to achieve these things?  What are the tools available to the player?  What is your role and what are the limitations?

As you chart the results that are desired, you will carve a path that you and the player will walk together.  You have done this before and you are the guide.  The player is your partner on this journey.

The four cornerstones that we have established so distinctly will now have impact as your player makes the journey.  There may be times that you need to help them improve in these areas.  You can help them attain knowledge, show them a certain skill, bolster their confidence or instill the drive for them to be self-motivated.

I will address these four factors as they would relate to physical fitness or Beachbody Coaching.

1) Improve Their Knowledge

There are many types of instructional media as it pertains to Physical Fitness and exercise technique.  Books, magazines, DVD’s are all great sources to steer your player to.  Your job is to make sure YOU are aware of the best sources and their appropriate use so you can make the appropriate recommendations to your player.

The same media exists for Nutrition as exists for Physical Fitness and Exercise.  In addition to those mentioned, audiobooks and other sources that can be used while doing something else (like driving) are excellent for added knowledge when it is purely mental.

The internet is a good source of information when used properly.  You should try to send the player to sites you have some familiarity with and then make sure you follow up in case he/she is filled with disinformation that needs to be clarified.  The Beachbody site is ALWAYS recommended!

If you find out that your player needs Knowledge that exceeds your capability, you could find them a subject matter expert on their specific need.  If you are part of a Beachbody coaching team, it is of real benefit to know the other Coaches well as well as their particular strengths.  You could get an assist from them.

If there are groups that meet regularly around the subject or you know of some type of education track that would advance the knowledge, you might recommend that as well.

2) Improve Their Skill

Practice.  Practice.  Practice.  Does this need to be repeated?  Repeat this to your player.  When the player is practicing, three things should be encouraged.  The Rule of Thirty.  They should be practicing any task they want to master 30 times more than they will have to perform it in reality.  Simulation.  If there is a way to simulate actual performance conditions, use that.  Speed.  If the task does not require high focus on method, like some of the P90X activities where form is more important than anything else, encourage speed.  High repetitions and speed help the brain synapses and neurons accomodate to the task.  There will come a time when the body takes over and simply performs the task with very little thought from the player.  Think of a basketball player being guarded by three others and having to take a long jumpshot under pressure.  The practice, reps and speed will all kick in when they hop up to take the shot.

Every activity that any player will want to master is broken up into sub-activities.  If the player wants to be a better football offensive lineman, there are many separate activities that will contribute to successfully being able to play that position.  Everything from weight lifting to proper blocking techniques to endurance conditioning are on the table.  The same can be said for the mastery of any complex task.  Know the sub-activities and be in a position to recommend the necessary ones.

Encourage all opportunities for the player to refine the skills or the direct task they are attempting to master.  There will perhaps be complimentary opportunities to the one being trained for.  If you are coaching for a marathon, 5K, 10K and mini-marathons could be encouraged.  Know how the task you are coaching for relates to other things.

Of course, if you are not able to pass your own skill onto the player, find them a subject matter expert or mentor to work with.  Nothing beats an expert.

3) Build Their Confidence

The first thing in building a player’s confidence is making sure that they know you are credible.  You have to have a certain level of Knowledge and/or Skills (at the very least, more than the player) and be able to pass that on to the player.  If you think of a professional football coach, they may not be able to perform personally at the level of the player, but they have years of knowledge and skills that they have honed and can transfer to the player in an effort to elevate the player’s game.  When the player believes this, and certainly when you have demonstrated it a few times, the player will trust you and also have confidence that they can do it too with your help.

You also need to break down all the activities involved in mastery into sub tasks that are all doable.  Nothing builds confidence towards a major success like several successes on the way to the top.  The tasks should be broken up to ensure success, not create obstacles.

Make sure that your player has all the tools and resources and is using them for all the activities.  If you are teaching them to hit a nail, make sure they are doing it with a hammer and not the butt end of a big screwdriver.

Last, if you have actually mastered the task they are trying to master, you should be in an excellent position to share experiences of trial and success that let the player know that they are not alone and not in unexplored territory.  They should always feel like you are on the path with them.  Confidence will naturally flow when this happens.  If you can’t do that, find someone they can emulate who is willing to walk part way, if not the whole journey.

4) Improve Their Motivation

This is a hard one.  That is why it is last.  Motivation has to come from inside the player.  You can’t be inside their head all day long and constantly remind them of the behaviors that will support success.  You can’t BE the motivation or the motivator.  Your job as coach is to present moments where motivation can take root and grow.

What things generate motivation in people?  Recognition, Reward, Challenge, Growth, and Fear.

There is no formula here for improving motivation.  It is unique to every player.  You should evaluate, and have the players evaluate themselves on, the key motivators for each player.  Every person seeks something different from the accomplishments they achieve in life.  What is your player’s chief need that fulfilling this task will bring them?

Some people do things simply for reward.  Are you studying really hard in school to learn or to get a really good job that pays a lot?  Many people set their tasks and goals because they are seeking a reward at the end.  That reward could be the ability to fit into smaller clothes, better health, acceptance, etc.  Is your player rewards driven? 

To many, public or private adulation and praise are key motivators.  They do everything so they will be noticed and cheered.  Many professional athletes will tell you that nothing motivates great play more than a stadium of fans.  How much more effort do you think they put forth on game day versus that private practice session that no one ever sees?

Is your player ultra-competitive?  Do they try to win at cards with the same fervor that they work at every other task in their life?  Some people are motivated by challenge.  Any challenge.  They take losing personally.

Is your player driven to be an expert in everything?  There are many people in life who seek mastery of whatever they try.  They want to be the subject matter expert.  They are self-driven for growth and learning.

Finally, is your player trying to master a task out of the fear of NOT being able to do it?  This is a very strong motivator for some but it is highly inefficient.  It is inefficient because people operating under the mechanism of fear respond erratically and emotionally.  The fear may drive them to practice over and over again, but with a pace and rhythm that ends up being destructive to achieving the goal.  Is your player doing something because they fear the alternative to NOT doing it?

Summary...

So there are ways to encourage all four areas necessary for mastery of a task.  As a coach, you need to know the player and know what THEY need.  You need to position yourself to be able to support those needs and get them to their destination.

Tomorrow…listening.

Thanks and have a great day!

P90X: "Coaching: The Right Fit" Day 88 of 90

Yesterday I blogged (or wordalogged) about how you assess a ‘player’ you are thinking about coaching.  The goal of this assessment is to understanding the player by looking at their Knowledge, Skill, Motivation and Confidence.  There is a second part to the coaching relationship.  The coach.

In my mind, no one should begin Coaching until they have done the exact same criteria assessment on themselves.  You have to be brutally honest as well.  If you are not as self-aware as you might like to be, look to others for input…but assess yourself.

So how do YOU rate on the four criteria?  Knowledge, Skill,  Motivation and Confidence.  You need to use the same rating system as you did for them.  If you scored your potential player on a one to five scale for each criteria, you need to assess yourself the same way.

As you assess yourself, for Knowledge and Skill, so long as your experience in reaching  your goals and meeting the objectives are a match for your player (same goals and objectives) this should not be too hard.   You need to know if you have the requisite Knowledge and Skill to pass on to the player.  These two criteria are the best ones to have someone else co-evaluate you on.  You want to make sure that you don’t have a blind spot when it comes to your opinion of yourself.  I know.  My goodness, how would that happen, right?  The other component you need to evaluate for Knowledge and Skill is your ability to demonstrate or show someone else what you know.

For the Motivation and Confidence, you may have plenty.  That, however, is not how you should be grading yourself.  If you have reached your goals and objectives and want to show others how to do the same, you probably were motivated (or it grew in you along the journey) and you more than likely have a boatload of confidence that you can be successful doing these programs yourself.  To coach, however, you need to help others to do what you did.  On these two criteria of Motivation and Confidence, you have to evaluate yourself for having them, but also place a heavier emphasis on being able to instill them in others.  It is slightly different from passing on Knowledge and Skill.

To pass on Knowledge and Skill, it is very much like teaching.  It’s not always easy, but if you put the information in front of a motivated person, they will embrace it.  To pass on Motivation and Confidence requires a different approach.  Motivation and Confidence can’t really be passed to others, it has to be instilled.

In my blog tomorrow, I will cover the ways you can help a player in each of the four criteria but, for now, how well do you think you grade in each area?

So, if you graded yourself and the players, you now have a yardstick for yourself and your players.

What are your strengths?

Let’s look at Beachbody Coaching or, coaching for physical fitness.  The Knowledge part of this requires that you know about Training Technique, Physical Conditioning (to include preparation, execution, and rehabilitation) , and Nutrition.  Are you very good at Physical Conditioning but a little weak on Nutrition?  Maybe vice-versa?  Maybe you have everything needed...you lucky dog!

How about Skill?  Skill is different from Knowledge in that you may KNOW how to do something, you just haven’t spent a lot of time doing it.  You can read about baking…but to be a good dessert chef, you need to do it a lot.  You need to have done the work.  For Beachbody, how much work have you done?  Have you tried all the products?  Can you speak to Insanity and P90X?  Have you gone through what your players need to do?  If they are looking for weight-loss, have you done that?  What is your life experience?  How do you rate?

Can you help someone to gain confidence in their ability to perform?  In Beachbody, if you have the requisite skill and have done it yourself, you are in a good place.  The closer your personal journey to your player, the better your chances of giving them confidence.  If you can communicate your journey to someone else, then you can instill confidence that they can be as successful as you are/were.

Can you motivate someone to perform?  Of all of the criteria, as a Coach, this will be the most challenging.  Why?  Because motivation comes from inside the player.  It is something that needs to be generated by the players themselves.  You can give them fuel, but they have to be willing to light the fire.  It is the hunger, the need, or the urgency.  I am a huge football fan.  When teams draft their players every year, they look desperately to find this.  What fuels the passion in each player.  To motivate someone, you need to know their internal drivers (more on that tomorrow) and you need to know how to stoke the fires for each.

So, you have evaluated yourself.  You also have evaluated your players.  Now, are you the right fit?  Not every coach is right for each player.  What do they need? What are your strengths?  Again, honest assessment is necessary.  The player’s success depends on this and, remember, this is always about the player.

You may have graded low on Knowledge but are high on Skill.  You may be great motivator but not real skilled as you are new to the tasks.  Do you have what they need?

In Beachbody, you may have a player with lots of Skill but not a lot of Knowledge…are you high on Knowledge?  Is it the right Knowledge?  Maybe the player knows a lot about training but nothing about nutrition.  Does your player have to be constantly motivated?  Can you motivate them?  This ability is the toughest for any coach in any arena.

Most people who become coaches have, at some point, been players.  The best players are usually the ones that have the deepest internal motivation drivers.  These are the Larry Bird, Walter Payton, Michael Jordan, and Michael Phelps types.  Believe it or not, these people almost always fail at coaching because having to deal with a player who lacks motivation is completely foreign to them.  Not only do they not understand it, they have no patience for it.  How many great players have ever moved on to become really good coaches?

So how do you match up to your player?  If you have been the Larry Bird, maybe some other coach is more suited to your player who needs a cheerleader.  If your player has motivation, confidence and knowledge, but needs to skill themselves…maybe you are their coach.

Are you the right fit for the player?

If you have a particular coaching challenge right now, and it is not working, do the criteria assessment again.  I bet you find the answer!

Tomorrow, how to help your player improve the four criteria.

Have a great day!

P90X: "Coaching for Performance" Day 87 of 90

I have been secretly thinking a lot about Beachbody Coaching.  I say ‘secretly’ because I generally like to think about whether I am ready to take on something new like this.  Coaching is not foreign to me.  I have done it in many facets of my life.  This week, I will share a little and by the end of the week, maybe I will have convinced myself, one way or the other.

One or more of three things will happen here.  Those who coach me will see that there has been some positive impact on me from their work.  I will get feedback on my thoughts.  Last, maybe, if some think I am suitable ‘coach’ material, there would perhaps be those that would like to be coached by me and will reach out.

In my coaching experiences at my ‘real job,’ I have done some research along the way to make me a better coach or manager.  I do this in all areas of my life.  I try never to presume that I ever know all or anything about a particular subject, no matter how long I have been doing it.  I figure that the only way to be a responsible manager or coach of anything is to have, and continue to acquire, knowledge.

With that in mind, today I address the ‘player’ or, in other words, the person ‘to be coached.’

As a coach for performance, it is important to understand that each and every player is different.  When you consider how to coach a player, you have to make sure you are filling the needs that they have when it comes to reaching the desired outcome.  They all come to the table with varying levels of four things, and it is your job to first assess how much of each they possess.  Your approach to coaching, which will be unique to each person, is based off of this assessment.

In any performance situation, the player should be evaluated on four criteria.  They are (1) Skill, (2) Knowledge, (3) Motivation, and (4) Confidence.  Every player comes to the table with some degree of these four things.  When I look at the person to be coached, I have to make a complete assessment.

Every task requires SKILL.  If it didn’t, anyone could be successful and no one would ever need to be coached.  In fact, that one statement is true for all four evaluation criteria.  When you look at a person’s skill, you need to assess their natural or acquired ability to perform the tasks.  Is the task they are trying to master something they have been working at for a long time but have not successfully mastered or conquered?  Do they have a natural ability that compliments the ability to achieve the task they want to achieve?

In Beachbody coaching, knowing a person’s history and knowing whether exercise is something they have done their whole life or completely foreign is a range you will need to assess.  Is the player starting from ‘scratch?’  Have they been on every diet known to man?  Maybe they want to be fit with the goal of losing weight.  In Beachbody, this will be an exercise and nutrition objective, so knowing this is important.

The next assessment criteria is KNOWLEDGE.  All too many people attempt to perform a given task based on here-say, rumor, or conjecture.  They may pursue the task doggedly without continually refining the knowledge and building on a strong base of facts.  It’s sometimes amazing how many people just bang their head against that stone wall with no results.  A little knowledge would go a long way.  You need to assess how much knowledge your player has for the task they are trying to succeed in.  The challenge as a coach, with this in mind, is that you have and are continuing to refine your own knowledge and can ably pass it on.

In Beachbody, understanding your player’s knowledge of proper training and safe exercise technique is vital.  Also, understanding their knowledge of basic nutrition is very important.  The workouts and the nutrition go hand in hand.  To be in better shape you need to ‘exercise and eat less.’  That is the simplest way to state something which is actually slightly more complicated when put into real action.

The third assessment criteria is MOTIVATION.  How self-directed is the player?  You need to assess the internal drive and sense of ‘urgency’ in the person to accomplish their task.  Motivation is the thing that gets the player off of the couch and gets them to do the necessary activities that will merge SKILL and KNOWLEDGE into results.

In Beachbody, knowing how motivated your player is can be the difference between coaching success and coaching misery.  Are you pushing a rock up a hill?  The workout routines in Beachbody vary from beginner to extreme.  There are days that your players will NOT want to get off of that couch.  There are days they will ‘Wordalog’ (my new term for text, chat, blogging, and email as a form of communication) what you want to hear.  How motivated are they?

The last criteria is CONFIDENCE.  So many people do not pick up a challenge because they do not believe that they can do it.  It’s that simple.  How much does your player believe in their own ability to succeed?  That lack of confidence drives an internal ‘fear’ mechanism that stops many in their tracks.  It’s that mental ‘deer in the headlights’ moment.  How self-sufficient is your player?  How resilient is their confidence?  Instilling confidence is one of the toughest things to do because it relies on your ability to get into a player’s head.  Confidence can be strong one day and, due to some minor setback, be destroyed the next.

In Beachbody, you are dealing with fitness.  This is a subject that many people have failed at for one reason or another.  The path to fitness is loaded with the past skeletons of failure and short-term successes.  Many think fitness is impossible for them.  How confident is YOUR player?

Coaching is hard.  Let me repeat that.  COACHING IS HARD.  In my ‘work life’, when I hire a person, I look at all four of these criteria.  Why?  I am going to be dead honest with you.  Because the more of these things the person/player possesses in high quantities, the easier my life as a manager will be.  The biggest issue I always face is the assessment.  I need to separate the talkers from the walkers.  That is critical.

Assess your player.  How much of each of these four criteria does that person have?  If they have all of these, your coaching life could be a little easier.  If they have none of these, you have your work cut out for you.  You know what the biggest problem of all will be?  It will be whether you assessed your player properly.  The most frustrating thing for you, as a Coach, will be when the player fakes you out.  It will be when they had you convinced they were good in a certain criteria and you bought it.  You may coach with a certain strategy based on your assessment and then, when success isn’t truly being achieved, beat yourself up for your lack of coaching success.  Bottom line here…it may not be your coaching game plan, it might be your ability to assess the player.

Tomorrow I will cover (1) How to help your player improve in each of these areas and (2) Why every coach may NOT be the right coach for every player.

Have a great day!

Note: I will credit all my key resources on Friday for those of you wanting to do more research.