P90X: "Changes - Level 1" Day 30 of 90

Today is kind of a two edged sword.  I want to see the changes in the last 30 days.  I know there have been many from performance, to endurance, to visible looks.  Many people have commented over the past couple of weeks...so I know it's not just me.  That said, you look at these pictures, and it is not easy to SHOW the dramatic changes.  I'm not trying to sell something here, I KNOW this is working.  The pictures, however, are not showing the changes as vividly as I am feeling them.  That said, let's take a look.

I did not have a comparison shot for the one to the left here...but I did not look like this.

As I said before, I am looking for the changes.  Before we get started, I should mention that my back issues, which I am seeing a chiropractor for, are much better but my posture is awful.  I need to make some adjustments to my daily sitting at the computer and to how I sit in the car.

Alright, here goes....DAY 0 shots on left....DAY 30 shots on right.

Now, the changes are a much straighter posture.  My chest is better defined.  My middle is shrinking, though not as much as I can see when I move around and look.  My stomach is much more rigid and becoming more defined.  If you look from my rib cage to my belt line, the 'tire is moving down and the lines are becoming more vertical.

The side shot is not so bad.  You can definitely see tricep definition, stomach muscles pulling in, and better chest definition.  The fat tire around my waist is absolutely shrinking.

My back is a mess.  If Day 90 is a sculpted down version of the badly positioned muscles, I might be able to sell the pictures to a chiropractor magazine.  That said, there are areas of clear improvement, even to my rotten shoulder region.

So there we have it.  Thirty days of P90X.  Let me say this though.  In thirty days, I have come a long, long way.  The pictures are not staggering, but change is evident.  This is not a short term thing...it takes a long time to get a body into the out of shape condition that I was in a long time ago.  This journey to fitness will be one that has many steps.  60 Days from now, I am sure there will be very radical differences.

Thanks for following....see you tomorrow!

P90X: "Consistency" Day 29 of 90

Today was a very busy day and really different for a Saturday.  We had to be somewhere at 10:30AM and I knew the day would be really busy in front of me.  I wanted to get my workout done early.  Ate my bowl of oatmeal and had my two cups of coffee.  Then five minutes later, I rocked into Core Synergistics.

Bad idea.

Okay, not totally bad...I did the whole workout.  I also worked harder than usual on intensity now that I have the forms down, the exercises memorized and the energy/strength to get through all the reps.  The bad part?  I have never felt so much like I was going to lose my meal during a workout!  I should never have gone into this routine so close after breakfast.

Superman/Banana was brutal.  The prison pushups were also kind of tough.  The pushup position runs wiped me.  So I really pushed it...and I felt it.  Then, when I finished, I broke again from my norm.  Typically, I have a large 32oz cup of water, lemon juice, sea salt and a dab of pure maple syrup and wash down my vitamins.  It makes a great recovery drink, usually followed an hour later by my shakeology when I use that as a lunch replacement.  None of that happened today.  I found myself feeling very odd later at the event I went to.  A little dizzy, and very hungry.  Empty tank, low electrolytes and fluids were probably the culprit.  I am learning how tricky it is keeping your system balanced.  You have to pay attention to your body's needs.

I am going to shoot for a little better consistency in the execution...particularly the timing.  These P90X workouts are not to be taken lightly.

Keeping it short tonight, pics and Cardio tomorrow.  Keep it up!

P90X: "Time?" Day 26 of 90

Anything can be an excuse for not doing something else.  If you let it, an excuse will always happen.

Sometimes, the mindset becomes such that we actually like it when life provides valid excuses.  We are off the hook for our other commitments.  There have been times when I have seen something happen to someone that would normally derail someone’s day or project.  To my surprise, that thing then becomes completely embraced by them because it was an excuse to buy time in other areas.

The bottom line is, if you want something badly enough, you can make it happen.  If you want to NOT do something badly enough, you will find a way (consciously or unconsciously) to make that happen too.

I am the former.  I want to make things happen.

There are realities of life, for certain.  You shouldn’t be sacrificing things of value.  That said, you are as important as everybody else in your house.  If you are mad because you have no time…and then find that your time was used making lunches, cleaning the house, washing dishes, washing clothes…while your kids are watching TV and playing on the computer…you are your own enemy.  If you are doing things for everyone in the house and being left behind, that is bad.  And, I might add, your kids aren’t learning to use their time wisely nor are they becoming self-motivated and responsible people.

Someone asked me last week where I get the time to workout, blog, do things with my family, do my normal job…etc.  I thought about that quite a bit.  I didn’t see it as all that difficult.  It is true that my kids are now fourteen and sixteen year old teenagers…so they manage themselves pretty well.  My wife gets out of work at 2PM each day (give or take a busy work schedule) and she ferries the kids from place to place until dinner.  She makes sure the homework is getting done.

I have a pretty disciplined schedule.  Here is how my typical Monday through Friday go.  Wake up at 6:15AM.  Make the coffee for the house and make my oatmeal for breakfast.  Check dishwasher to see if it should be emptied.  6:50AM, to the shower.  Dressed and out by 7:15AM to make the 7:32AM train.  Blog (this blog) on the train from 7:35AM to about 8:20AM when the train pulls into Boston.  Begin my work day.   Salad for lunch at noon.  Same salad, same place.  Check personal email etc. through lunch.  Work until 5:30PM…take 5:40PM train home.  Catch up on eMails, call home to see how the events of the day progressed, maybe do some finish work leftover from the work day…this is about an hour of catch up time.  Home by 6:45PM, make my dinner shake and have some fruit.  Hang out and catch up with family from 7PM to 8PM.  8PM to 10PM, exercise and shower.  10PM to 11:30PM…do any laundry I need to do (I do my own), rinse dirty dishes in sink and drop in dishwasher, drink my salt/water and vitamins, apply the Ben Gay (these days!!).  I catch up on my blogging and then wind down for sleeping.  Use this time to finish my P90X blog and to do any bills that need paying.  Watch Chelsea Lately and anything on DVR that I want to catch up on.  In bed by 12:30AM…up at 6:15…recycle.

The morning train and evening train was where my book was written last year…I wasn’t blogging as much.  When you read the last paragraph…it is pretty stuffed.  It is also easy to get thrown off, because there isn’t a lot of wiggle room.  You just have to draw the line at what justifies a disruption and what doesn’t.  “Not just any excuse will do,” as my old army buddy Kevin used to say.

I have no idea if the daily schedule I wrote is ‘busy’.  You may think it is.  You may think it is a walk in the park.  I don’t complain about my tight schedule.  Number one, I have no idea what anyone else’s day looks like relative to mine.  I am not them.  The big reason I don’t complain is mainly because I made it up myself.  My workouts can be adjusted, and have in the past quite often, but I am being more rigid right now because the P90X requires more discipline.

There are many people who, after doing a lot less during the day, will complain about time.  It’s as though they are being chased by time.  I rarely complain about time, mainly because I am always chasing it.

An interesting observation that I have made is that there are people who complain about not having time, and most of them have plenty.  There are also those who do not complain, and have very little to spare.  The ones who complain actually think that the ones that don’t gripe actually have more time to give.  Just because you complain you “don’t have enough time” does not mean you are the busiest person on the planet.  It may just mean that you have no ability to manage what you have.  It may also mean you just like to gripe.

One other observation…there is a big difference between having a schedule and living by a schedule.  If you live your life around a clock, but fail to perform to it…that one is on you.  Procrastinators LISTEN UP here.  When you have to be somewhere by 7PM, that does not mean 7:15PM.  Trying to make something as unyielding as time bend for you will fail every time.  Sorry McFly…this is the real world.

We all have to remember to manage our time wisely.  Don’t let your feelings of obligation to others become your excuse for not taking care of yourself, be that time to exercise, relax, or recharge.  They have an obligation to you as well, which is: they are largely responsible for themselves.

Time.  Remember what my army buddy Kevin said, “Not just any excuse will do.”

Stretch X today.  I’ve never done this one.  Feels like I am shorting the workouts this week.  I am putting a little extra into each one and doing extra Cardio.  Can’t wait to go back to the tough workouts next week.

Have a great and well time-managed day!

[later that day]

I did Stretch X tonight for the first time, but the exercises were all familiar.  They have been done in part in many different routines that last three weeks.  When I got done, I felt bad.  Like I had wasted a night.  I did the treadmill for 45 minutes at 4.2 mph.  I just don't feel like I got enough out of tonight.

When I ski, I sometimes divide the cost of the ticket by the number of runs.  The goal is to get the cost per run to be as low as possible.  When I work out, it becomes work per hour spent.  I try to put everything into all the workouts.  Tonight felt off.

I have to trust that this is what is necessary at this point.

Okay, see you tomorrow!

P90X: "Fear...of Failure" Day 25 of 90

I always set my goals publicly.  I tell people when I intend to make an attempt to do something.  Why?  I realized long ago that if I am doing something all by myself, and if the only person being held accountable is me, and if I am the only one who even knows that an attempt was made, that it is all too easy to quit.

The other thing I learned was that if you publicly set a goal, then people think twice before getting between you and it.  Some may even help you!

So when I set out to do something, I let people know.  I mark the goal.  I want folks to know that I have committed and am holding myself accountable to get it done.  I have been practicing this for a long time.  There are two sides to this practice.  If you succeed, everyone knows you did something you set your mind out to do.  You become known as a driven and determined person.  If you fail, you fail publicly.  Everyone knows it didn’t work out.  It may be a mark on your character, but that all depends on how you handle it.

I have been doing this for so long that it stopped occurring to me that anyone would approach the task of goal setting and achievement any other way.  The thought of setting a private goal and covertly going after it never occurred to me.

I first encountered this when I did the Optifast diet four years ago.  I did this because I had gotten myself past the point of ‘no return’ and needed medical help to get the weight off.  It is a special program designed to help the exceptionally large and obese people lose weight and change how they think about food.  Two critical aspects to this program are weekly classes on behavior and nutrition.  There is an exercise element as well but in my humble opinion, it is not stressed nearly enough and is one reason for some of the personal failures in the program.

On this diet, you weigh in every week.  You know how well you have done in the short term.  You have a target weight objective in the program, so you know where you are supposed to be going in the long term.  The diet is so meticulously measured that, if followed, you have to lose weight.

From the first behavior class, it was obvious to me that at least 85-90 percent of the class would not say on a weekly basis how much they lost.  They always said, “I did okay,” or “I didn’t do so well.”  It was completely arbitrary.  I can still remember asking on that first night, “What does okay mean?  How much did you lose?”  You would have thought that I murdered someone.  I got rotten looks, hurt looks, indignant looks…it was really confusing to me.  I made my own personal statements of how much I was there to lose and I was ready to go!  I hadn’t even started the diet yet, I was still holding my 8 oz. 150 calorie sippy drinks.

As I went through the program, the ones that were very open to setting their goals and talking about their progress in a real way were losing weight.  Every week I openly spoke of how much I had lost, what I had done right and what I may have done wrong.  In week three, a man I used to sit next to was ready to graduate to normal life again.  He had lost about 95 lbs.  He took me aside after class because he knew I was frustrated by the contempt being shown to me and the defensive postures of most of the class.  He told me to just keep doing it the way I was doing it because I would be successful.  He wished me luck and just disappeared.

Week after week I sat there listening to stories about doing ‘okay’ and the lack of progress for most of them.  I listened to the therapist coddle them.  The more I listened the more I kept hearing the fear creep in.  Then one night, I asked the question that opened my eyes.  I asked one woman, “Doesn’t your family and friends know you are on this medical diet?”

“Oh, no!  I haven’t told a soul.  The last thing I need is for them to know that!”

Just by looking at the faces around the table and the nodding of heads, this was a prevailing and reinforced point of view.  They were afraid.  Afraid of being judged but also letting themselves off the hook for accountability.  These closet eaters were trying to be closet dieters.  The program was allowing this by telling them that they were accountable to no one but themselves.  So then, why do this in a group?  At least be honest and accountable with the group.  I truly believe that the program did not want to lose participants and that they wanted a high attendance.  So they let some people simply cruise along.

I understand now how much courage it takes to put yourself out there and publicly state a goal.  I also think that without that declaration, there is very little accountability.  Accountability is important because when you have to make two choices, one supporting the goal and one thwarting it, accountability may help influence your choice.  The other thing not usually stated is that there are very many who NEVER TRY THINGS.
They will applaud the fact that you even tried.

The bottom line here is that you should not let your fear of failure keep you from openly pursuing your goals.  Take some risks and put yourself out there.  It will help keep you on track when you feel like drifting.  Put your goals in a place where you are not the only one who sees them.  Don’t be afraid that not reaching the goal is a failure.  The only true failure in this life is not trying.  So let that publicly stated goal help you…let it influence and guide your decisions because you feel accountable for achieving it.

I know this one is hard.  Best of luck!!!

[later that night]

Did Yoga X tonight as scheduled. I have to agree with Melissa, this is not really in Tony's wheelhouse. Has anyone else noticed that he short cuts the left side? Always faster than the right...I know his left knee is bad and when he has to support the lunge on the left leg, it must be painful. But he whips through it too fast. I am going to have to figure something out. Three weeks ago, I couldn't keep up. Two weeks ago, I was fine and didn't even notice. Now that I am disciplined and counting the reps, I even notice when they short the routine. I just keep going. I am really enjoying this. My berry skakeology came today!! I am about two shakes away from opening it.

See ya in the AM!

P90X: "Time to Reflect" Day 24 of 90

This week seems like a great week to do some reflection.  I have never done P90X but I have done a lot of programs to lose weight.  There are a few similarities that I think I can share on this blog.  Right now, in week four of P90X, it is a recovery week.  We have put our bodies through three rigorous weeks of physical training and we are now exercising, but letting some stuff repair.  I can tell you, my body needed it.  I am doing a little more cardio in this phase, which isn’t in the plan, but fast walking at 4.2 mph on the treadmill doesn’t seem ridiculous.  I am just burning extra calories.  The bottom line is, when you get here, you have come a long way.  Seriously, the hard part is over.  What?  There are almost eleven weeks left!  I know.  But let me explain.

Three plus weeks is a long time to do the P90X program.  If you have stuck with the plan, you have exercised almost 21 of 23 days.  The workouts have ranged from 50 minutes to 90 minutes.  Conquering the milestone of doing this physical activity regularly is big.  You may also be following a diet plan along with the workout.  That requires personal discipline as well.  At this point, if you have had to reschedule your life to make room for this, you have probably settled into a daily routine of sorts.  People in your life have adjusted to the fact that you are doing this…some may even have commented that they see an improvement already.  Anybody familiar with certain eating habits you used to have, have finally adjusted to your new habits.

Give yourself a lot of credit.  You have come a long way the last three weeks.

The hard part…the stuff that causes most people to quit, is behind you.  There is really only one thing left, barring injury, that could cause you to stop doing this.  You have to understand that you are forming habits that you want to last the rest of your life.  This isn’t a 90 day program you are on.  It may say 90 days…if it said, “To do the rest of your life!”  They wouldn’t sell one DVD set.  They hope that along the way here a message sinks in.  That message is, “Living this way is healthy and better than what you were doing.”  The only thing left that can cause you to quit is not making the mental leap required that makes exercise a part of your life from now on.

You will hear everybody who was ever on a diet type program tell you, “It worked for a short time, but then the weight came right back.”  The problem isn’t that the program stopped working….the problem is that THEY stopped working.  Making physical activity a part of your life is not a rock you push until it has momentum and then it mysteriously carries you and keeps rolling the rest of your life.  As you get older, things get more difficult.  The slope rises in front of you, not the other way around.  You stop pushing and that rock will just stop.  But if you decide right now that exercise and proper nutrition can work for you, you are moving in the best direction.

Reflect.  Use this week to fix your mind on how you make exercise work for you for the long term.  I don’t mean P90X type of exercise either…there is a goal and purpose to this workout that goes beyond a lifestyle change.  That said, you may WANT to incorporate P90X into your life…I know I am seriously considering it.  But right now, you need to begin to think about what life will be like from now on.  How will you commit to your future health?  Don’t overthink it and overwhelm yourself.  Just start thinking about yourself as someone who will want to exert themselves every day to keep the calorie burn going.

Reflect.

You have accomplished a lot.

What was your goal?  Was it to survive 90 days?  Or was it to change your life?

At this point, as people start to observe the changes, the positive feedback probably feels great.  Now is the time to feed off that and use that positive energy to carve out your future plan.

When I lost my 85 lbs four years ago, I can still remember the diet specialist asking me before the program, “What is your goal?”  Well, this wasn’t my first fatty rodeo.  I had lost a lot of weight many times and it always had come back.  I looked at her and said, “My goal is to lose the weight and never put it back on again.”  She responded, “No, I mean how much weight to you want to lose?”  I looked her straight in the eye, “I don’t care.  YOU give me a number and I will hit it.  I know I can do that.  I need to know how to keep this off for the rest of my life.”  As professional as they are, and as long as they have run that program for hundreds (maybe thousands) of people, I could tell by her tone that the number of times they had gotten that response could be counted on one hand.

This is a week to exercise at a vigorous but not too strenuous pace.  This week’s program is the kind of thing that you should be considering as you think about changing your life patterns for personal health.

Have a great week and Namaste!!

[Later that day]

Did Kempo X tonight...interesting thing happened.  I was doing the stretching and got a cramp in my hamstring.  I immediately stopped the DVD.  I took an additional 5 minutes of stretching and got myself warm with some jumping jacks and high knee stepping.  All went well.  Gave my all, and my all gave back...great workout.

One observation...how come I am working so much harder and with such better form than the big lunk in the back?  His horse stances are for crap and he puts no energy into his workout.  He must have blackmail pics of Tony Horton.  Now I know I am doing well...I am criticizing people in the DVD for not trying.

See ya tomorrow!

P90X: "Changes" Day 23 of 90

I'm not trying to hide the fact that this P90X program that I am undertaking has, as it's primary goal, to change the way my body looks.  I will say, though, that how my body looks is just evidence.  The true goal is to greatly improve my physical condition. The only visible barometer is 'how it looks.'  That said, when I want to know if this is working, the first thing I do is look for the changes.  There are a lot things that I observe during each workout, as I see improvements in every set of repetitions more vigor expended, but the most obvious indication is found in the mirror every morning.

There have been a lot of changes in three weeks.  I'm not going to go into great detail except to say that there are areas that I thought would always be a little flabby that are thinning out.  My legs are becoming more defined, my stomach is much tighter and, yes, there are some abs showing (for the record I always knew they were there buried underneath).

It's been a little more than three weeks and I am not even one third of the way there but the results are alarming.  They are so alarming that my wife and son are now doing the Tony Horton Thirty-Minute Power Half-Hour.  When the results inspire others, you know it is working.

For those of you following this, I did the Core Synergistics today and really worked myself into a sweat.  Every workout has been an improvement.  This is my warm-down week so I also did the treadmill as well for about thirty minutes.

It's Oscar night and I have been a massive movie fan my whole life.  Gonna relax and prep for this week.

Thanks P90X for putting just one more thing in front of me to challenge my way of thinking and my belief that nothing in life is impossible with the right drive and dedication.

See you all tomorrow!

P90X: "Alone" Day 22 of 90

A friend posted recently on Facebook about reaching a personal milestone of jogging three straight miles without stopping.  She said, "It may not seem impressive to the true runners out there but for me, it's HUGE! 6 months ago, I couldn't run a 1/2 mile without stopping! I'm pretty proud of myself."

I can't express how happy I was that she was ready to share a personal milestone like that, but I was dismayed to see her think it may not be big to others.  My response was, "‎...and you should be proud. The hell with other runners, you are competing with no one but you! Awesome!"

The really great thing was that she got 41 likes and 14 comments, all positive.  That was so cool.

It's easy to forget sometimes how lonely this can feel.  That thing inside you that pushes you is so private.  When it's really motivating you, it always feels like it's you against the world.  The rest of the world will always be there to make an excuse or to console you when you fail...but when you are pushing yourself, it's lonely.  It requires a drive so consistent, that you can't expect others to encourage you completely.  Oh, there are moments when you are being encouraged, but the times you are grinding it out...it's all you.

When you do finally achieve something, you feel like screaming it to the world.  But deep inside, because you feel like you pushed that rock alone, you never know if they really care.

Also, during those moments when you are enjoying what you have done, it's hard to enjoy.  The end result was to look better.  Somehow we have been made to think that that is so superficial that there is something wrong with looking good.  So you want to be proud, but you don't know how everyone will react.

Once again today, I was watching the DVD "When We Left Earth."  Seriously, if you achievers have never seen it, go get it.  It is the stuff we all are trying to be made of.  Today I was watching the footage on the first 7 Mercury astronauts.  There was Alan Shepard, sitting on top of the rocket to be the first American astronaut into space.  John Glenn always gets the big notoriety for being the first to orbit, but Shepard was the first into space after we sent a chimp named "Ham."  There was a flight glitch and he had to sit atop that rocket for four extra hours just prior to launch.  All I could think of was that for Gemini and Apollo missions, they had someone else there with them.  Not Shepard or the rest of the Mercury astronauts.  They had a lot of time to sit there and think about the problems and what their fate might be.

Alone.

Finally, when no one at NASA was comfortable giving the green light for launch, and after the delay had gone long enough that Shepard had to relieve himself in the space suit (another NASA first), Shepard was the final decision maker.  He said, "All right, let's light this candle...and don't f&%k it up."  Sorry for the language, that was a quote.  But I think we all get it.

It takes a lot of guts to do things when you know you are the one at risk and the one really making it happen.  Kudos to my friend and a big high five to all of you who are trying to better yourselves every day.  Many thanks to all of you who were so positive in reacting to her achievement...I hope you all know how valuable those comments are, even when they felt like they were easy to do.

On the workout...today was Yoga X!!  Weird...I really wanted Core Synergistics...but I am on week four and it is different.  It is supposed to be more relaxed.  It was still tough and I did three miles on the treadmill to warm down.  Hip was good, shoulder was great.

In the words of Alan Shepard, "All systems go."

Core tomorrow!

P90X: "Fear" Day 21 of 90

So you do something, and it hurts.  You feel the pain.  Maybe you even could hear the pain.  The human response is to avoid that pain causing action in the future.

But, life goes on.  If you were drinking orange juice, and got really sick, whether the juice caused it or not, you may never even want to smell OJ again.  But, there may come a day when you are in a position where you may have juice in front of you and have to drink it.  Maybe you are on ‘Survivor’ and you need to drink it to win a competition.  That’s a big stretch, but the analogy is not lost here.

You can’t let your fears debilitate you.  While there are some fears that are justified, most fears can be put into the irrational category.  Our response to them is emotional, not calculated.

So there I was last night, looking down the barrel of a Kempo X routine that I knew might have some issues.  I am on week three now and have been through this…so I know what the moves are.  I know the motion, and I know the body parts and joints required to complete the motion.  I know what is coming.

The night before, I had heard an exquisite joint wrenching sound from my right hip area, and felt the pain to go with it.  If there was ever a reason to not do the routine, that was it.  I also was still a little sore in that spot with a twinge here or there.  The fear is that I really do something that either makes me stop working out or worse, requires some medical help to fix.  That is not emotional fear.  Based on what I was about to do, that fear was completely rational.

I decided that what I needed to do was to do the workout and really listen to my body.  I should only push the workout when I knew the moves were safe and I could do them without causing damage.  I had my moments.  There were some left leg kicks that required the support of the hip that did cause some pain.  I made some adjustments and it was okay.  The interesting thing was that, if executed in the proper form…really disciplined proper form, the pain was less.  These exercises were made with that in mind.

I turned out a pretty rigorous routine, 95% of the exercises required no adjustments.

My flexibility is increasing tremendously and I think that the real tearing that might be happening is due to the deep stretches.  It might just be the breaking down of some gristle.  We shall see.

The bottom line is you can’t let fear become an obstacle to your growth or achievements.  Emotional irrational fears should never be allowed to do that.  That said, because they are emotional and irrational, they are the most difficult to overcome.  Rational fears should not be obstacles either.  Remove them.  Evaluate them for what they really are.  Then drop them off the plane.

 Fly straight, happy landings…and here’s to the start of week four tomorrow!

P90X: "Be Realistic" Day 20 of 90

Nothing in this world is perfect.

While we know this, far too often we let the “lack of a perfect solution” become the main obstacle to our success.  If you are ever going to get to the next level of success, there are going to be things that will get in your way.  You have to start your journey to achievement of any endeavor with the idea that you know things are coming your way; you are watching out for them; you will plan for them; and you will beat them.  Don’t start by expectation the road to be paved with daisies and lilacs.  If that were the case, everyone would be successful at everything…and we all know that true achievement comes with a price.  You have to be willing to pay it.

Right now, I am doing the P90X workout plan.  It is extreme.  I knew that going in.  The oldest guy on the DVD’s is Tony Horton, who at the time was a 45 year old freak of nature.  He is the result of 30 years of body conditioning.  I am 50.  So I know, there will be things that don’t quite go well.  I have to warm up very vigorously.  I have to make sure I stretch.  I have to pay close attention to my body because tears and rips are going to be far less forgiving at 50.  It will take me longer to heal.

That said, there are going to be moments when giving up might seem like the thing to do.  Don’t.

Last week I felt a pop in my shoulder.  I avoided that particular exercise this week and substituted something else.  I worried each time I did a new routine each day following the pop.  It went okay.  I didn’t take a day off, I just kept going.  You don’t have to kill a whole routine to heal.  You do what you can and don’t aggravate something that is still healing.  Last night was great because I feel like many other pullup exercises went way better than last week.  Some things healed up very well.

Then last night, I had a pull in my hip while I was doing lunges.  I backed off immediately and walked it around.  It was like the shoulder.  90% of the motion was possible with the hip, just one motion wasn’t.  So I was more careful with that movement.  I know that in the next few days, it will heal.  Probably stronger.  Take this away from the point though…I didn’t stop.

I have a favorite Al Pacino movie quote from the football movie “Any Given Sunday.”  I am taking this from memory as I write this but it goes something like this…”When you get old, things get taken from you.  That’s life.  But YOU have to decide if you are going to lay down, and get the $h!t kicked out of you, or if you are going to fight your way back.”

I choose the latter.  I think that anything in this life worth having requires work.

 Work on Kempo X tonight!

P90X: "The Magic of Motivation" Day 19 of 90

Don’t miss the little signs.

When we are driving to a destination these days, almost everybody uses either some type of PC generated map or a GPS.  When you do that, you have to put in two things: (a) your starting point, and (b) your destination.  The system does the rest by inserting all the small directions in between.  If you follow the small directions, you will get where you are going.  “Take a left at…”  “At the intersection, go right on…”  You know that you only need to make one move at a time, in order.  You will get where you are going.

This works great for goal setting because the big goal is no more than the summation of hitting all the little goals that hopefully have been inserted with the bigger goal in mind.  Goal setting in this manner has become generally accepted as the way to achieve.

The thing that is often left out is that to get from point to point requires the motivation to take the next step or make the next move.  When you are driving, just seeing the next location on the map provides that motivation.  You might even get out and stretch your legs.  You may take a look around and breath it in.  You have never been here before.  Enjoy the specialness of the journey. 

After you are done taking everything in, you are ready to take the next step.  You know the next place will be new, different, and that your ultimate goal is just that much closer.  That’s your motivation.  When you are goal setting, you need to do the same thing.  You need to make sure you pick your head up at each minor destination and acknowledge your progress.  It is in that moment, that you will find your motivation.  When performing a difficult task, is there anything that excites someone more than knowing that what they are doing is working?  I will answer it for you.  No.  There isn’t.

As you acknowledge each step the excitement will grow.  There will come a point when you are anxious to move on because the motivation is building.  It grows and feeds on itself.  The more you take in the small successes and the more they build, the greater your confidence gets that this is entirely possible and is really going to happen for you.

Remember to look close for these signs.  Sometimes, it’s the little signs that give you the biggest inspiration.

When I lost my big weight of 85 lbs four years ago, I will never forget a moment I had with my daughter.  I have been big my whole life and have fought the weight battle since I was ten years old.  The thing was, I had been fat for so long at that point in my life that, at twelve years old, my daughter and son had never seen me as anything other than that.  The big heavy fat guy, in their eyes, was who I was.  It had become as much ‘me’ as my mustache, my glasses, and my blue eyes.  It was a permanent image of who ‘dad’ was.  If they had to draw me in a school art project, I was fat.  Stop for a minute and consider that.  Almost every fat person can remember a time when they weren’t fat.  But there are people in your life who have only known you for a short time.  Their image of you is not the same as your self-image.

So there I was in my kitchen, and I had lost a lot of weight.  I was down about 65 lbs.  I was standing by the refrigerator, with my little 150 calorie sippy shake, and my daughter Lexie came up to give me a hug.  Then, she jumped back and looked at me with a very surprised look on her face.  I said, “What?  What’s wrong?”  Her surprise turned into an amused smile and she said, “That’s the first time I’ve ever hugged you where my hands touched each other.”  I want you to think about that for a moment.  That isn’t one of those little moments…that’s one you frame and put on the wall.

It’s hard not to get emotional when I recollect that memory.

I was not the same person to her anymore.  I was a brand new me.

There are small ones too.  Each becomes valuable in the chain.  When it comes to this journey of weight loss, you need to relish every success emotionally (not by giving yourself an eating party).

You may move a certain way and realize that you are doing it for the first time in a long time.  You might be wearing your favorite pair of pants (because they always fit just right) and stand up and realize they’re hanging too low and you have to hike them up.  You might put on your belt and pull it to the notch you think you usually use…and it feels funny.  When you look down, you can see a notch with all the color worn off the leather and a crease that looks like the belt could break right at that spot because that location has been worn in with age.  But you are not on that spot.  You can see it because it pulled through and you are on the next notch.  As they say on the talk radio stations, “First time, long time.”

Stop and think about what you have done at those moments.  Give yourself credit for the work.  You have done a lot to get here.

DON’T MISS THE LITTLE SIGNS.  Relish every small step for what it is and use that fuel to take the next step.

That is why you write down your weight on P90X.  That’s why there are pictures.  That’s why you mark down what you did on day one and what you did every day along the way.  Progress, yes, but motivation. 

You need to understand this one thing.  When you get to the point in your life where your achievements are also becoming your motivating fuel, your success is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You are then creating your own momentum in whatever endeavor you are embracing, be it weight loss or anything else in your life.

Recognize the small signs.  Find your fuel.  Master your success.  You CAN do it.

Legs and Shoulders tonight…last week I broke my shoulder on this one.   Tonight I go to the bands to see if I can work the muscle without the impact to the joints.  Wish me luck!

[later that night]

Good news and bad news.  For me, anyway.  The shoulder really responded.  It came back stronger and I was actually able to do all the pullups except for the wide grip, which were still twinge-y.  I didn't want to push to pain, so I did 25 lb shoulder presses instead.  The other pullups, all were done at higher reps than two weeks ago. I actually recovered stronger.  That was great news!

The 'not so good news' now.  You know on Thanksgiving?  When you grab a turkey leg that is still attached to the turkey...and then you twist it and try to separated it from the body?  You know that sound?  I actually heard that from my hip.  I was doing a left leg out lunge, right leg straight and behind me.  I lunged and then I wanted to make sure I was straight and when I straightened up, that's when I heard the noise.  It was painful but I released and walked it off.  I did some moderate stretches and it seemed that I was fine to bend every other way.  I could also go back to a lunge but not put a full stretch in that area.  I think the one week of recovery will be really welcome.

Oh yeah, every exercise improved.  My son is going to start the 30 minute power hour with Tony to get himself conditioned to do more.  Cool eh?  See you tomorrow. 

P90X: "OLD Is a Choice You Make" Day 18 of 90

A friend of ‘like age’ said to me once, “I’ve decided that there is nothing else I want to learn.  No texting, or chatting or social networking.  No new technology.  I’ve learned all I need to learn for the rest of my life.  Now I just want to enjoy things.”

I thought about that for a while.  I thought about it enough that I never forgot it, and it has been almost two years.

I listen to people say things like, “I’ll never understand that,” or “I just don’t get how these things work.”

It all comes down to choice.  I work in information technology, a field that changes all the time.  The competitive landscape, the tools, the customers…you have to evolve or die.  That is something that permeates my work life but also my personal life.  Do I embrace the 'new' because of the job?...and then have it overflow into my personal life?  Actually, no.  I embrace the 'new' personally, and it makes me effective at my job. 

Why are new things so challenging to people when they get over forty?

Because they stop.  They stop trying.  They stop growing.  They halt their own evolution.  Like my friend, they stop learning.  They paint their own finish line.  And they paint that line in a race that only they are running.

Do you realize, that you are giving up at a time when you possess the greatest advantage? 

To illustrate, I look at my work life.  To have been in a business environment for twenty five years…to have gone through three economic cycles…to have observed technology change from a PC where the operating system was a floppy disc and the data storage was a second floppy disc, to what we have today…is experience no new worker can buy.  You can spot the risks instinctively.  You can work to a better and more successful outcome because you know how to protect your backside.  You can see the problems that lay hidden in front of you, because you have been there before…so you can steer the ship and avoid a collision.

That’s a business analogy.  It’s the same personally.  You have been around the block.  Your kids don’t know that.  They think you’re stupid.  They have no idea you may have tried drugs, binged on alcohol, skipped school, partied with your friends, been dumped by a girl/guy, drove without seatbelts, made fun of the teacher, or been suspended from school.  They think you will never get it.  Their methods may have changed, but their social habits haven’t.  Their social needs are the same as yours were.  They are just playing on a slightly different field.

You have experience.  It’s the greatest competitive advantage known to man.  If you throw in the towel now, you are quitting right as your opportunities for success have their highest potential.  Opportunities in all walks of life.  You have never been in a better position.

If you choose to be old now…if you choose to embrace the perceived comfort of stopping now…you have painted your own finish line.

I was watching a TV mini-series recently that ended a couple of years ago, but a friend told me I would love.  He was right incidentally.  It’s the new Battlestar Gallactica series.  It's not the one from the seventies, it's the one from this decade.  In it, there is a race of aliens known as the Cylons that have evolved from robots that man built.  They are part flesh and part machine.  The advantage they have over the humans is that if they die, they download their consciousness into a collective hive and then that same consciousness is then uploaded, or reborn, into an exact but brand new replica body.  In essence, they never die.

As I watched the episodes, there was a line that really made me think.  One enlightened human said to the other, “How can we ever beat them?  You kill them, but they keep coming back in new bodies.  And the new ones never have to be retrained.  They come back stronger and with all the experience and knowledge that their predecessor had.”

P90X.  As I do these workouts, I think of that concept.  I’m not ready to stop.  I’m not ready to give in.  Like the Cylons, I am creating a new body to live in for the next ten to twenty years.  I will be in as good a physical condition as someone twenty years my junior, but I will have all the advantages of experience and knowledge.

True living is evolution.

I absolutely refuse to paint the finish line of my own life.

Yoga X tonight.  Ninety minutes of some of the toughest ‘posing’ you will ever see.

P90X: "Changing a Mindset" Day 17 of 90

I was asked last night, “How long has it been since you lost all that weight?”  “How much was it?”  “How long did it take you?”

That may not seem odd if you are reading this.  Would it make a difference to you if you knew that the ones asking were family members that I see every week?  Apparently they had looked at my diet blog the other night and could not believe the size of me back then.  Some were not even able to remember that I had been that large without looking at my before pictures.

It will be four years this summer.  It has been a long enough time period that memories have faded.  When I think about it, I can’t believe it has been that long myself.  I think the difference is that I changed not only my appearance, but I changed my mindset.  Exercise is an essential part of my weekly routine now.  Not P90X exercise…that is new.  Exercise in general.  I have a membership at Planet Fitness which I have used consistently.  I broke at least three of their treadmills because I run with heavy steps.  But exercise has become a very important aspect of my life. 

Moving around physically has become something that I embrace.  I love taking vacations where people have to walk distances or just spend time in the air.  The mountains, the beaches…you name it.  The heat doesn’t bother me at all anymore.  In fact, there was a time when the heat was devastating to me.  I could sweat just thinking about walking.  Not anymore.  I can stand in the sun and just bake it in.

I don’t look at food the same way.  I eat almost the same thing every day.  I have oatmeal for breakfast with natural applesauce and raisins.  I have a good sized salad for lunch.  When I say ‘good sized’ I don’t mean one of those salads that is decorated with every fattening thing in the salad bar.  Just because they stick it under the clear blast screen doesn’t mean it is healthy.  In fact, there’s a lot of stuff that has invaded the salad bar that should be tossed.  Blocks of cheese.  Instead of lean chicken or fish…the barbeque sauce covered stuff.  The salad bar used to be a bastion of healthy eating, but no longer.  A ‘good sized’ salad to me is a salad that has a lot of lettuce.  Lots of olives, green pepper, artichoke hearts, a hard boiled egg and some lean chicken.  Dressing is usually the most fattening thing…the Kraft light Dijon is my choice these days.  For dinner, I have whatever has been made (except these days with P90X) and do my best to stay within the boundaries of what I need to eat.

There are occasions when I have snacks, holiday gatherings, football games…but it is not my norm.  It is an exception.  I will have dessert sometimes.  I like Apple Crisp, or chocolate cake…with coffee.  But I don’t have dessert every day.  Most of the time, it will be a weekend...maybe a Saturday night.  I have developed an understanding about the food I am putting in my body and a healthy approach to it.  I don’t eat for entertainment anymore.  After four years though, I have made it such a habit that I do it reflexively.  I have stopped thinking about it.

I am watching things very closely these days on the P90X.  Mainly because I want to see results faster and I am working my butt off on the exercises.  I don’t need to do anything that adds to the workload.  But P90X doesn’t have to be my life if my goal is to just be thinner and healthier.  The last three years have not been that extreme.  On the contrary, they have been extremely normal.

My cholesterol, which once topped out at about 260, was 177 at my last blood test last fall.  All my markers for my health were optimal.  The doctor said my body was responding like I was in my twenties, not my late forties.  For people who have only known good health and healthy living habits their whole life, this may not be a big deal.  For a guy who four years ago was in size 44 waist pants, had a death defying cholesterol level, acid reflux causing chest pain, material back issues, and inflammation everywhere due to immune system breakdown…I think it’s pretty good.

My word for the day is this…you can lose weight if you truly want to.  It’s a mindset.  It’s a desire to do things a little, but not drastically, different from now on.  It is not difficult to find 30-40 minutes a day, or 50 minutes every other day, to exercise.  You can find it somewhere if it is important to you.  It’s not hard to begin to create healthy eating habits.  The food that is good for you is actually in the same grocery store as the food that is awful for you.  The same store.  It doesn’t have to be spaghetti-o’s, it can be spinach.  It doesn’t have to be Twinkies, it can be apples, pears and bananas.  It doesn’t have to be the soft fluffy white bread…it can be whole grain wheat.

Your life WILL NOT BE MISERABLE by making these choices.  If you are in such bad physical condition (overweight, high blood pressure, high cholesterol) that it is jeopardizing the quality of your life…I guarantee that I can see misery in your future.  These changes will improve your life.  It’s not that hard.  People who insist it’s impossible simply do not want to change.  For whatever reason, they don’t want to.  The obstacles they see are being put in front of them by them…nothing else.

If you want to understand ‘hard’, read yesterday’s blog.

When you decide to take the steps to make these changes, you simply make the same decision every day.  You make them until they stop becoming decisions.  You make them until they become who you are.

Thoughts need motivation, motivation needs action, action needs repetition and repetition brings results.

If you want to look in the mirror and see something different, the power is entirely yours.

As I was answering the questions last night, it was obvious.  I created a new ‘me’ by changing my mindset.  You can too.  You will feel better for it.

Ab Ripper X and Arms tonight!

[later that night]

I was a little tentative about how the shoulder would be tonight.  Ab Ripper X and then the Arms and Shoulders routine were on the agenda.  I survived just fine...better than fine...no pain.  All the reps were done, some with increased weight.  I am logging my progress as instructed in the book.  My arms are getting more taught and definitely fuller.  The ab ripper went real well too.  It struck me as I was sitting doing my curls that next week is the warm down week...but I don't want a warm down week.  I want to do the same as this week and then move into something more challenging.  So I'm going to have to consult my coaches and see how to approach this.  At work today, one of the women looked at me and said, "What's going on?  Are you doing some kind of weight loss thing?  I think you are losing weight or something."  This is really cool.

P90X: "Daring to Try the Impossible" Day 16 of 90

How hard does something have to be before it is too much for you to contemplate?  What is the point at which you say, "No way, not for me?"  Many look at this P90X program and decide that it is too much.  I do understand.  It is a commitment of literally an hour per day.  It means that you will watch your diet and be disciplined about following the fitness program.  The exercise is pretty strenuous and hard.  Those can be some pretty tough obstacles.

I did my workout today, Cardio X and I really kicked butt on it.  The workouts are getting to the point where I complete every workout and every repetition.  That was NOT the case two weeks ago when there were some things I just plain could not do.  My flexibility has practically doubled.  I am taking few to no breaks per session on any of the nights now.

It's a challenge for me to do this, as has been many things in my life these past four years.  A lot of the challenges I have taken on are things not many would attempt.  Losing my 80 plus pounds and keeping it off, writing a book, and achieving many of the things I have done in my work life.  Now this P90X challenge is in front of me.

Does this make me special?  No.  Not a chance.  It is personally rewarding, yes.  But there are many people, every day, who face far greater challenges than this.  I try to remember that when I begin every day and look at what is in front of me.  Doing P90X is not impossible.  It is completely possible.  It is just hard.

Know what else is hard?  Fighting your own cancer.  Having to sit with your child when they are in pain, and you can do absolutely nothing.  Living with a medical condition that you will have to carry with you to the grave, because there is no cure, only medicines to help manage it.  Now THAT takes real courage.  THAT is a challenge.  How do you deal with a hand that you were dealt that you didn't ask for or ever contemplate was coming?

When things look hard, I think about those things.

I also think about those people who choose to put themselves in harms way.  People who may give their life to save another.  From our Police and Firemen...to the military...to someone performing a random act of unselfishness to protect someone else and paying the ultimate price.

It's humbling.

While I was on the treadmill today, I watched a DVD of mine called "When We Left Earth."  It's about our space program.  When I watch the first men who went to the moon, I watch in awe.  I look at the astronauts who got into those rockets.  Rockets that were largely untested.  Every new rocket had improved technology in it.  Which means they were using it for the first time.  The Saturn rocket used on Apollo 8 was brand new, 35 stories tall and had a million gallons of fuel.  The last people to get into a Saturn rocket had died testing it.  That was Gus Grissom, Ed White and Roger Chaffee in Apollo 1.  The mission for Apollo 8 was to go to the moon, do 12 rotations and come home.  Alive.  It was the precursor to the moon landings...proof that we could go all the way to the moon and back.

I think a lot about all of those astronauts.  What kind of men did something like that require?  What were they made of?  This was a risk that we cannot even contemplate.  They had almost no control over the machinery.  The on-board computers had less technology than what we have today in a complicated digital watch.  They actually had slide rules to help with the math.  Slide rules.  No one from this generation even knows what they are.  They climbed onto those large man-made bombs and strapped themselves in to take the ride.  Frank Borman, one of the astronauts, said he calculated the odds of mission success at 33%.  Seriously?

So when I look at things, like P90X, I think about those kinds of things.  Doing it every day reminds me that persistence pays off.  It reminds me that I can control more in this life than I might think possible.  It keeps me healthy, something that has become very important to me.  But no one's dying with the decision to do this.

Can you do this?  If you are asking yourself that, remember...no one's asking you to cure cancer, or survive it.  No one is asking you to risk your life.  No one is asking you to perform brain surgery.  No stress about trying this.  No one even invested money and is asking you to turn it into profit.  It is an exercise program.  That's it.  And it is physically demanding.  So what.  (I say that with a 'period' purposely...it is a statement)

Give it a try and if you push through it, you will love that you could do it.  And you will feel great about it.  And you will feel, the next time you have an obstacle in your life, that you are just a little bit better prepared for the challenge...because you have done some tough things in your life and whipped them.

See you tomorrow.