P90X: "Finding Happiness, Part 2" Day 35 of 90

Again, just to repeat yesterday’s Introduction to this…

I like challenges.  I like when I have to work to see if I can do something, whether that something is put in front of me by me or by someone else.  This challenge is my own.  I don’t know why, but lately I have been asking myself a lot, “Why is it that some people are happy, and others are not?”  In order to answer that question, the next obvious question is, “What makes someone happy?”  Because I don’t think there are people in this world who are sad…I think there are people who have an absence of happiness.

But isn’t happiness an emotion?  Yes, it is.  But any emotion is a physical response to a set of circumstances, conscious or unconscious.  Did you ever ask someone why they are sad and hear, “I don’t know?”  I believe them.  They don’t know.  But I believe you CAN know.

I have thought a lot about the subject, and even did a little psychology research on the web.  I am going to take a shot at this in three consecutive posts.  Who am I to think I can define this?  How do I know…really.  I am chuckling here.  It’s my theory…I like to think about this stuff.  I also do research and read a lot, so I may have given this more thought than most.  I am nobody really.  Just like everyone else on this planet, when you think about it.  Now I am really chuckling to myself, you just can’t see it.

Warning!!  This is my opinion.  It may have validity…it may not.  If it does anything, I hope it inspires thought and maybe even prompts some debate.

Part Two:  Control

Part One of my theoretical approach to happiness was priorities.  WHAT do you need in your life and what is its order of precedence?  Which comes first, and which comes last?  Once you have given that a lot of thought, you then have an idea about your personal priorities.

Part Two is about control.  I believe that one of the foundations of happiness is the amount of control you have over your needs.  If a person has a group of needs being met, but thinks that their list of needs can disappear with a moment’s notice, it is hard to achieve happiness.  Reread that last sentence.  I used the word ‘thinks.’  If a person ‘thinks’ their list of fulfilled needs can disappear.  I believe this perception accounts for much of the happiness or unhappiness in the world.  Control is one of the driving forces of happiness.

If the most basic needs of food and shelter are being provided by someone else and are out of your control, the only way you can be happy is to be able to trust that whoever is providing for you will do so consistently.  After that, you can move on to fulfilling your next need.  If YOU are primarily providing food and shelter through a stable job and routine income, then you feel more in control.  If someone else is providing those things, you need to focus on maintaining that relationship.  That becomes the foundation for fulfilling the primary need.  If that relationship or support is tenuous, then your control, and resulting happiness, will be less.

The extent to which you control the fulfillment of your own needs will affect how happy you are.

This concept of control is easily explained at the lower levels, but what about when you get to Social needs?  You can’t really control your friendships and relationships…can you?  Yes, you can.  You have choice.  They are not easy choices as they all involve personalities and emotions.

How were your social relationships formed?  Did you go out and find friends or did they find you?  Are you in the social circles you are in because other things in your life just kind of dropped you there?  Do you feel like an important part of that circle…are you actually welcome in it?  You can control how this works in your own life.  The best book I have ever read on this is ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’  I even made my kids read it.  It is a great primer on acquiring and maintaining your social relationships.

Socially, there are also things like family situations that carry assumed etiquettes and protocols…like holiday visits where you ‘have’ to be together.  There are work situations that may need to be endured because the job is needed for you to control the most primary of your needs. 

This is meant to be a short set of thoughts, so there is no real room to go into family and social dynamics.  Just ask yourself the question, “Who controls what goes on in the Social areas of my life?”  Am I choosing or am I letting others dictate this for me?  If the answer to that question is that others are responsible for whether or not that need is being met, it may affect how secure you are in meeting that need.  It will affect your overall happiness.

Social needs become so complex that many actually will say, when choosing the order of their personal needs, they come after such needs as money and success.  Money and success are typically needs which go with career type needs…but this is an example of how your priorities may dictate your needs hierarchy.

So in the end, my theory is that it all comes down to control.  The more control you have over your own needs, the happier you will be.  There will always be something that can pierce that veil of perception you have about how well you are controlling things, but for the most part, control over these things can better dictate how generally happy you are.

Tomorrow…growth and how it makes the final determinant of your happiness.

Workout schedule…

Today is my off-day.  We launched our bank today, http://www.smarterbank.com

Also had a company celebration.  Didn’t do a damn thing for P90X except try to keep all snacking as clean eating.  Tomorrow, I upgrade my P90X from Lean to the more rigorous Classic.  Will let you know how it goes!

P90X: "Finding Happiness, Part 1" Day 34 of 90

I like challenges.  I like when I have to work to see if I can do something, whether that something is put in front of me by me or by someone else.  This challenge is my own.  I don’t know why, but lately I have been asking myself a lot, “Why is it that some people are happy, and others are not?”  In order to answer that question, the next obvious question is, “What makes someone happy?”  Because I don’t think there are people in this world who are sad…I think there are people who have an absence of happiness.

But isn’t happiness an emotion?  Yes, it is.  But any emotion is a physical response to a set of circumstances, conscious or unconscious.  Did you ever ask someone why they are sad and hear, “I don’t know?”  I believe them.  They don’t know.  But I believe you CAN know.

I have thought a lot about the subject, and even did a little psychology research on the web.  I am going to take a shot at this in three consecutive posts.  Who am I to think I can define this?  How do I know…really.  I am chuckling here.  It’s my theory…I like to think about this stuff.  I also do research and read a lot, so I may have given this more thought than most.  I am nobody really.  Just like everyone else on this planet, when you think about it.  Now I am really chuckling to myself, you just can’t see it.

Warning!!  This is my opinion.  It may have validity…it may not.  If it does anything, I hope it inspires thought and maybe even prompts some debate.

The three parts will be: Priorities, Control, and Growth.  And so I begin…

My personal opinion is that the first step to happiness is Priorities.  It’s understanding what’s important to you and putting things in the right order.  Many approach life without knowing or thinking about what their priorities are.  A lot of people do this…I see kids doing it all the time.  A lot of people also let other people establish their priorities, and never actually understand what is important to THEM.  Bottom line, you have to spend a little time on personal introspection and think about this for yourself.  

What matters to you in your life?  Not WHO.  WHAT matters?  WHAT do you need?  Every one of us has a unique set of answers.  We are all different.

A long time ago, in a Psych 101 class…far, far away…, we all learned about Maslow and his hierarchy of needs.  It basically says that we all have needs starting from the most basic (placed at the bottom of the hierarchy pyramid) to the higher level needs (at the top of the pyramid).  The only way to get to the top level is to fill, and keep filled, the lower levels.  You can’t build a solid house on quicksand, it needs a solid base.  The minute we lose a lower level, we have to fill it before we can move on.  It’s pretty basic.  Old as the hills.  Which is why many people think it has merit…so who am I to argue?

The pyramid of human needs (according to Maslow) goes like this, and I am putting this in order from advanced (highest) needs to the most basic so that the pyramid looks right.

5. Self Actualization

4. Esteem

3. Social

2. Safety

1. Physiological

It makes sense when you look at it.  The thing I never liked about Maslow’s conceptual theory, though, is that beyond showing these levels, Maslow then defined what things in a person’s life should go on each step.  He thought he could tell you what a Safety Need was for you.  Or an Esteem Need.  What I have found is that there actually is NO set definition for that.  Everybody, based on the ‘WHAT matters’ and ‘WHAT do they need’ question, fills these five steps with their own unique way.  Everybody’s recipe is different. 

People are experiential creatures who perceive their current needs based on their past existence.  If you grew up without a roof over your head and little to eat, you may have a heavy focus on just having food and a place to live.  But if you have always had those two things, you may never even conceive or consider life without those two items...so they don't get a priority placement.  They are simply taken for granted...which can cause issues later (but that is in Part 2).  If you have had physical illnesses, being healthy is huge.  So, people will define ‘WHAT matters’ based on their own set of priorities, many of which are driven by things they have always perceive they lacked in some way, shape or form.

The pyramid has a logical pattern.  How are you filling these levels?  WHAT matters to you?  What are your priorities and at what level, on this pyramid, do they sit for you?

I believe that each level must be satisfied in order, but the “WHAT matters” answer at each level is the true personal order for you.

I will give you an example of a need that changes steps for different people.   Physical fitness.  Given today’s society and the statistics on overweight and obesity, I don’t think this is a level one need in most people’s lives.  Should it be?  It is all over the map for many.  If your physical condition is something you take for granted, maybe you don’t have it as a priority at all.  If you are an actor and your physical appearance is part of your career, maybe it is in the Esteem level.  If your physical condition is thought by you to affect your social situation…maybe you wish certain people found you attractive…it might be a Social level.  If you have high cholesterol or blood pressure, it might be Safety, and if you have a heart attack or another life threatening event…it may actually be at level one.

It’s the same for your other needs…maybe you think your career is a Safety need, so you put it there.  So, to my point, everyone fills the steps of the pyramid based on their own recipe.

One more thing, the needs you have in your life and the step you put them on can change.  Nothing is permanent.  Something could drastically alter those priorities.  As I stated earlier, we are experiential beings and our current needs stem from our past, which could be as recent as the job you may have lost yesterday.

So, the first step is to know your priorities right now through personal introspection.  Think.  Dig deep.  What is important to you and what is the order of importance.  Then put those things on each level.  Look at them and understand them.  Know they can change.

Most of all, begin to understand the framework and patterns of your life.  I think this is the first step to happiness.  Every journey has a map and every map has an order of milestones you have to pass to get to your destination.  These are the milestones to your map.  WHAT matters to you?

TONIGHT’S WORKOUT: Kempo X!!!

TOMORROW’S BLOG:  Finding Happiness, Part 2 - CONTROL

P90X: "Balance" Day 33 of 90

Life can get really complicated.  Keeping all the balls in the air requires concentration and skill.  What if, though, the balls could change shape at any moment?  How many of us are so skilled at juggling and adapting that we could do that?  It is almost impossible to ask anyone to try.

The funny thing about life is that it behaves exactly that way.  Just when you have your rhythm and flow, life throws you a curve.  One of those balls goes from being a tennis ball to a bowling ball in seconds.  Ever seen the jugglers do that?  The whole bowling ball juggling with the smaller stuff?  No one ever tosses in another bowling ball.  The main difference is that if the juggler drops everything, people still applaud the effort.  It’s just a bunch of objects.  No harm, no foul.  Nice try, though!

In life, dropping all the balls can result in more bad stuff.  And there are people, relationships, jobs, etc. in the balance.

So sometimes, when the tennis ball explodes into a bowling ball, you have to gently put the smaller balls in your life gently down, and take care of the bowling ball.

That’s today.  So the blog is short.  But hopefully still effective.

Legs and Shoulders later!

[later that day]

Did the Ab Ripper X...knocked that out.

Also did the Legs and back.  Made some real progress here...could do the pullups.  Also did the wide pullups.  Not full, still not strong enough to do that, but used the chair and my toes to put as much pressure as I could handle.  I was really trying to listen to my body.

The hip was fine.  That injury is healed.  Completed  the whole routine.  I am happy with my progress tonight.  Kempo tomorrow!  

P90X: "Adapting" Day 32 of 90

The first week of every P90X phase is called the Adaptive week.  It’s a wake up call.  Unless you are in week one, the adaptive week follows a recovery week.  It’s like in the Army when they sound reveille each morning.  It can be that jarring.

Last night I did the Chest, Triceps and Shoulders for the first time in the program.  After four weeks, I was pretty confident of my ability to do many of the exercises.  Actually, very confident.

Then, there I was dying on the floor doing many of the exercises.  One after the other…shoulders, then triceps, then chest, then shoulders again…burn.  I got to the one arm “Rocky” pushups and could not do one.  Not ONE.  On my knees….not ONE.  My body was trashed.

If I hadn’t plowed through Ab Ripper X first (successfully) I would have been even more depressed.

I had to rethink my approach.  Adaptive.  That was what Week One was.  That first week when I did so poorly at almost everything.  I was happy back then when I got to Kempo because I was able to finish the reps!  I have to keep remembering that this is another adaptive week.  I also have to remember how well I am doing the other routines after doing so miserably that first week.

There are places in my body that are really sore today.  I have come to realize that those are the muscles that weren’t used a lot in Phase 1 (the first four weeks).  I also feel like I have some kind of cold coming on.  This is like déjà vu.  The first week, after the Arms and Shoulders workouts, I got a pretty good cold too.  I am starting to think that this first level of physical activity taxes my body so much that other areas take a hit too.  Or it could be coincidence.  Either way, I am going to slightly raise my calorie count and plug in a little more concentrated Vitamin C.

Every new challenge in life, P90X or not, has an adaptive phase.  I watched both my kids go through the process of adapting to High School these past two years.  More homework.  More activities.  Better time management.  Social demands.  It was painful for them.  They seem much better now and they will be much better off for going through it.  Is their life more simple now?  No.  They are just used to it.  They adapted.

It will happen all through life.  New job.  New home.  Children.  More children.  Grand children?  I said in yesterday’s blog that what we are going through in P90X is the same as the Life-Cycle.  Life never stops putting challenges in front of you.  This part is no different.  In life, the day you say, “I’m done, I’m right where I want to be,” is the day life moves on without you.  That’s called ‘getting old.’  Life is about adapting…evolving.

Just ask Darwin.

I am going to keep today’s blog short so my arms can recover!  Yoga tonight.  I know, it’s long workout…but it goes by fast!       

[later that day]

Yoga X tonight went well, completed all the exercises.  Actually got into the crane for about 5 to 7 seconds.  Did the back arching thing after the bridge for the first time.  You would think I could remember the names at this point but I just listen to how I am supposed to move my body and then do it.  So I could do more, but it felt like some of the exercises were off, particularly the balance exercises.  I thing the rigor of last nights exercises threw some stuff off.  All the ab stuff is really coming along though.

Okay...tomorrow brings the infamous exercise that ripped my shoulder and minor hip flexor.  This should be interesting!

P90X: "Momentum" Day 31 of 90

Every journey with a goal has two critical points where 'quitting' becomes a serious threat.   

One place is at the very beginning.

In the beginning, everything is hard.  Your existing situation may look hopeless.  The journey looks long and the destination is so far away it may not be physically or emotionally visible to you.  It takes a lot of courage to plow through that point.  There is a lot of hard work, a lot of learning and a lot of faith.  At those times, the milestones come quickly and it is very obvious that you are progressing.

Why is it obvious?  Because the journey is so foreign to you that every day brings something new.  As you pass each new point, the journey is very conscious.  You can also, at this point, see your own progression as you learn and change.  Every journey begins this way.

During that first part of the journey, if anything messes up those milestones, the towel could get thrown in at any moment.

The other place in a journey where 'quitting' becomes a threat is about one third through it.

Why?  There are a few reasons. 

First, nothing about the journey is really new anymore.  There may be some slight changes to the process, but not like at the beginning.  Monotony sets in.  It feels like you are doing the same thing day in and day out.  You want to feel what you felt in the very beginning.

Second, you can see how you improved.  You see results, but not the overall result you were shooting for.  The monotony starts to speak to those first sets of results and tell you that you have done enough.  “Let’s try something new,” it says to you.  “Maybe this is as good as it gets,” it echoes into your brain.

Lastly, the goal you originally set is still over the next horizon.  It still looks far away and you can’t see it.  Like a traveler in the desert who comes upon the first oasis, maybe there IS no more water.  Do I really need to go on?

In P90X, this is where I am (and if you are reading this blog while you “X”, you too) right now.  Thirty days have passed.  Four weeks and two days.  I have looked at my workouts for Phase 2 and they look pretty much the same.  Some things are slightly changed but they will be pretty much the same…same DVD, same people, same reps.  Same, same, same.

I have seen definite improvement.  It has been noticed by many around me.  I also see some of the same stuff hanging off my body as when I started.  In truth, there is less, but it didn’t disappear.

I am still sixty days away from the goal.  What was the goal?  I forget.  Just kidding.  It was to give this thing ninety days and not quit.  “Maybe I overshot the runway on that one?” says your brain.  I still don’t look like Tony Horton.  Probably never will.  In your own mind, you begin to sound like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh.

WHAT DO YOU DO??

You need to stay motivated.  This is your “one thing” right now.  Don’t throw it away and look for the next thing simply because right now it feels like you are pushing a big rock up a hill and there is still a ways to go.  When you get past THIS point, you will have achieved something very special and I can share with you what that is because I have been at the point many times.

When you beat this part of the journey you will have given yourself a gift that no one else can give you.  It is something only you can give to yourself and it cannot be taken away ever.  Everybody who ever achieved a goal had to make it through this.  When you do, your journey will NOT be over.  But, you will be at a point where the destination is in sight.  The really hard stuff will be over and you can push hard to the finish line.  You will have learned how to motivate your SELF.  I said many passages ago that this is done “alone.”  Well, this is the part of your success story that you write yourself.

This is not just a journey to fitness.  This is a life experience that you can and will take with you to all other aspects of your life.  Pass through Phase 2 here and you will have conquered every part of the success lifecycle.  When you take up that next goal in your life, and you get to this point, it will be very familiar to you.  You will KNOW with certainty that by perseverance and discipline, when you come through this part, you are moments away from the finish line...and you WILL be successful.  You will know because you have done it before.

If you quit now, you will never be able to say you did this.  If you quit now, the next time you are trying to achieve something, this part will be there waiting to challenge you one more time.  It will have beaten you before, it will be waiting to beat you again.

You have MOMENTUM.  Use it.  Cruise with it.  This part of the journey requires nothing more than dogged determination and persistence.  And FAITH.  A word I learned the real value of last year.  Some of you will get that, I say to myself with a smile.

Give yourself this gift.  You will never regret it.

Tonight, a new DVD.  I will let you know how it goes…as always.   

 [later that day]

Okay, I had forgot what the first time of a new routine feels like.  I remember now.  My muscles crashed so many times during that routine my insurance rates probably went up.  I am a little disgusted and depressed.  I should have also remembered to look at the DVD first to ensure I had all the equipment.  The push up handles would have come in handy and I could have avoided the Scavenger Hunt in my garage for a frisbee to do the pushups.  It didn't matter.  The breaks did not help my endurance at all.  Tomorrow, I will be hurting for sure.  One arm pushups, on my knees....ZERO reps.  I tried twice but my face kept getting dented from smacking the floor...so I marked zero on the sheet.  There were a couple of very light rep exercises because I just couldn't budge a muscle.  I also didn't do well the last phase in the first outing of weights because it takes at least one round to baseline your reps and weights.  I did the Ab Ripper X first and did the full workout...so that was the redeeming quality.

Will let you know in the AM how stressed the muscles got.

P90X: "Changes - Level 1" Day 30 of 90

Today is kind of a two edged sword.  I want to see the changes in the last 30 days.  I know there have been many from performance, to endurance, to visible looks.  Many people have commented over the past couple of weeks...so I know it's not just me.  That said, you look at these pictures, and it is not easy to SHOW the dramatic changes.  I'm not trying to sell something here, I KNOW this is working.  The pictures, however, are not showing the changes as vividly as I am feeling them.  That said, let's take a look.

I did not have a comparison shot for the one to the left here...but I did not look like this.

As I said before, I am looking for the changes.  Before we get started, I should mention that my back issues, which I am seeing a chiropractor for, are much better but my posture is awful.  I need to make some adjustments to my daily sitting at the computer and to how I sit in the car.

Alright, here goes....DAY 0 shots on left....DAY 30 shots on right.

Now, the changes are a much straighter posture.  My chest is better defined.  My middle is shrinking, though not as much as I can see when I move around and look.  My stomach is much more rigid and becoming more defined.  If you look from my rib cage to my belt line, the 'tire is moving down and the lines are becoming more vertical.

The side shot is not so bad.  You can definitely see tricep definition, stomach muscles pulling in, and better chest definition.  The fat tire around my waist is absolutely shrinking.

My back is a mess.  If Day 90 is a sculpted down version of the badly positioned muscles, I might be able to sell the pictures to a chiropractor magazine.  That said, there are areas of clear improvement, even to my rotten shoulder region.

So there we have it.  Thirty days of P90X.  Let me say this though.  In thirty days, I have come a long, long way.  The pictures are not staggering, but change is evident.  This is not a short term thing...it takes a long time to get a body into the out of shape condition that I was in a long time ago.  This journey to fitness will be one that has many steps.  60 Days from now, I am sure there will be very radical differences.

Thanks for following....see you tomorrow!